The Purpose of Life
by KEleison
Summary: Ichigo, bored after having lost his Shinigami powers after his battle with Aizen, suddenly finds something that may make life a bit more interesting: Ulquiorra is still alive. Ichigo knows that he might be crazy for doing so, but he decides to convince the ex-Espada to come and try life among the living for a while. [Ulquihime]
1. The Adventure Begins

**The Adventure Begins**

* * *

 _ **[Long] Author's Note** **:**_

 **The story begins a few months after the end of the Winter War. I may be referencing a few things that happened in my previous fan fic: "What is Kindness?" This is technically the sequel to that one, but nothing in the original contradicted cannon, and not a lot was added, so it's not necessary to read that one before this one.**

 **I suggest you watch the** _ **Shinigami Illustrated Guide**_ **(the after-credits scene)** **at the end of Bleach episode 288 before reading.**

 **As with my previous work, for those unfamiliar with Japanese honorifics, I offer a very brief explanation of those that I use:**

 **"-sama" means "Lord" or "Master"**

 **"-san" means Mr, Mrs, or Miss, as the case may be or it may be used to show general respect**

 **"-kun" and "-chan" refer to a friend, dear one, or sweetheart**

 **"-taichou" means "Captain"**

 **Please note that there are far more meanings and connotations in the original language; this is only a brief explanation of them as they appear in this story.**

 **One more thing: in Japanese, they would write the "family name" first and the "first name" last, so I'll write "Inoue Orihime" and "Kurosaki Ichigo" etc rather than the other way around.**

 ** _Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Kubo Noriaki does. (Look it up.)_  
**

* * *

"Iiiiiiiii-chiiiiiiiiiiii-goooooo──!"

"Oi, Keigo."

The teen picked himself off of the floor, rubbing his smashed nose.

"Ow! What was that for?! I was trying to give you a friendly greeting! I was even going to ask you to come to the concert tonight. You never think about──"

"I'm busy," interrupted Ichigo, walking away.

"What?! I can't believe you won't even take time to──"

Ichigo ignored his apparently indefatigable friend and continued on his way, leaving the other to bemoan his sad, lonely fate in rather loud terms.

"Ichigo," came the much calmer voice of another friend. "Will you be at the concert tonight?"

"I'm busy tonight, Mizuiro," replied Ichigo, maintaining his scowl. "I've got a lot of homework."

"Ah, well then, I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Ichigo!"

Ichigo waved a hand disinterestedly as he walked away.

Once outside, walking down the sidewalks toward his home, Ichigo allowed his scowl to deepen, showing a bit of self-pity as well. Today had been especially hard. Twice, he'd seen Ishida run out of the school building, and once Chad had gone too. Even Orihime had been tense, though she'd hid it well. It was so hard not to be able to help them anymore, but it was even harder to know that he couldn't even sense when they were in danger.

After the fight with Aizen, his Shinigami powers had remained for a time. Eventually, however, as predicted, they had faded, until he was a normal human again. At first, he'd enjoyed the peace and quiet. Afterward, he'd simply accepted it. In time though, he'd come to hate not being able to help, especially at times like this when he knew that the Hollow count was unusually high. There was nothing he could do. He had to just sit back and watch. Except that he couldn't even watch.

Ichigo kicked at a pebble in his path. He never knew now whether his friends were fighting; whether they were in danger. He couldn't even sense the Hollows, let alone see them. That point was suddenly driven home quite forcefully when he was thrown to the ground by an invisible blow. With a cry, he struggled to get up, but a massive weight seemed to be holding him down, crushing him into the sidewalk.

"Damn it!" he gasped, knowing exactly what was happening. He couldn't sense a thing; he couldn't see or hear anything; but he knew what it was. Pressing his hands against the pavement, he pushed with all of his might. Slowly, the weight lifted a little, but before he could pull himself away from it, Ichigo felt something sharp like massive talons rip across his side. He cried out as the blood spurted out of the wounds and soaked through his shirt.

 _Where's Ishida or Chad when I need them?_ he thought, hating himself for even thinking that. _I have to get this thing off of me!_

Grabbing his book-bag in desperation, he swung it at what he assumed was the leg holding him. The bag made contact. It clearly didn't hurt the beast, but the weight lessened a little. Yanking himself from under it, Ichigo dashed forward.

 _No!_ he thought. _I can't outrun it. It'll just play with me before it kills me. What do I do?!_

Whether it was his instincts or just plain luck, Ichigo swerved to the side just as claw-marks appeared in the sidewalk where he had been running. From the distance between the gashes (about a foot each) as well as the weight and apparent size of the foot that had held him, he guessed it was a medium-sized Hollow, probably about twice his own height. _I have to defeat it,_ he thought. _I can't see it, but I can hurt it. I'm stronger than a Hollow this size._ Unfortunately, his vision was starting to grow blurry. He realized suddenly that he was still losing blood. Cursing again, he pressed his hand against one of the three, long claw-marks in his flesh. _Now what? I don't know where it is!_

Taking a wild guess, Ichigo spun around suddenly and leapt forward, swinging his fist with a loud cry. He missed.

The claws again ripped through him, connecting with his back this time. Ichigo was thrown to the ground, bleeding profusely now. _No!_ he hissed to himself. _I will not die to a low-level Hollow!_

It looked like he wasn't going to have a choice. He tried to lift himself again, but his legs were no longer responding. _Did it sever my spinal cord?!_ he wondered in horror.

Struggling against the paralysis, Ichigo tried to sharpen his senses, looking around for even the slightest movement of the air currents. He could imagine the Hollow standing over him, laughing at his helplessness as he lay, bleeding out on the sidewalk, unable to fight back. _I will not die like this!_ he told himself again.

Starting a short way in front of himself, Ichigo then saw claw-marks appearing in the pavement, moving toward him. He couldn't move. He couldn't get out of the way. It was going to kill him! There was nothing he could do.

Suddenly, something snatched hold of him and yanked him backward. Ichigo felt himself flying through the air, but it was only for a second. Then he was flying through absolute darkness. There was nothing there! Everything had vanished in a single flash, and he found himself surrounded by nothing.

He struck the floor of the nothingness painfully, uttering another cry, quickly suppressed. What was happening? He started to lift a hand, but then he felt something touching him. Instantly, he struck out at the object, and his fist made contact. He felt the being thrown away from himself. _Yes!_ he thought. _I can't see, but I can feel._

The feeling of exuberance was short-lived, however, when a strong hand with sharp claws took hold of his face. Again, he tried to strike the being. Again, his fist made contact with something, but whatever it was could have been made of stone for how hard it was. A sudden blow struck him at the base of the neck, and Ichigo lost consciousness.

* * *

As he gradually came to his senses, Ichigo groaned.

"Ah! Kurosaki-san!" cried a strangely familiar voice. "You're awake! Are you alright?"

Ichigo forced his eyes open and looked up into the face of a pitiful-looking Shinigami.

"Hanatarō?" he managed to ask, sure that he was in some bizarre dream.

"Ah! You're alright!" the other exclaimed, smiling broadly. "Please be careful, Kurosaki-san; your wounds aren't completely healed, but you can sit up now, if you like."

This, Ichigo did, cringing only slightly as he felt the soreness and stiffness all over himself. To his great relief, however, he found that he could again move his legs.

Looking around, Ichigo found himself even more confused. This wasn't Soul Society, but it didn't look like the World of the Living either. It was like a white expanse, or like many huge, white rooms, all mashed together. There were steps, cliffs, walls, and pits, all made from a shiny, white surface. Every corner was a perfect right angle, whether it went up, down, or to the side. (Clearly, the designer was OCD.) All over the place, there were stacks of semi-transparent cubes of varying sizes, all with a purple tint. There were great piles and small piles, and a few scattered around by themselves. (Okay, maybe the decorator wasn't OCD.) Apart from these cubes, however, there was nothing but himself and the short Shinigami.

"What . . . is this place?" asked Ichigo in wonder. "Am I dreaming?"

"It looks like that, doesn't it?" chuckled Hanatarō awkwardly. "I know that it's strange, but no, this isn't a dream. It's in a place outside of Soul Society."

"Outside of Soul Society?" repeated Ichigo. "You mean Rukongai?"

"No, not outside like that. I mean outside altogether. Outside . . . like how the Land of the Living is outside of it."

"You mean another world?"

"Yes, something like that, but it's a very small world. I don't think that half of the Seireitei would fit inside, it if was all flattened out."

"So, what are you doing here? Wait, how are you still alive? From what I heard, you never made it back from Hueco Mundo after the Winter War."

"Well . . . ." Hanatarō chuckled nervously. "I _did_ run into some trouble there. It seems . . . I think that they forgot me. I got separated from the other Shinigami, and I couldn't find them. I wandered around for days, but by the time I found where the battle had taken place, there was no one there. So . . . I think that I got left behind."

Ichigo didn't know what to say. He wasn't entirely surprised, but he knew that it would be rude to say so. Of all the people likely to be overlooked, Hanatarō stood prominently at the top of the list.

"So how did you come here?" asked Ichigo. "And where is here?"

"I'm not quite sure 'where' it is, except that it's outside of Soul Society and every other place I've ever been. And, as far as _how_ I got here, well . . . ."

He trailed off, turning to look over his shoulder, and lifted his eyes high above them. Following his gaze, Ichigo felt that his eyes would pop out of his skull.

There, on a high, white ledge, staring down at them silently, was a thin, black and white figure. Sharp clawed feet marked the ends of black-furred legs which led up to a pure white torso, in the middle of which was a Hollow hole, from which a thick, black liquid appeared to be oozing. The white arms turned to black fur also just above the elbows, ending themselves in strong hands with long, demonic claws. Behind the alabaster shoulders could be seen massive bat-like wings, half-folded but still impressive in their size. All of this, however, was ignored by Ichigo as he stared into the empty, emotionless yellow and green eyes.

"Ulquiorra," he breathed.

* * *

It could have been an hour that he stood there, staring at the silent figure above him, or it could have been only a few seconds; all of the emotions that had passed through Ichigo's brain made it difficult to tell, seeing that there were so many, and yet they moved so quickly. First was fear: here was the powerful Espada whom Ichigo had slain in cold blood, and now Ichigo himself had no way to defend himself, even against a minor hollow. Next came disbelief; after all, this Espada had died, vanishing into dust before his eyes. There was no way that he could still be here. Then came horror: if Ulquiorra had been killed and was here, and if Ichigo was also here, then Ichigo must have been killed as well. Then came confusion: this wasn't Soul Society, and it wasn't Hell, so they couldn't be dead. Was it a dream? Wait. Why was Hanatarō here?

Ichigo was so completely absorbed in his own thoughts that he scarcely heard the voice of the little Shinigami at his side.

"Kurosaki-san? Kurosaki-san?" Hanatarō's voice finally broke into his thoughts.

"Eh?" muttered Ichigo, turning back to him. "H-H-Hanatarō . . . what's _he_ doing here?"

"Ulquiorra-sama is the one who brought me here," replied Hanatarō. "I was attacked by a group of Hollows in Hueco Mundo, and Ulquiorra-sama rescued me, just like he did with you."

"Ul . . . quiorra . . . _**sama**_?" repeated Ichigo in disbelief. "You── Wait, he brought _**me**_ here?! How?"

Ichigo looked from the Shinigami to the Hollow and back as he asked this, but Ulquiorra still gave no indication that he wished to converse with him. He continued to watch them silently, sitting with one leg drawn up, one arm resting on his knee, and his tail hanging down the wall, the tufted end twitching from time to time like a cat's.

"It was by means of these," explained Hanatarō, indicating one of the lavender cubes. "These show the other worlds." He rubbed his hand over one face of the box, and the interior lit, revealing a scene of a field. "You can see what's happening in the Land of the Living, and in Hueco Mundo, and in many other places. Only," he trailed off, sounding sad. "It seems that there are none that can see Soul Society. That's why I'm still here."

"Huh?" asked Ichigo, confused. "Can't you go to Earth and get back from there?"

"I don't have a Hell Butterfly. If I go to the Land of the Living like this, I'll be accused of desertion. I . . . I'm stuck here now."

"So, how does this work?" Ichigo rubbed his own hand over the box, but the picture vanished. "Huh?"

"Here," pointed Hanatarō, walking to another pile of cubes. "These show the area around Karakura Town." He lifted one, activating the view.

Looking over the other's shoulder, Ichigo could see the street that ran behind his own high school.

"So, you can see anything from here?"

"Almost. Look." As Hanatarō moved the cube, Ichigo was surprised to see the view move also, displaying more or less of the street, and moving to other nearby places.

"Ah!" exclaimed Hanatarō suddenly. "A Hollow! Ulquiorra-sama!"

Ichigo started, looking up at the Espada above him, but the latter still didn't move.

"It's attacking a human soul," cried Hanatarō. "Please! It──" Suddenly, he gasped. "Oh," he said calmly, then chuckled in embarrassment. "Never-mind."

Ichigo was again looking over his shoulder, and he saw Chad enter the view, attack the Hollow and overcome it. He turned then to the soul of the little boy, offering him comfort. It wasn't long before the local Shinigami ( _I never can remember that guy's name_ , thought Ichigo) likewise entered the view. Ichigo saw that they were preparing the Konsō, then he started back in shock himself.

"Wait!" he exclaimed. "I can see them! I saw the Hollow! I──" He spun around, staring up at Ulquiorra again. "I can see you!"

"Ulquiorra-sama gave you a little of his reiatsu," smiled Hanatarō. "When you first came, you couldn't see us. You . . . well . . . ."

"You attacked the Shinigami," came the emotionless voice from above, finally breaking his silence.

"You . . . ." Ichigo stared at him in horror. "I . . . I have . . . _your_ reiatsu in me?"

"I will withdraw it before sending you back to your world," replied the other calmly. With that, he slipped forward, dropping silently to the level on which the other two stood. "It would seem that you are sufficiently healed to return now."

"Wait! You still haven't explained what's going on! How are you still alive?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes!"

Ulquiorra simply looked at him in silence, but Ichigo wouldn't back down.

"Seriously, what happened to you?" asked Ichigo. "How are you alive? How did you get here? Where is here? And what the heck is _he_ doing here with _you_?!"

For a long moment, Ulquiorra continued to regard him silently.

"You're not going to answer?" asked Ichigo.

"How did you lose your own reiatsu?" asked Ulquiorra abruptly.

Ichigo blinked. "What?"

"If you will answer my question, then I will answer yours," replied Ulquiorra calmly. "How did you, Kurosaki Ichigo, lose your reiatsu entirely?"

Ichigo sighed and lowered his gaze. "I guess it's pretty obvious, isn't it?"

"It is obvious that it is gone," affirmed Ulquiorra. "You would have been killed by a minor Hollow. Knowing that you were able to defeat even me not long ago, it is only natural that I should want to know what has happened to you."

"I . . . I lost my powers as a result of my fight with Aizen," replied Ichigo, still looking at the floor. "To be honest, I don't think I've fully come to grips with it yet."

"Did you defeat him?"

"Yes."

"I see."

Both were quiet for a time. Looking up then, Ichigo gave a forced grin.

"Okay, so I answered your question; now you answer mine: how are you still alive, and what is this place?"

"Those are two separate questions."

"Yeah, well, I just answered two, so, what gives?"

"I do not know how I am alive," answered Ulquiorra calmly. "I can only assume that my body rebuilt itself because my soul was left intact."

"Huh?" asked Ichigo, thoroughly confused.

"Had you slain me with your Zanpakutō, my soul would have been purged and sent to the next world. Had your Hollow form consumed me, as would most Hollows, my soul would have merged with yours. Had the Quincy slain me, my soul would have ceased to be. None of these things happened. My soul was simply left as it was, but with no form. I can only assume that my regenerative abilities, over a significant period of time, were able to reform this body, even though it had been destroyed. I had not thought it possible. Even now, I do not know whether that is the case. It is, however, the most probable supposition."

"So . . . the only reason you're still alive is because I didn't kill you when you asked."

"I do not know, but I believe so."

At that, Ichigo grinned broadly. "So you owe me your life."

"I asked you to take my life, if you recall."

"Yeah, but I didn't."

"I owe you nothing."

"I didn't kill you, so the only reason you're alive is because of me."

Ichigo continued to grin smugly as the Arrancar eyed him emotionlessly. Interrupting the silent stares came the hesitant voice of a small Shinigami.

"Um, Kurosaki-san," stuttered Hanatarō. "Ulquiorra-sama saved your life too, when that Hollow was going to kill you. So, if you did save his life, then I would say that he has already repaid you."

Ichigo's grin faded. In its place came a frown.

"Well . . ." he muttered. "Why did you do that anyway?"

"I had my own reasons," replied Ulquiorra, turning away from him.

"Hey! I get to ask another question!"

"You asked what this place is," Ulquiorra spoke over his shoulder as he walked away. "The Shinigami may answer that question. Then I will send you back to your home."

Ichigo watched him go. The Espada was different. He couldn't quite identify it, but somehow he was different. The way that he walked; the way that he moved. Even the look in his eyes was different. What was it? Ichigo had never been good with people, so it was often hard for him to tell what others were thinking. Inoue had talked about her Hollow guard: how he was always silent, morose, and unfeeling. Even so, he just seemed . . . off somehow.

When he came back to the present, Ichigo realized that Hanatarō had already begun the explanation of the place in which they were. He had missed the beginning, but he didn't want to offend the little Shinigami by telling him that he hadn't been paying attention. Instead, he just tried to piece together the story from what came next.

It seemed that this was a sort of different dimension, designed and maintained by some unknown person who must have abandoned it at some time. Ulquiorra had come here, also through some unknown method (unless that was the part that he missed), and it was he who had brought Hanatarō as well. Hanatarō explained that the lavender cubes were not viewports; they were actually gateways. Ulquiorra had the ability to open a path through them to whatever one could see on the other side. (Ichigo, remembering the other's ability to open the Garganta at will to and from wherever he liked, believed this.) He had originally brought Hanatarō here to learn what had become of Aizen and his army. Unfortunately, Hanatarō had known only about what had happened in Hueco Mundo; he hadn't learned the fate of Aizen himself. Finding that he couldn't get back to Soul Society from here, Ulquiorra had offered to send him to the Land of the Living. Hanatarō, afraid of the punishment he would likely receive for being in the Land of the Living without permission, without a gigai, without a Hell Butterfly, and without the ability to open the Senkaimon, had opted to remain here for the time being. Ulquiorra had been indifferent to this and had allowed it.

As he came to understand the cubes, Hanatarō had begun watching the Land of the Living with interest. When he found a soul being attacked by a Hollow, he had asked Ulquiorra to help by retrieving the soul, much as he had done with Hanatarō. At first, Ulquiorra had ignored the request. When it was repeated each time there was a Hollow attack, the Espada had finally relented and had assisted. Hanatarō had healed the injured soul and used his own Zanpakutō to perform the Konsō, after calming the other.

This had eventually developed into a sort of routine. Ulquiorra would sit silently by himself, never speaking to Hanatarō, never interested in what was happening in the Land of the Living. Hanatarō would be always watching, always on the lookout for those who needed help. When one was found, he would call Ulquiorra, and the latter would (usually) come and bring the soul through the gateway.

It was a strange sort of partnership between the Hollow and the Shinigami. Ichigo admitted to some confusion. Why was Ulquiorra doing this? Hanatarō answered that he wasn't sure of Ulquiorra-sama's motives, but he was happy that he himself was able to help in his own small way.

"You should come back with me," said Ichigo, after Hanatarō had finished the explanation. "Urahara-san could fix things. Besides, anyone who knows you would believe your story; no one could think you'd be a deserter."

"I've heard of Urahara-san," nodded Hanatarō hesitantly. "The Gotei 13 always said that he was a traitor. They said that he was the former captain of squad 12, before Kurotsuchi-Taichou. I . . . I think that that sounds frightening."

"He's nothing like that freak!" exclaimed Ichigo. "No worries there."

Hanatarō simply chuckled nervously. "It's alright, really, Kurosaki-san. I'm happy to stay here. I can help souls, just like the other Shinigami who are assigned to the Land of the Living."

"Yeah, but for how long? You know, it might seem nice to help people, but the longer you stay, the worse it'll be when you go back, right?" Ichigo turned to look up at Ulquiorra who had returned to his perch, high above them. "What about you? How long are you going to stay here?"

The Espada didn't answer.

"You having fun playing God?" taunted Ichigo. "Sitting up there on your throne, watching over the world, and jumping in wherever you feel like it?"

"Kurosaki-san!" exclaimed Hanatarō in horror. "Ulquiorra-sama isn't doing that! He helps when I ask him to help. He's not trying to──"

"I have no need for you to defend me, Shinigami," came the cold voice of the Arrancar.

"Oh! Forgive me! I'm very sorry!" exclaimed Hanatarō, offering a quick, humble bow.

Ichigo was about to interject, but he saw Ulquiorra's eyes close as the other seemed to emit a quiet sigh. Confusion gave way to a smirk on Ichigo's face.

 _So, he's not playing God,_ he thought. _Looks like he doesn't even care for the "worship" of his single follower. But why is he leaving Hanatar_ _ō_ _alive in the first place? Well, apart from the fact that only a heartless monster would kill someone so pitiful. Wait, isn't that what a Hollow is? What is so different about him? It's driving me crazy!_

"Ulquiorra," called Ichigo, feeling that he was crazy for saying what he was about to say, but deciding that this was the kind of crazy he needed after the last few months of maddeningly monotonous normalcy. "You should come too. Both of you. Take a vacation, and come to Karakura Town for a while."

As expected, there was absolutely no reaction from the Espada. He continued to sit, staring down at the former substitute Shinigami without a word.

"I know that I couldn't fight you," grinned Ichigo, deciding to push this, "but Ishida might want a rematch. Inoue healed his hand, by the way, so that handicap wouldn't be there. Hey, Inoue might even want to see you. She talks about Hueco Mundo sometimes; she says you were the only Espada who was actually nice to her."

"She is a fool," replied Ulquiorra. "I was not 'nice.'"

"Okay, well, tell her, not me. Come on; what have you got to lose?"

Ulquiorra stared at him for a brief moment longer then dropped to their level again. Walking past them, he lifted a certain cube, activated the scene within, and manipulated the view. A single swipe by his clawed hand traced a jagged crack across the cube, through which the scene could be seen in greater clarity. Looking at it, Ichigo realized that it was a view inside his own bedroom.

"Hey!" he exclaimed. "You have one that looks into _my room_?!"

"It's not quite like that," said Hanatarō. "The view has to be very focused to see something so closely. Any of these can do that, but usually──"

He cut off as Ulquiorra suddenly reached forward and took hold of Ichigo by the face. Ichigo gasped and started to fight back, but the Espada simply looked at him calmly.

"Goodbye, Kurosaki," he stated tonelessly.

Almost immediately, all sight and sound faded as the small amount of spiritual energy that he had been lent was sucked from him. Ichigo found himself again surrounded by nothing. He could still feel the clawed hand on his face, however, so he grasped at the wrist, meaning to yell at the Espada as soon as the latter let go enough for him to be able to speak clearly.

He wasn't given that option.

The hand snapped to the side and thrust him forward suddenly, and Ichigo found himself falling through space. Instantly, he was in familiar surroundings: he was in his own room.

"Ulquiorra!" he shouted, leaping to his feet. He looked around himself, but there was no indication of a gateway through which he'd just come. "Ulquiorra! I know you can hear me! Or . . . you can _see_ me! I'm not through talking to you! Oy!"

There was no response.

* * *

 **A/N** **: Seriously, if you haven't already, go watch or re-watch the** _ **Shinigami Illustrated Guide**_ **after episode 288. That's what gave me the inspiration for about half of this chapter. Poor, darling Hanatar** **ō** **!**


	2. The Emptiness of Despair

_**Chapter 2  
**_

 **The Emptiness of Despair**

* * *

 _Reminiscences of the Cuarta Espada:_

 _When I had felt my mind returning from the darkness, only one question had come to me: "Why?" My soul had been swallowed by the nothingness that I had craved for all of my remembered existence. The peace, the joy that comes from the absolute void had taken me. I had sunken into oblivion. I had become one with the emptiness. But then it had cast me out._

 _Why?_

 _I sought nothing. I desired nothing. My purpose was nothing. Why would not the void accept me? How could I be rejected by that which made up the essence of my existence? It defied all logic and understanding. This was not how it was meant to be._

 _In silence, I cried from the depth of my soul for answers. I could yet see nothing, hear nothing, and feel nothing, but I knew somehow that I was being cast from the Nirvana which I had sought. I watched as my body was slowly reformed; I felt as my senses returned; I struggled with the pain of questions to which I had no answers as my consciousness gradually strengthened. Fully formed once more, I extended my claws to the void as it drew back from me. I demanded an answer._

 _Why?_

 _Tell me. What must I do? The emptiness of the void is all I ask; why have I been refused it? What had I done to be rejected at the last? Give me the nothingness that I crave! Take me; swallow me into it! Do not cast me back into the world of questions with no answers, irrationality with no logic. Allow me to embrace that which causes no pain, no confusion, and no despair. Pure emptiness: nothing. Tell me why I am denied this wish._

 _Why? Tell me why._

 _..._

 _But no answer came. Silence replied. Nothing._

 _..._

 _How ironic._

* * *

Ulquiorra sat on his customary ledge, looking down at the wide, white spaces below him filled with the gateways to more places than he cared to count. A thousand worlds were within his grasp, but he ignored them all. They held no interest for him. Not now. "A mock-god," Kurosaki had called him, seeing that he chose to sit so high above everything. Foolish human. He could not understand. Ulquiorra cared not whether he was above or below, so long as he was separate. He wanted nothing to do with anything around himself. He wanted to be alone. He wanted quiet, peace, solitude.

The little Shinigami who now moved about busily beneath him had been a mistake, and Ulquiorra was not sure himself why he continued to endure the other's presence. When the Espada had found himself moving through dimensions as his body reunited with his soul, this space was the one in which he had chosen to remain. He had searched the other dimensions from here, striving to find answers, to find his enemies, and to find his master. But Soul Society was outside of their view. Hell was outside of their view. Aizen-sama was outside of their view. Where was he?

For so long, Ulquiorra had existed to do the bidding of Aizen-sama. In the beginning, he had obeyed because Aizen was strong. To disobey would have been foolish, so why should he not obey? In time, he had obeyed because it was habit. There was no reason to do ought else, so why should he cease to obey? Now that Aizen was beyond his reach, outside of his knowledge, he saw that Aizen had given him more than just power to do his bidding; Aizen had given him purpose: a reason to live. Without the Shinigami leader, what was he? He was nothing.

But the void had rejected him.

Aizen had abandoned him, whether by choice or by fate.

There was nothing left, and yet even the nothingness that he sought in this world gave him no comfort.

Why?

It was mere chance, so Ulquiorra believed, that he had seen the little Shinigami in the sands of Hueco Mundo, surrounded by grinning Hollows. It was capricious whim that caused him to reach through the dimensional portal and to draw the pathetic being into this realm he now called his dwelling ─ never again, he swore, would he call any place "home." It was, he told himself, a desire for knowledge that caused him to wait, allowing the Shinigami to regain his senses, allowing him to recover a bit from his overwhelming terror at the sight of Ulquiorra himself, before demanding to know the fate of Aizen-sama.

The Shinigami had not known. He knew little more than Ulquiorra did himself. Both knew that Aizen had been bound for Karakura town. But that was now weeks earlier. Ulquiorra had seen Karakura town through the cubes, and he had seen that it was undamaged. Had Aizen been so stymied that he could not wreak the smallest amount of destruction? Or had the humans been so swift as to repair everything in such a short time?

Where was Aizen?

Clearly, from the careless nature of the few Shinigami whom he saw stationed in the Land of the Living, Aizen was not ruling in the Soul Society. Clearly, from the chaos and disorder that he saw in Hueco Mundo, Aizen was not there either.

As he sat on his high ledge, as far from the "worlds" within this world as he could go, Ulquiorra realized that he actually hoped that Aizen-sama was gone. It's true that Aizen had given him purpose; Aizen had given him power; Aizen had affirmed his existence. But Ulquiorra did not want any of this. He wanted nothing. He craved _nothing_. Why could he not acquire what he sought? And why, when he would sink at times into the nothingness which he created in his own mind, did it no longer offer him comfort? Why?

For days, then weeks, then months, he watched the little Shinigami beneath him, scurrying from one view to another, ever watching for those whom he could help. Ulquiorra had responded wearily to the pleas for help as the little being begged him to assist every lost soul. At first, the Shinigami had irked him, and he had ignored the other's pleading. But then, when the other didn't give up, he found himself curious. He and this one were similar: they had both been abandoned. Neither would return to their home. They were both alone. And yet...

The little one still had purpose.

 _Fool_ , thought Ulquiorra. _Does he not realize that striving will leave only pain and despair as failure inevitably arises? In strength? There will always be one stronger. In helping? There will always be those who cannot be helped. In building? It will always be destroyed. In destruction? It will always be rebuilt. There is no purpose. There is no worth. All is meaningless. He should accept that._

Ulquiorra never voiced these thoughts aloud. He never spoke at all now. He had told the Shinigami his name when he had asked the fate of Aizen, and the other seemed now to think that that gave him the right to request boons of him.

Ulquiorra- _sama_. The designation was meaningless to him. What did he care what he was called? Ulquiorra Cifer was his name. That was what he should be called; that and nothing else. Even that, however, was not worth the effort of saying to his small companion. What difference did it make anyway?

"Kurosaki-san!" he heard the Shinigami gasp one day.

His ears twitched.

"He's ... he's being attacked by a minor Hollow. But he isn't fighting!"

Ulquiorra opened his eyes and looked down at the Shinigami, wondering what he might mean.

"It's like he can't see it. It's going to kill him! Ulquiorra-sama!" The forlorn face turned toward him, the familiar pleading in his eyes. "There isn't anyone near him, and he can't get away from it! Please!" Turning back to the view, he gasped. "No! Run, Kurosaki-san!"

Ulquiorra was torn as unpleasantly familiar emotions threatened to reenter his mind. He found himself wanting to rip open the portal and attack Kurosaki himself. After all, wasn't it that boy's fault that he was here like this? Why had he not finished their fight as Ulquiorra had asked? If he could no longer defend himself against a minor Hollow, then Ulquiorra would simply crush him with one hand, showing him no mercy: the way of the Hollow. Kurosaki should be made to understand that.

On the other hand, Ulquiorra had no desire to reopen his past. There was nothing there but pain and regret. For what had he striven for so long under the command of Aizen-sama? The glorious new world that had faded as footprints in the sand? Power that was completely overshadowed by a human boy with a Hollow transformation? Peace and tranquility that was broken by every being with whom Aizen had chosen to surround himself?

The past was best forgotten. Aizen-sama was gone. To revisit it, even for the sake of revenge, was pointless. It would change nothing.

Even so, the thought of Aizen gave Ulquiorra pause and finally caused him to drop to the floor and to take the cube from the little Shinigami. Was Aizen truly gone? Or was it possible that he had survived? If anyone would know, it would be Kurosaki Ichigo.

After all, there was only one thing Ulquiorra wanted more than to be left alone: he wanted answers.

* * *

 **A/N:** **To** _ **Meladi1**_ **: It is implied in the after-credits scene of ep. 288 of the anime that Hanatar** **ō** **was lost and separated from the other Shinigami while in Hueco Mundo and that they forgot about him, so I didn't make up that part. He is, however, seen returning to the Seireitei with the rest of them in episode 310, so, yes, I did make that up the part about him ultimately being left behind.**


	3. Convincing Takes Work

_**Chapter 3**_

 **Convincing Takes Work**

* * *

Ichigo knew that he might be taking his own life into his hands, but he was so bored that he was willing to try. Besides, he believed that he had finally figured out what it was that had struck him as different about the Arrancar. So it was that the afternoon after his return from the gateway world, he came straight home from school, already having decided what he would do. Back in his own room, he found a large piece of poster-board, and, in bold letters, he wrote, _"Hanatarō_ _: tell Ul-Sama that I want to talk to him."_ This done, he hung it prominently over his bed and waited.

For three days, he waited.

On the third day, he took down the poster with a sigh, turned it around, and wrote a new message: _"Cipher: I figured out what's bothering you."_

This produced a reaction. When he arrived home from school the next day, Ichigo found that the corner of the poster-board on which he'd written the Espada's first name in so casual and informal a manner had been slashed. The rest was still intact, but that small bit of destruction assured Ichigo that the intended recipient had gotten the message. He grinned in triumph.

Taking down the poster, he put up a new one in the same place.

 _"C: I know why you want to be left alone."_

Again, the next day, he found evidence of someone having been there, but only by scratches in the poster-board. This time, however, they spelt words.

 _"Then leave me alone."_

Having no more poster-board at hand and wanting to leave that one there rather than turn it around, Ichigo took a sheet of notebook paper and taped it under the scratched words.

 _"Let's talk."_

Again, the answer awaited him after school the next day:

 _"No."_

Again, Ichigo taped up his response. Each day, for almost a week, this continued, until the conversation could be read, snaking around the headboard of his bed:

 _"Just for a few minutes."_

 _"No."_

 _"You can bring me there again."_

 _"No."_

 _"I'll post your name all over my house. No honorifics."_

 _"I'll kill you."_

 _"I don't believe you."_

 _"Try me."_

 _"You're just proving my point."_

After the last challenge, there was no response. Ichigo gave it an extra day, but there was nothing. He couldn't help but grin at that. After all, Ulquiorra would have to respond with a question, asking what Ichigo's point would be. He knew that the Espada wouldn't do that. Of course, it was possible that he guessed Ichigo's point and just wouldn't admit it.

Yes, Ichigo knew now what it was that was different about the Arrancar. It had taken a little thought in the beginning, but he was sure now. When he'd looked full in Ulquiorra's face, he'd seen there the same expression that Ichigo himself saw every day in the mirror: the look of someone with no purpose.

For how many years had Ulquiorra served Aizen blindly? Anyone who had ever met the Cuarta Espada would have said that he lived for one goal and one alone: to serve Aizen. Had it been ten years? Twenty? Fifty? Aizen had been planning his overthrow of Soul Society for well over a century. He had begun his experiments on his fellow Shinigami over a hundred years earlier. When had he begun experimenting on Hollows? Had it been even earlier? Ichigo wondered whether Ulquiorra could even remember a time before Aizen.

And now Aizen was gone.

Strange as it may seem, Ichigo felt a bizarre sort of comradery with this abandoned warrior: they had both lost everything.

Well, not quite. Ulquiorra had lost his comrades but retained his powers. Ichigo had lost his powers but retained his friends. Given the choice, Ichigo wouldn't switch places. Even so, both had suffered loss. Both had lost what had been their primary purpose in life.

It was this thought that drove Ichigo to make his next move.

* * *

"Inoue, may I ask you something that might be . . . painful?" asked Ichigo.

Orihime looked at him in surprise. It wasn't like Kurosaki-kun to be so serious around her. Of course, he was generally frowning around the rest of his classmates, but he was usually happy when with his close circle of friends. Also, no matter who was near him, he always seemed so sure of himself, even if he had lost his Shinigami powers. To see him acting so distinctly ill-at-ease made her nervous.

Of course, he hadn't said that he wanted to ask her something 'uncomfortable;' that would have made her blush, having no idea what it could be. Well, she might _guess_ what it would be in that case, and she could certainly _hope_ what it might be, but she wouldn't want to think that that would be what it was. Orihime felt a blush rising to her cheeks just thinking about the possibility of him suggesting the possibility that he might ask something like that.

"Inoue?" came Kurosaki's voice, breaking through the tumultuous rush that formed Orihime's typical thought pattern.

"Oh!" she exclaimed. "Yes, Kurosaki-kun. You wanted to ask me something?"

"Are . . . are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine!" she exclaimed with a wide smile, quickly fanning her face to diminish the blush, if possible. "What did you want to ask me?"

"Do you remember that Espada who took care of you in Hueco Mundo?" he asked abruptly, as if he didn't want to lose his confidence.

Orihime blinked in surprise. "You mean Ulquiorra-san?" she asked.

"Yes," nodded Ichigo. "Him."

Orihime again blinked at him in surprise. "Um, yes, I remember him." She frowned in mild confusion. "Why?"

"I guess, I just wondered," he hesitated, scratching his head. "If you could talk to him again, that is, if he was, um, still alive, uh, then . . . ."

"It wasn't your fault," murmured Orihime, thinking now that she understood what he was saying.

Ichigo turned to look at her in surprise, but Orihime kept her eyes on the sidewalk.

"It was my fault."

"What?" asked Ichigo. "What do you mean? What was your fault?"

"What happened." Orihime pushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear, still not looking at him. "When you turned into that . . . that monster . . . and killed him. I know that you wouldn't have done what you did, if it had been you. You wouldn't have killed him . . . like that. But what you became . . . it was my fault for calling for you. It wasn't──"

"Inoue!" exclaimed Ichigo. "No! That's not what I meant at all!" He stopped walking, turning to look at her full in the face. "It wasn't your fault either. No one was to blame for that but me. Please, Inoue, I had no idea that you felt like this!"

"Oh, it's alright, Kurosaki-kun," exclaimed Orihime with another forced smile, waving her arms nervously. "It's all over now, and it doesn't matter anymore. Please, don't worry about me!"

Ichigo didn't answer, but he still looked at her seriously, as if he wasn't sure whether to believe her when she said it was alright. Orihime simply turned away and continued walking, nervous under his gaze. Why had he brought that up? She hadn't thought about all of that in months, other than a few times when she was lying alone in bed at night. It was so painful! After all, she knew that she was the reason that Kurosaki-kun had turned into a monster. Yes, it had enabled him to win the fight, but it was almost at the cost of his own humanity. In the end, after he came to his senses, she was happy that he hadn't struck down Ulquiorra in cold blood, even when the other had asked him to do so. She knew that her Espada guard had had to be defeated in order for them to leave, but she was glad that Kurosaki hadn't known what he was doing when he had mortally wounded him. If he had, she wasn't sure that she could still look at him.

"Inoue," began Ichigo again, hesitantly. "If you could talk to Ulquiorra again, would you want to?"

Again, Orihime didn't answer right away. Into her mind flooded so many memories. She remembered a cold, unfeeling voice that told her to follow him, unless she wanted to watch her friends die. She remembered an empty presence, visiting her each day to bring her food, occasionally accompanied by cruel threats. She remembered deep, emerald eyes, looking at her with a strong desire simply to understand what made her what she was: asking her about her emotions, her friends, her . . . heart. Finally, she remembered the pure white hand, disintegrating into dust as she reached for it, and the simple words, "I see." She bit her lip.

"Yes," she nodded. "Yes, I would."

To her surprise, Ichigo suddenly caught hold of her hand, dragging her forward with a smile.

"Come on!" he exclaimed, grinning back at her as he led her quickly down the street.

* * *

As they entered Kurosaki's bedroom, Orihime again felt a blush rise to her cheeks. Ichigo, however, seemed completely oblivious to her discomfort. He stepped to his bed and pulled down a sheet of poster-board that had been hanging over it. He then quickly ripped down a few sheets of notebook paper that had been likewise taped to the wall. Orihime had seen that there was writing on them, but she hadn't had time to catch what they said. The papers were immediately crumpled and tossed onto the desk, while the poster-board remained in his hand. Catching up a pen, he turned to Orihime and plopped down on the floor, laying the large, white sheet between them, blank side upward.

"Here," he grinned, extending the pen to her. "Would you write it?"

Orihime just looked at him, confused.

"Write what?" she asked.

"What you'd want to say to Ulquiorra."

"I . . . what?"

"Oh, I-I mean," he stammered, looking suddenly uncomfortable. "That is, if it's something, um, that's, uh, okay for me to read. I mean──"

"Oh!" exclaimed Orihime, horrified at what he might be thinking. "No! I don't mind." Of course she couldn't have Kurosaki-kun thinking that she'd want to say something like _that_ to her former guard. Quickly she caught the pen and dropped to the floor before the board, determined to set his mind at ease immediately. Then she paused. What had she wanted to say?

"Hmm," considered Orihime, pressing the pen to her lips. There were just _so many_ things that she'd want to say, if she could. How could she choose? Finally, taking a breath, she began writing.

 _"Ulquiorra-kun,"_ she wrote. _"I'm sorry I couldn't show you what a heart was. I hope that you understood, there at the end. I wish I could ask you: when you said, 'I see,' did you mean that you understood?"_ She paused momentarily, gnawing on the pen in thought. _"I'm sorry I couldn't take your hand at the end either. If I had been quicker, then maybe_ _"_

"What are you doing?" came a toneless voice from behind her, interrupting her writing.

* * *

Walking down the sidewalk, heading in the general direction of the park, Ishida turned over his schedule in his mind. There wasn't anything out of the ordinary to consider: there was school tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after. Thursday afternoon he had set aside for archery practice, and the following Monday afternoon as well. He had a bit of extra homework that would need to be completed, and he had determined to do half of it tonight and the remaining half tomorrow. Of course, if there was to be a significant Hollow attack this week, he'd find himself with even more homework, but that was why he had left three hours open in his Saturday schedule.

It was comforting to have everything neatly organized. Even for unexpected events he was adequately prepared with his various contingency plans. Nothing could frustrate the equanimity in which he lived, or at least not for long.

Glancing at his watch, he saw that he had twenty minutes before he needed to be back home. He mustn't be late, or else he wouldn't have time to accomplish his self-assigned duties tonight, but he refused to be early, knowing that Ryūken would be home this evening. He would spend no more time in that man's presence than was necessary. Knowing his father's schedule well in advance, he could plan his occasional "refresher" walks ─ times where he would stroll through the less crowded sections of Karakura town and simply enjoy the fresh air and sunshine, thereby refreshing both his body and spirit ─ for such evenings as might otherwise require him to be in his father's presence longer than should be necessary. Tonight was one of those nights.

Again, he glanced at his watch. Fifteen minutes now. He took a deep breath, feeling that the walk was accomplishing its purpose. He was feeling calmer, more refreshed. Today had been a moderately quiet day, on the whole. No Hollow attacks; no significant distractions at school; no unexpected events at all. It was only the thought of seeing Ryūken at home that could agitate him, and he wouldn't allow it to do so. He even resisted the urge to look at his watch again, informing himself that it had surely been only three minutes since he had last done so. Sneaking a quick glance, he felt a smirk curve his lips; his sense of time was as accurate as ever.

As abruptly as a blow to the stomach, Uryū stopped and nearly staggered. The reiatsu that he suddenly sensed was like nothing he had felt in months. This wasn't a Hollow! It . . . it was an Arrancar!

Turning to look in the direction from which he felt the presence, he tried to convince himself that he was imagining things. It couldn't be! The Arrancar had all been destroyed! The Quincy's exceptional spiritual sense, however, told him otherwise. There was an Arrancar still alive, and it was here in Karakura town.

All thoughts of schedule, father, and walks left him as he turned and dashed down the street in the direction of the fearsome reiatsu.

* * *

The pen had fallen, forgotten, from Orihime's numb hand as she stared into the calm, green eyes of her one-time guard. He stood exactly as she had remembered him: posture erect, hands in his pockets, a calm, almost bored expression in his deep eyes. The horned half-helmet covered the left side of his black-haired head, and the familiar green markings traced their way down either side of his face. His question too had been simple, just like what she would have expected from him: asking for information, and yet almost disapproving at the same time.

"What are you doing?"

For a long moment, Orihime could do nothing but gape at him. Was he real? How?

"Ul . . .qui . . . orra," she breathed.

"What?!" exclaimed Ichigo. "He's here? Ulquiorra, are you here?!"

The Espada's gaze never left Orihime, and she seemed not even to notice the agitation of the only other human in the room as she stared into the endless expanse that was his eyes. He was alive! He was here!

"Seriously!" continued Ichigo, starting to his feet and glaring in the direction he saw Orihime looking. "You flat-out refuse to speak even a word to me for almost two weeks, and now you're showing up to talk to her, and she hasn't even finished her message? What's with that?!"

Finally able to tear away her gaze, Orihime turned to Ichigo in shock.

"Kurosaki-kun," she gasped. "You . . . you _knew_?"

"I wasn't going to tell you yet, but, yeah, I knew," replied Ichigo.

"How?"

"Well," he looked up at where he assumed the Espada to be standing, "you want to answer that?"

Orihime looked back at Ulquiorra, but the latter still refused to acknowledge the former substitute Shinigami.

"Are . . . are you going to answer him?" she asked hesitantly.

"He can neither see nor hear me," replied the Hollow calmly. "There is no reason for me to speak to him."

Orihime blinked. "But . . . how . . . ?" She shook her head as if trying to clear her thoughts. "I don't understand! What's going on?!"

"You were composing a message to me. Did you not intend for me to receive it?"

"I thought you were dead! I . . . I . . . ." Orihime paused. "I don't know," she whimpered. "I'm confused. I don't know what to think now."

Ulquiorra continued to look at her in silence. At last, Orihime rose to her feet.

"How?" she asked softly.

The Espada didn't answer. He merely returned her gaze calmly.

As the initial shock began to wear away, Orihime again felt emotions flood her being. The guilt, the pity, the longing to help, the pain of watching him die alone; everything washed over her afresh. Here he was! She could say everything that she had wanted to say and had started to write. And yet . . . seeing him here now, looking so perfectly normal, she felt that it would be very awkward to try to say any of it. She licked her lips, trying to decide what to say.

"You?!" came a sudden ejaculation from the other side of the room.

Turning, Orihime and Ichigo were both surprised to see their Quincy friend, crouched on the frame of the open window.

"Get away from Inoue-san!" he hissed. "Have you come to take her again?"

"And if I have?" came the quiet but firm reply. "You attempted to stop me once, in case you've forgotten."

"Damn you!" hissed Uryū. His hand twitched, obviously wanted to form his Quincy bow, but he knew that Ulquiorra could simply remove his limb once more if he so much as tried.

"Hey, it's okay, Ishida," waved Ichigo calmly. "He's not here for anything like that."

"Kurosaki!" gasped Uryū. "You can see him?!"

"Uh, no, um, I can't," admitted Ichigo, looking a little uncomfortable. "But I had a talk with him week-before-last, and he's here because I asked him to come. At least, I think so."

"Ichigo!" Another friend burst into the room suddenly, this one coming through the door, rather than the window. At sight of the Espada, the tall, muscular boy froze.

"Oy," Ichigo greeted him. "It's okay, Chad. No danger this time."

The three humans who still retained their spiritual powers looked at Ichigo in shock and wonder, then looked at each other in confusion, then turned to look again at Ulquiorra, still standing calmly in their midst, hands in his pockets, not moving. None seemed to know what to say. Or do.

"Ulquiorra," came Ichigo's voice, breaking the awkward silence. "You didn't give me a chance to say it last time, so I'll say it now." He stepped forward, his face serious now, until he was standing just in front of where he assumed (from the angles of their glances) that the Espada was standing. "Aizen's gone," he continued. "You know that now. The other Espada are gone too. I know you're not after power, or you'd have taken over Hueco Mundo already. After all, you'd be the strongest one there now. Anyway, there's no reason for you to be just sitting there in exile, doing nothing. So . . . come and stay here for a while. Who knows? You might end up liking it." He paused. "I know that I'm probably the last person you'd ever want to trust, but you've already seen that I can't hurt you. Really, you could hurt me if you wanted, but," he grinned, "after our last meeting, I don't believe you will. So I'm asking you honestly to come and try life on this side. Just for a while, anyway."

Ichigo had made his best guess as to Ulquiorra's position, but he'd been off by a little more than a foot. So it was that for most of this monologue, he'd stood practically next to Ulquiorra, their shoulders nearly touching, staring intently at nothing. Ulquiorra had clearly not thought it worth his while to correct Ichigo's mistake, and he maintained his own bored stare at the opposite wall.

The sight of this was so amusing to Orihime ─ Ichigo speaking so meaningfully to his bedroom wall while the Espada ignored him ─ that she had to press her hands to her mouth to suppress a giggle. Enough of a sound got through that Ichigo turned to look at her in mild confusion.

"What?" he asked.

At that, Orihime burst out laughing. Ichigo continued to look at her, while Ishida pushed his glasses back minutely and sighed.

"You're talking to the wall, idiot," he said simply.

"Huh? What?! You could have said something!"

"I hated to interrupt such a passionate speech," smirked Ishida.

"Okay, so where is he?"

As if in answer, Ulquiorra finally pulled a hand from his pocket and flicked a single finger against Ichigo's forehead, just hard enough that it didn't quite knock the other off of his feet.

"What was that for?!" demanded Ichigo, regaining his balance and rubbing his forehead while staring at where he now _knew_ Ulquiorra would be standing.

The Espada returned his hand to his pocket and closed his eyes, going back to ignoring the fiery-haired young man beside him. Ichigo muttered a curse under his breath, then turned to Ishida.

"Did he answer? Or is he ignoring me?"

"I'll let you guess."

"Ulquiorra-san," came Orihime's voice, surprising most of the males in the room. "I still don't understand what's happening . . . but I think that Kurosaki-kun would like for you to stay."

Ulquiorra ─ the only one who hadn't reacted to her speaking ─ turned to look at her.

"Why?" he asked simply.

"He wants to know why, Kurosaki," repeated Ishida, knowing that the other hadn't heard the question.

"You remember what I said when you wanted me to fight you the first time, Ulquiorra?" answered Ichigo. "I said you hadn't hurt any of my friends. You said that you forced Inoue to go to Hueco Mundo, and I know that that's true, but I also know that you only did it because Aizen made you. You also fought me, but I did more to you than you did to me. So, short of that, you still haven't hurt any of my friends."

"Excuse me?" interrupted Ishida, clearly irritated. "Have you forgotten a matter of a certain left hand?" He waved the repaired limb by way of illustration.

"I said my 'friends,'" sneered Ichigo. "Since when would a Quincy call a Shinigami 'friend'?"

"Try former, _substitute_ Shinigami," snorted Ishida. "But you're right; I wouldn't call you a friend; more like a 'former rival, fallen from glory.'"

"Hey!"

"In that sense," continued Ishida, turning to Ulquiorra, "I suppose that you and I have something in common."

"Shut up!" snapped Ichigo.

"You started this, Kurosaki," smirked Ishida. "And now you don't want to finish it?"

"Ishida, Ichigo," came the quiet voice of Chad. As the two turned to look at him, he asked simply, "The Arrancar?"

Ulquiorra still didn't react to being discussed, but Ichigo and Uryū managed to bring themselves back to the matter at hand.

"Very well," sighed Uryū. "I suppose you have some sort of plan in mind, Kurosaki? Or is this merely as well thought-out as your invasion of Hueco Mundo?"

"Hey! At least it worked!" snapped Ichigo. "And yes, I did think this out. We'll go to Urahara-san's shop and ask him for a gigai for Ulquiorra to use while he's here."

"And then?"

"And then what?"

Again, Ishida sighed. "Yes, this is as well thought-out as Hueco Mundo," he nodded. Turning to Ulquiorra, he continued, "Quite apart from the dangers you would face here from Soul Society when they discover that you're here ─ and they _will_ discover it, I've no doubt ─ I would like to warn you that, should you decide to stay, you may well be subjected to Kurosaki's insanity often enough to drive the steadiest mind from its moorings. With that being said, the fact that you're able to remain indifferent through all of this so far indicates to me that you have amazing powers of self-control, something I wouldn't have expected in an Espada. I suppose the true question is this: do you want to stay?"

All of the humans looked at the Hollow in their midst (though one still couldn't see him), and the latter returned their gazes. After short consideration, Ulquiorra sighed.

"I am willing to _try_ it, as he says," he conceded. "Although Kurosaki Ichigo is not a person with whom I would care to associate, yet he has an uncanny ability to survive and even succeed in the most unusual circumstances. I find that fascinating and would be willing to──"

The person being discussed chose this moment to interrupt.

"Well?" he asked. "Did he say yes?"

"Kurosaki-kun," scolded Orihime. "You interrupted Ulquiorra-san while he was speaking."

"Huh? Well, what was he saying? Someone needs to translate for me!"

Ulquiorra simply sighed resignedly and again closed his eyes. "Tell him I said 'yes,'" he said simply.


	4. An Experimental Body

_**Chapter 4**_

 **An Experimental Body**

* * *

 **A/N:** **Two chapters ago, we got a taste of Ulquiorra's thought processes. In this chapter, we'll get a taste of Orihime's. I had a lot of fun writing her, and I hope you enjoy!**

 _ **Brief answers to reviews (as always, thanks for those!):**_

 _ **Sanaa11**_ _ **: Regarding Hanatarō**_ _ **, well, they forgot about him again. (Except Ulquiorra.) Don't worry; He will reappear in two chapters.**_

 _ **LHisawesome4ever**_ _ **: No, sorry to say, Grimmjow will not be appearing in this fan fic. (I have others in the works with him, but not this one.)**_

 _ **Meladi**_ _ **: Ichigo never has a plan, other than to beat up the bad guys. :) I had fun drawing attention to that fact.**_

 _ **Guest **__**(who read "**_ **What is Kindness** _ **"): I intentionally left out their emotional reactions in the last chapter. Orihime was too shocked to feel much of anything. Ulquiorra's will be discussed later, but basically he didn't feel anything at that time. There's no romance between them at this point.**_

 _ **Sivdre**_ _ **,**_ _ **Wimallidge**_ _ **, other**_ _ **guest**_ _ **,**_ _ **PurpleRawan**_ _ **,**_ _ **kwest7262**_ _ **,**_ _ **Sohma**_ _ **, & **__**Jak Fortune**_ _ **: thank you all very much!**_

* * *

It had not taken as long for Urahara-san to accept the idea of a Hollow staying in the Land of the Living as most of them had expected. In truth, he actually seemed more enthusiastic than apprehensive, even stating that he couldn't wait to learn how close the Hollowfied Shinigami and the Arrancar actually were in physical makeup, if Ulquiorra-san was willing to let him run a few tests on him. Ulquiorra hadn't answered, but his silence didn't dissuade the original founder of the Shinigami Research and Development Institute. It was less than ten minutes after their arrival before the four high-school students, the deposed Espada, and the former Shinigami captain were sitting together around a little table in the back of the shop as Urahara explained (with a little excitement, of course) the potential difficulties with making a gigai designed for use on Hollows.

"I've never actually made one for a Hollow, but I would hope that it won't need to be that different," smiled the shop owner. "Of course, it might take a few tries to get it just right, if a normal gigai doesn't work." He rubbed his chin, considering. "Ah! Why don't we try a little experiment? I'll give you a normal, disposable gigai now that you can wear for a few days, and we'll observe how that does for you. We can then see what might need to be adjusted or changed and work from there. How does that sound?"

Ulquiorra, having already resigned himself to the idea of a gigai, simply nodded in agreement.

"Excellent!" exclaimed Kisuke. "Oh, this is so exciting, to tell the truth!"

"So, Urahara-san," said Ichigo. "How soon can you have one for him to test?" It was clear that Ichigo was more than ready to actually be able to see Ulquiorra as well as everyone else, rather than having to rely on his friends to let him know what the other was saying or doing.

"Oh, I have one here now," replied Kisuke, waving a hand dismissively. "After all, it's just for a test, so it doesn't matter what it looks like."

Without another word, Urahara drew a black orb from his pocket, blew into it, and suddenly had an exact replica of himself lying across his arms.

"Not quite your normal size, but it should do for our little experiment," he grinned, offering it to the Espada. "I keep lots of these spares, so I certainly won't miss just one."

Ulquiorra looked at him silently, observing the faux body.

"Um, Urahara-san," began Ichigo uncomfortably. "Are you sure . . . ?"

The rest of the humans in the group just sat there in almost stunned silence, not sure if they should believe what Urahara was suggesting.

"Come, I'll show you how to put it on," continued the shop-keeper, still looking only at the Hollow beside him.

Completely oblivious to the awkwardness of his audience, Urahara began demonstrating how the gigai was to be worn. Ulquiorra hesitated only a moment before reaching forward to accept the unusual offering. All other faces paled as the two finished the quick merging of body and soul. There now before them, for all visual purposes, sat two Uraharas.

"Er, Urahara-san . . ." stuttered Ichigo again, still not wanting to believe what he was seeing.

Kisuke, however, continued to ignore the others as he explained the workings of the gigai.

"You'll feel a bit, how should I put it? Heavy, I suppose is the right word. It's not that you actually weigh more, but it's harder to move in the gigai at first. With practice, you'll still be able to sonido and shoot ceros and so forth (although I hope you won't be doing that much), but it'll feel a bit different. Remember too that this body can be damaged as easily as any human body; it doesn't have your hierro. Of course, you can strengthen your reiatsu around it, such that most objects can't pierce it, but that's only if you make a conscious effort. Don't drop your guard in a dangerous situation, thinking that someone can't cut you. They can, as long as you're wearing this."

Ulqui-hara moved his hands, looking from one to the other, then swung an arm gently, all the while with his customary expressionless face, which, on Urahara's body, looked adorably melancholic.

 _He has such beautiful, soft, puppy-dog eyes_ , thought Orihime. _I never noticed. I wonder if Urahara-san could make Ulquiorra's gigai with eyes like that._ Quickly she shook her head, scolding herself for even thinking like that. _After all,_ she told herself, _Ulquiorra's eyes are beautiful too: so deep and green and sparkling, even if he doesn't show emotions._ Instantly, she blushed, realizing what she was thinking. Fortunately, no one was looking at her at the time, being too absorbed in the oddity before them.

"Urahara-san!" exclaimed Ichigo, finally getting ahold of his shock. "What are you doing?!"

"Eh?" asked Kisuke. "I thought that I just explained it. This will be a test to see how the Hollow's physique reacts to the Shinigami gigai. They're so similar in makeup that I'd like to think it'll be no different, but, in case it is, it would be simplest to test it on a disposable gigai rather than a specialized one."

"I agree, odd as it is to have two of you," put in Ishida, pushing his glasses back. "You said that it could take a day or two to finish one specially meant for Hollows; this provides Ulquiorra-san with a convenient body in the meantime."

"But . . . two of them?" muttered Chad, his mildly strained voice betraying how uncomfortable he felt with this.

"How are we supposed to be able to tell you both apart?" demanded Ichigo. "What if he decides to impersonate you?"

"Oh, come, Kurosaki," sighed Ishida condescendingly. "Surely even _your_ brain wouldn't be fooled if he did."

"Huh? What's that's supposed to mean?!"

"Ulquiorra wouldn't try to pretend to be someone he isn't," argued Orihime, having regained control of her complexion. "So you don't need to worry."

"Actually," interposed Urahara, "I think that what Ishida-san is trying to say is that──"

A loud snap interrupted him, and they all turned to look at Ulquiorra in surprise. The surprise turned to shock as they saw that his left arm was hanging at an unnatural angle, obviously broken completely. Ulqui-hara merely looked at it in mild curiosity.

"How is this body removed?" he asked calmly.

"What?!" exclaimed Ichigo. "Not by breaking it! Is _that_ what you were trying to do?"

"He's right, Ulquiorra-san," answered Urahara, taking hold of the broken arm gently and examining it. "You can't 'break' it off."

"Do you still think we won't be able to tell them apart, Kurosaki?" smirked Ishida.

Ichigo glared at his friend, but he had to admit that the other was probably right. He just wasn't going to admit it aloud. It was true: there was no way that Ulquiorra would be able to pass as a normal human anytime soon.

"Well, I did warn you that this body is more easily damaged," continued Urahara. "You may want to be a bit more careful, especially with your natural strength. Inoue-san? Could you lend us a hand?"

Realizing what he wanted, Orihime came forward quickly. " _Soten Kisshun_ , I reject." The orange shield appeared, knitting together the broken bone and restoring the arm.

"I see that my own regenerative abilities do not carry over to the gigai," mused Ulquiorra.

"That's correct," nodded Kisuke. "It is completely separate from you. Think of it as an article of clothing: something that you would put on and take off but that isn't actually a part of you."

"How is it removed?" Ulquiorra asked again.

"Well, there are a few ways. First, and most popular, are the soul candies." Urahara grinned broadly as he displayed a little container of pills. "They come in all different personality types, and I have several different flavors also. You simply──"

"No."

Urahara blinked. "No? But you haven't seen them yet."

"I have seen them. I have seen Shinigami use them. There are a limited number there, and one must always have them at hand. How can this be removed without those?"

"There are soul-removing items, like this," admitted Urahara, lifting his cane to show the painted tip. "This can forcefully drive a soul from its physical body, but . . ."

"But it hurts!" snapped Ichigo, rubbing his head in remembrance of many blows from Rukia's spirit glove.

"Can it be used by someone on themself?" asked Ulquiorra, ignoring Ichigo's interruption.

"I've never tried," replied Kisuke, lifting a hand to rub his chin. "That's a good question." Turning the tip of his cane to himself, he thrust it into his chest. "Ah!" he exclaimed, his spirit thrown backwards as his body collapsed, still holding the cane. "Yes," he said with another grin. "I suppose it can." He lifted his own gigai and re-entered it as he continued, "Of course, it would take sufficient force. You see, once the soul leaves the gigai, the gigai will stop moving, so if you were only partially out, then it could be a bit awkward. You'd have to re-enter it and try again, which could be problematic if you needed to exit the gigai quickly."

"I see."

Orihime had finished by this time and moved back to sit between Uryū and Ichigo.

"I'll tell you what," grinned Urahara again. "While I'm working on the gigai, I'll come up with something like this but meant for a spirit to use to remove itself from a gigai; something like Kurosaki-kun's substitute Shinigami pass. I can't guarantee that it won't hurt, but I've no doubt that I can create it. How would that be?"

Again, Ulquiorra simply nodded once.

"Well, that's that!" exclaimed Urahara, clapping his hands once. "Now, I'm off to work on gigai designs, and you'll just need to move about as you normally would and be sure to note anything unusual. If you have any trouble with it, be sure to come back here right away."

Ulquiorra nodded once more.

"Wait," put in Ichigo. "Won't he be staying here?"

"Eh?" asked Kisuke. "I hadn't realized that you were thinking that."

Ulquiorra had likewise turned to look at Ichigo. "I will not stay here," he said simply.

"Wait, but . . . ."

"Your well-thought-out plan didn't extend that far, eh, Kurosaki?" asked Uryū half-sarcastically.

"Well . . . ."

"Rukia always stayed at your place, didn't she?" continued Uryū. "Why don't you take Ulquiorra-san to stay there also?"

"What?! My old man would _never_ agree to that! Especially when he looks like that!"

"Ulquiorra could stay with me. I have extra space."

The others all turned to look at Orihime as she gave this offer. Some looked shocked; some looked horrified; one alone looked indifferent.

"Inoue, I don't think that's a good idea," began Ichigo hesitantly.

"Oh, it's alright, Kurosaki-kun," grinned the boisterous young girl. "I can tell people that he's my uncle, come to stay with me. It'll just be for a few days, until his proper gigai is made. Really, after how well Ulquiorra-san took care of me, it's the least I can do. And besides, he might get hurt again while he's getting used to the gigai, and he'll need my help to fix it."

Again, the human boys around the table looked uncomfortable. It was easier for Orihime to talk about her capture than it was for them to think about it. After all, they hadn't been able to protect her. Anything might have happened to her. She had assured them that it hadn't and that she'd been fine, but it didn't change the fact that she'd been in very great danger for a significant period of time. And now she was willing to house her former guard! Ignoring their discomfort, Orihime turned to the Hollow-in-Shinigami-form.

"It'll be like us switching places for a little while, eh?" she grinned. "You'll be staying in my apartment, instead of me staying in your tower."

For a moment, Ulquiorra returned her gaze silently. At last, he said simply, "Very well."

Urahara again grinned, although this time it looked a bit forced. "I think that that's settled then!"

* * *

Orihime hadn't had a lot of time to consider what it meant that Ulquiorra was still alive, but one thing was clear to her: she wanted to be able to talk to him. Of course, she wanted to get her own thoughts straight first, and, for Orihime, that was a massive task in and of itself! It didn't help that he had appeared in Kurosaki-kun's room so suddenly behind her with _no_ warning _whatsoever_! And he'd just stood there, looking at her like there was nothing out of the ordinary! Of course, as she thought about it, she realized that that's what she would have expected of him. He would always look like nothing was wrong, even if the world was falling apart around him. Really, when he woke up after being dead, she was sure that his first thought must have been a simple "Oh, okay," before he stuck his hands in his pockets and walked away like nothing had happened. He probably didn't need time to process his thoughts at all. Orihime on the other hand needed a lot of time to process hers. He was alive! Not only that, but he was here, in the Land of the Living, and he meant to stay! That thought should terrify her, she knew, given that he was a Hollow. After all, don't Hollows eat human souls? No, she reminded herself, that wasn't right. He was an Arrancar. They ate other Hollows. Didn't they? Come to think of it, she'd never seen Ulquiorra eat, except for that one day that he ate a bite of her dinner when she'd asked him to do so. That had been sweet of him. She smiled, remembering that. Did he like to eat the sort of food that she ate in Las Noches? Maybe that was the only real food he'd ever eaten, and that was why he didn't eat much. Oh! She should cook a real meal for him, so that he could taste something truly good! Would he like chocolate? Of course, _everyone_ likes chocolate, but she remembered that Tatsuki had said that some people didn't like it in ramen, which Orihime found surprising. Maybe Ulquiorra-kun would. Yes, she would make a big pot of ramen with chocolate and shrimp and a dollop of bean paste for him to try.

Orihime shook her head as she tried to focus and stop getting so distracted. Why was she thinking about food right now? Ulquiorra was alive! How was he still alive? Or maybe he wasn't _still_ alive, but he was alive _again_. That is, had he really been dead? Well, she had seen him die, but maybe she had imagined that. No, that wasn't possible. He had definitely died. But, then again, Kurosaki-kun had died too, and then he came back. And he had been a human at first, but then he came back as a Hollow, but then the Hollow-him had died, and then he came back again as a human. Had Ulquiorra-san perhaps come back as a human this time? That would be funny! Well, not to him. It would probably put him in a very bad mood. What would he look like in a bad mood? Probably no different, except that his eyebrows would come together a little more and his eyes might close a little. Orihime thought that she had seen him angry, but now she couldn't remember for sure. Surely he got angry sometimes. After all, everyone gets angry sometimes. Even Orihime had gotten angry with him and had slapped him. She blushed, remembering that. Would he be angry about that? No, he hadn't been angry at the time, so why would he be angry now? Maybe he didn't get angry after all. Maybe he was always calm like this.

Focus! she scolded herself. Stop getting distracted! Ulquiorra is alive, and he's here, and he's going to stay here. And she wanted to speak with him, but not in front of everyone else. If her friends were there, they'd all worry about her, talking to the Espada who had held her prisoner. After all, they didn't know how nice he'd been, really. Well, maybe not nice all of the time. Okay, not even most of the time, at least not the way humans were nice to each other. But for a Hollow, he had been nice. Very, very nice, as compared to the other Espada and Hollows. He hadn't ever tried to eat her. Coming from a Hollow, that was certainly nice! Oh, but he doesn't eat human souls anymore. Wait, she had already been over this, hadn't she? Focus! What was she thinking? Oh, yes, how he had been nice. Wait, that wasn't right. Was it about him still being alive? No, she'd already thought about that. It was about eating chocolate! No, it wasn't! What was it then?

It had been about this juncture that she had realized that they were discussing where Ulquiorra should stay. Without thinking (much), she had quickly volunteered to let him stay with her. That would give them a chance to talk! She could work out what she wanted to say on the way over to her apartment or perhaps while she was fixing dinner ( _definitely_ ramen with chocolate), and then she could say whatever it was she wanted to say, perhaps while they ate, if he ate. What was it she had wanted to say to him? Oh, yes, she hadn't worked that out yet. But she would.

Her friends were naturally concerned with the idea of him staying with her, but Orihime had laughed it off. Ulquiorra wouldn't hurt her. After all, she'd slapped him, and he hadn't hurt her then. Why would he hurt her if she didn't try to hurt him? He didn't eat human souls. She'd already established that (in her own mind). It did occur to her that it might look funny to have a man staying in her apartment, but right now that shouldn't be an issue anyway. He was using one of Urahara-san's gigais, and surely no one would think that Urahara-san would do anything that he shouldn't. So if Ulquiorra on the inside wouldn't hurt her and Urahara on the outside wouldn't hurt her, then she was completely safe with him. Everything made perfect sense . . . in her mind.

* * *

The walk to her apartment had given Orihime a little time to think, but not as much as she had expected. Ulquiorra was quiet, as she had supposed that he would be, staring ahead of himself and saying nothing, but it was just so distracting seeing him in Urahara's body. She kept glancing at him, expecting to see pale skin, soft black hair, and practically glowing green eyes, and instead she was met with the sight of the shaggy shop-keeper, striped hat and all, but walking erect, hands in his pockets, and the most serious expression she'd ever seen on his face. Yes, it was _far_ too distracting to properly organize her thoughts.

"Um, Urahara-san always hunches his shoulders," she murmured at one point.

Ulqui-hara turned his head to look at her. "I am not Urahara-san," he replied simply.

"Yes, well . . . you look like him," she smiled. "Except that you walk straight. And you don't smile as much. You know," she grinned a little more, "you could smile while you're wearing his gigai, and it wouldn't look funny, because he's always smiling anyway."

Again, Ulquiorra simply looked at her, but this time he didn't answer.

"So, how do you like it? The gigai, I mean. Is it really strange?"

"I am unaccustomed to this height."

"Oh! I probably look _very_ short to you now!"

"Yes."

Orihime giggled. "If you like being that tall, we can ask Urahara-san to make your gigai tall too."

At that, Ulquiorra abruptly stopped walking. Orihime stopped too, looking at him.

"I will not accept a faux body that does not look like me," he stated firmly, not looking at her. "If he attempts to create something that is . . . different, then I will not use it. I have accepted this form as an experiment only." With that, he started walking again, falling back into silence.

"Well, you'll have to have _some_ things changed," argued Orihime, walking a little more quickly to keep up with his longer legs. "You can't wear a gigai that looks like a Hollow."

"Why not?"

"Well . . . ." Orihime considered. Why not? After all, his Hollow form did look a lot like a human. Of course, his skin was so pale that that part didn't look human. But aren't there some humans who look like that? Yes, Orihime remembered seeing pictures of a musician who was an Albino, and his skin was almost as white as Ulquiorra's. Okay, so maybe he could stay so pale. And he would _certainly_ want to keep his green eyes. She had decided that they really were prettier than Urahara's grey ones, even if they weren't as sad-looking when he was serious. Wait! What about his Hollow helmet? He couldn't keep that! After all, the horned part would look like a weapon. It was so sharp! Then again, now that she thought about it, she didn't know if it was sharp. It looked sharp. She wondered whether he could use the horn like a bull and gore his enemies. But, if he did that, then the blood would spurt out all over his face, and she was _sure_ that he wouldn't like that; he always kept himself so very clean. No, absolutely not. That was a definite reason that he couldn't have a gigai just like his Hollow form.

"Because you'd get blood all over your face," she stated firmly, sure that she'd now won the argument.

Ulqui-hara blinked, turned his head slowly to look at her, and merely stared at her in silence. Orihime smiled back at him, thrilled with her own impeccable logic. He couldn't even argue with her!

"Oh, we're home!" she exclaimed, looking forward again. "This is my apartment. Come on in! It's getting late, so I'll get started on supper right away. Have you ever had chocolate-shrimp-ramen with bean paste?"

* * *

 **A/N** **: Before you ask, no, I do NOT think that Orihime is stupid. I think that she is scatter-brained and has trouble keeping her thoughts in any sort of logical order. She also doesn't realize that other people can't keep up with what she's thinking. She's smart enough in her own right, but she just gets distracted too easily to really form a coherent argument in general.**

 **Also, for general information: Orihime is 5' 2"** **(157 cm)** **,** **Ulquiorra is 5' 6½" (169 cm), and Kisuke is 6' 0" (183 cm) plus clogs.**

 **Next chapter: Ulquiorra's first taste of Orihime's cooking!**


	5. Of Food and Friends

_**Chapter 5**_

 **Of Food and Friends**

* * *

The greatest benefit to having nothing was that one had nothing to lose. Without hope, one could not be disappointed. Without friends, one could not be betrayed. Without a heart, it could not be broken. This was the premise on which Ulquiorra had functioned for time immemorable. It was a cold, hard, irrefutable truth, and it formed the basis of his existence. Others clung to their pride and their positions, their Fracciones and friends, their powers and possessions. As these things were lost and taken from them, Ulquiorra watched the individuals fall, crushed. He was different; he had nothing; he wanted nothing; therefore nothing could be taken from him. Even in his Arrancar transformation, he alone among his brethren had chosen not to pursue power but rather self-preservation. His regenerative abilities surpassed any other, though his strength did not. He needed nothing and no one; he was sufficient unto himself. And if he was not sufficient, then he did not deserve to live. He would rely on no one and nothing else. He was alone. Always.

The woman herself had originally confirmed his position. He had seen how her friends had weakened her and how she had in turn weakened them. If not for her love of her friends, the woman would never have come with him, walking willingly into the lair of her enemies. If not for their friendship with her, her friends would have remained in the Land of the Living, rather than to rush headlong to their deaths. The fact that they had survived ─ all of them ─ was strange and warranted interest. How had they survived, while relying on each other? How, when one would throw him or herself into death's grasp, as the Quincy had done with Ulquiorra on the roof of Las Noches, merely to buy the others a _little_ time, would they all yet survive? They would not merely survive; they would vanquish. How? Why?

It was on these questions that Ulquiorra chose to focus his thoughts as he stood in the living quarters of his former prisoner, gazing stoically around himself as he listened to her moving busily about her little kitchen. There were many other questions that could occupy his mind: questions which may have been the answers to these that he now asked.

Why had the humans pitied him?

He remembered well when he had stood before Kurosaki, just after the latter had risen as if from the dead while Ulquiorra himself was dying. He remembered the look in the substitute Shinigami's eyes as Ulquiorra had ordered the other to kill him: pity, sorrow, regret. Why?

 _"I don't want to win like this!"_ Kurosaki had shouted.

What did that even mean? He remembered the look in the woman's eyes as she gazed at him, watching him die. Again, it was of pity, sorrow, sadness. Why? He was their enemy. He had tried to kill her chosen protector. Why would she pity him?

These were the questions he did not wish to ask, because he feared that in them might prove to be the answer of the hidden strength of these humans. Was it possible that these tender emotions ─ this "heart" ─ was what gave them their ability to overcome every obstacle? He hoped that it was not so.

It was these questions that had driven Ulquiorra to accept Kurosaki's offer to come to the Land of the Living. He had wanted to discover what it was that was so unique about this group of humans. It was this thirst for knowledge which had caused him to accept the offer of his former prisoner, putting himself in what had once been her position, albeit under very different circumstances. And it was this that now gave him the mental fortitude to wear (temporarily, of course) the moderately hideous form of the Shinigami most renowned among the Espada: creator of the Hōgyoku, Urahara Kisuke.

"Supper's ready!" came the enthusiastic voice of the human woman, interrupting his thoughts.

Without a word, Ulquiorra turned and walked in the direction of her voice. Perhaps he would take this time to ask her some of these questions.

Perhaps.

* * *

"I hope you like it!" exclaimed Orihime, watching as Ulquiorra lifted the spoon. "It's my own special recipe!"

Ulquiorra looked down at the bowl before him. It was like nothing he had ever seen. The colors and scents were far more varied than any dish in Hueco Mundo would have been. What was this? He said nothing, however, and simply took a large bite, chewed, and swallowed. No expression crossed his stalwart face. He simply paused, looking down at the bowl. Orihime continued to swallow her own meal, watching and waiting for his reaction.

"Well?" she asked at last. "What do you think?"

Ulquiorra set down the spoon, still looking at the dish before him.

"I never understood why you would, at times, refuse so steadfastly to eat," he said calmly. "Now I see. As a Hollow, I had not tasted food from the Land of the Living, so I could not know how different it is. If the food that we served to you in Hueco Mundo tasted in your human mouth as this does in mine, I can only admire your strength in eating as well as you did." Lifting his eyes at last to look at her directly, he continued, still in his usual monotone, "I should apologize for having been so harsh with you on that subject. I did not realize the pain that it must have caused you to eat it."

"Oh!" exclaimed Orihime. "No! It wasn't painful at all! It was boring, I suppose, but it didn't..." She trailed off as she seemed finally to understand what he was implying. Now it was her turn to lower her eyes sadly. "You don't like it," she murmured.

"There is no reason for you to be unhappy," replied Ulquiorra. "I am not human. It is to be expected that my body will react differently to human foods than will yours."

"No, it's not that." Orihime smiled sadly as she swirled the noodles in her own bowl. "You're not the only one. Most people seem to think that my cooking is ... funny."

"I would not have used that word to describe it."

Orihime blushed. "Well, you don't need to eat it."

"That is a benefit of being an Espada."

"Hm?" she looked at him in confusion.

"I have no need of eating physical foods."

"Oh. That's not what I meant! I... Never-mind."

Ulquiorra looked at her curiously, but Orihime simply smiled sweetly and continued to wolf down her own meal.

"We should try other recipes too!" she exclaimed between bites. "I want to find out what sort of foods taste good to you."

After that, the two sank into silence, both looking down at the dishes in front of them. Orihime licked her lips awkwardly and continued to eat as her thoughts moved madly through her brain. There was so much she wanted to say, if she could only start! Although Ulquiorra didn't move or show what he was thinking, he too was absorbed in thought, considering whether to speak now or to wait. At last, both came to a decision, and consequently both spoke at the same time.

"Ulquiorra──"

"What would──"

Both stopped to look at the other, and Orihime quickly smiled.

"You first!" she exclaimed.

Ulquiorra simply looked at her, then opened his mouth again to speak.

 _Knock-knock-knock._

"Oh! Who can that be, so late?" Orihime looked at her guest apologetically before jumping up from the table to answer the door.

"Sado-kun!" she exclaimed a moment later. "What are you doing here?"

"I ... was just in the area," began the larger boy uncomfortably. "I just wanted to check on you. I hope that that's alright."

"Oh, it's fine! That's so sweet! Yes, I'm just fine," smiled Orihime.

"Hm," nodded Chad, apparently not sure what to say next.

"Would you like to come in?" asked Orihime, seeing his hesitancy to leave and wanting to set his mind at ease.

"T-t-thank you," murmured the half-Mexican, entering the apartment awkwardly.

"Ulquiorra and I were just having dinner," continued Orihime, shutting the door and moving toward the kitchen. "I'll set another place! Have you eaten?"

Ulquiorra, glancing at the newcomer, observed the color drain quickly from the latter's face as he said, "Please don't bother; I've eaten. Thank you." Turning to the Espada, the boy said simply, "Hello."

Ulquiorra nodded silently in response.

"Well, I'll set another place anyway, in case you change your mind," smiled Orihime, coming back from the kitchen with a bowl, cup, napkin, and utensils. "It's chocolate ramen with shrimp and bean paste. It's very good! Ulquiorra can't eat it though, because──"

 _Knock-knock-knock._

"Oh!" exclaimed Orihime again. "I didn't expect this much company tonight. I should have made more food."

Opening the door again, she was met with the sight of another friend.

"Kurosaki-kun," she smiled. "Did you come to see how I was too?"

"Huh?" asked Ichigo. "Someone else did?"

"Yes," nodded Orihime. "Sado-kun just arrived too. Did you want to come in?"

"Well..."

Orihime just smiled seeing the same hesitancy in Kurosaki that she had seen in Chad. She thought it so sweet of them to be worried about her, even though she knew that it was silly of them. Still, she didn't want to tell them that they were being silly. It was much more polite to let them feel like they were protecting her. She ushered Kurosaki into the apartment, offering to fetch him a bowl also, but Chad moved aside from the still-clean place set for him, saying again that he had eaten and that Kurosaki could take his place. Ichigo quickly informed them all that he had already eaten likewise, but he did sit down.

Orihime sat back down herself to resume her meal, wondering whether the three males would start speaking or whether she would need to prevent an awkward silence, but neither happened.

 _Knock-knock-knock_.

Again, Orihime rose, this time with a short giggle. "I'll be right back," she smiled.

"Ishida-kun! I thought that that was you!" she exclaimed, opening the door again.

"Eh? I didn't realize I was expected."

"Of course!" Orihime pulled him into the apartment, still grinning, and turned to present the small group already crowded around her little table. "Come on in!"

"Oh," was all that Uryū said, seeing the other two there.

"Hey, Ishida," called Ichigo. "What are you doing here, huh?"

"Same as you, Kurosaki. At least, I hope so."

"Huh?"

"Never mind."

Orihime returned to her meal, trying to convince her three friends to join her, but all insisted that they had eaten and weren't hungry. Ichigo had asked (with a slight smirk) why Ulquiorra wasn't eating, to which Orihime had replied that a Hollow's sense of taste was very different from a human's and that the food didn't agree with his unique palate. The three boys then looked at the Espada with what he would have considered suspicion and a tinge of envy. This confused Ulquiorra slightly, but he didn't feel it worth his while to inquire.

 _Knock-knock-knock._

All looked up in surprise at this fourth interruption.

"Now, who could that be?" asked Orihime, rising once more to answer the door.

"Urahara-san would be the only other one I would expect," said Uryū, earning a laugh from Orihime.

"Old Hat-and-Clogs come here?" grinned Ichigo. "That would be a first."

"Tatsuki-chan!" exclaimed Orihime a moment later. "What are _you_ doing here? How did you know?"

"Eh? Know what?" asked Tatsuki. "I just stopped by to──" Looking past Orihime at the group gathered there, Tatsuki's eyebrows rose. "What's all this? Are you having a party, and I wasn't invited?"

"Oh, no! You're invited! Come on in!" Orihime ushered her friend into the room with a smile. "Have you had supper?"

"Actually, it's not a party, Tatsuki," called Ichigo. "It's coincidence. This wasn't planned."

"Really? You're going to tell me that all of you came here──" She stopped, seeing Ulquiorra/Urahara. "What is _he_ doing here? You going to tell me that that's coincidence too?" She gasped. "You all are planning another mission, aren't you?! Where are you going _this_ time?" Turning to Orihime, she continued, "If you're leaving again, I'm going with you all. I'm not letting you traipse across other dimensions alone again, especially after what happened last time! It's pretty clear that these idiots can't keep you safe!"

"No, no, Tatsuki, it's nothing like that!" exclaimed Orihime, waving her arms in protest. "We're not going anywhere!"

"Really? Like I'm supposed to believe that!"

"Really! We're not!"

"Then what's going on?!"

"If you must know," called Ishida, his voice as calm as always, rising in volume slightly but only to be heard over Tatsuki's frustrated exclamations, "we are reminiscing about our prior adventures, not planning any new ones. Let me assure you that none of us have any desire to repeat our last 'traipse,' as you put it."

Tatsuki didn't seem satisfied, but the others all insisted that it was the case (except for Ulquiorra who remained silent). At last, Tatsuki settled down and joined the group. She said that she had just been passing by and thought to stop in to see how Orihime was doing. Orihime had to struggle not to laugh hysterically at this, seeing that it was the same reason that the first three had given (or planned to give) for coming. With Tatsuki, however, she knew that it was true.

To keep up appearances, they did begin a brief discussion of their prior adventure, and Tatsuki participated with questions of her own. What had been supposed to be a very brief visit ended by becoming a long, drawn-out conversation. None seemed to mind. It was good to be able to talk through everything again. Ulquiorra had sat quietly, not participating, unless he was asked a question. Whenever he was, it turned out to be awkward, because those who knew who he was didn't want Tatsuki to know, and hence they would only question him when they forgot this, meaning that it was a question to which he (as Urahara) shouldn't know the answer anyway. When Tatsuki asked him a question, it was with the assumption that he was who he wasn't, which meant that he truly didn't know the answer. Tatsuki did seem to wonder at his strange silence or short, vague answers, but the others were always quick to change the direction of the conversation. Orihime tried to help this at one point by asking Ulquiorra to come and help her with the dishes, just to excuse him from the conversation, but then Ishida had stood, stating that he could help also which, in turn, led to a general consensus that all would help, as well as they were able.

None had realized how late it was getting until the little clock struck eleven. By then, they had finished the dishes and put everything back in order, and Chad commented that he should be getting home, seeing that they had school in the morning. Once more, all agreed, and thus the general exodus began. Tatsuki looked askance at Ulquiorra when the latter gave no indication that he was leaving, but Orihime quickly stated that she needed "Urahara-san" to stay late, because she wanted his help with something. She then gave Tatsuki a hug, assuring her that she'd see her first thing in the morning. Unsatisfied and still suspicious, Tatsuki did finally just sigh and leave, choosing to trust her friend.

* * *

After closing the door behind Tatsuki, Orihime gave a huge yawn.

"Oh!" she exclaimed. "I didn't realize how sleepy I was! I guess it's been a long day."

"Hm," was Ulquiorra's only response.

Orihime leaned against the door, thinking that now would perhaps be a good time to talk, but also wondering whether she'd be able to keep her thoughts in order with how tired she was. She licked her lips, considering.

"You have duties tomorrow?" asked Ulquiorra, interrupting her thoughts.

"Huh?" asked Orihime, snapping back to the present. "Oh! Yes, I have school. It starts early, so I might be gone before you get up in the morning."

"You should sleep."

Orihime blinked. Yes, she should, but... Another yawn interrupted her train of thought before it could really begin. Yes, she should sleep.

"Okay," she nodded. "I'll put together a bed for you first, so you can sleep too. Tōshirō-kun always slept here when he would stay in the Land of the Living, and he never complained, so I hope that it was comfortable. Really, I've never heard him complain about things here, but he does complain about Rangiku-san and other things from Soul Society, so I think he might say something if it wasn't nice."

Orihime smiled as she spread a futon on the living room floor while speaking of her Shinigami friends. Ulquiorra didn't react to her speech, merely watching her in silence, so she continued to explain about her other-worldly visitors as she stretched a cover and quilt over the bedding. Once finished, Orihime paused, then awkwardly bid him goodnight, hoping that he would sleep well. Ulquiorra simply nodded once in acknowledgement.

"Um," she stammered. "I'll be gone at school most of the day, so ... will you be alright alone?"

"I will return to Urahara Kisuke's shop to report on the experience thus far with the gigai," replied Ulquiorra.

"Oh, that's right," smiled Orihime. "Do you know how to get back there from here?"

"Yes."

"Hm," nodded Orihime. Hesitating once more, she finally nodded and turned toward her own room. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow then!"

No response came from her temporary roommate, but Orihime hadn't exactly expected one. Had he ever had a roommate? She almost wanted to ask. The thought of him sleeping in the same room with one of the other Espada was enough to make her grin in amusement or cringe in horror, depending on which one she placed there in her mind. Thinking through each of them was enough to occupy her mind while she readied herself for bed, laid out her school clothes for the morning, mentally walked through what she would take for lunch, and finally crawled into her own bed and turned out the light.

Lying there in bed and thinking back over the incredibly eventful day, Orihime suddenly remembered that Ulquiorra had started to ask her something at dinner. What had he wanted to ask? She knew that she could wait until morning, but then he might be gone to Urahara-san's, and then she might forget, or he might forget, or her friends might come to visit again, or...

"Ulquiorra?" she called softly.

"Yes?" came his voice from the other room.

"Are you still awake?"

"Obviously."

Orihime bit her lip. "Um, you started to ask me something at supper," she called back. Receiving no response, she continued, "What was it you wanted to ask me?"

Again, there was silence for a short time.

"I wanted to ask what you would have me call you," came his response at last.

"Huh?"

"In Hueco Mundo, you were the only human. My designation of you was appropriate. Here, it is not so."

Orihime thought about it and realized that he hadn't called her anything since he'd arrived. As the question sunk in, she found herself smiling happily. How sweet! He actually wanted to call her by name! That was special and showed that he had certainly come a long way from the unfeeling Hollow that he had been. How much else about him had changed? She then realized the other part of what he had just said: in Hueco Mundo she was the only human. So did that mean that if they were back in Hueco Mundo, he would still not call her by name? Maybe he wasn't being sweet; maybe he was just being efficient. Yes, that was most likely the case. She gave a little sigh, realizing that he probably hadn't really changed that much. It was just wishful thinking on her part. She dwelt on this for only moment before realizing that she still hadn't answered him.

"Oh!" she exclaimed. "You can call me Orihime. That's what Tatsuki calls me. Kurosaki-kun calls me Inoue, and Ishida-kun still says Inoue-san, which is sort of cute, coming from him, but I don't mind people calling me Orihime. Some of my teachers at school do, and others still say Inoue. Actually, Urahara-san says both; I guess it depends on what he's thinking. So, since you're in Urahara-san's body for now, you could use both for now, and then later, when you have your own gigai, you could use whichever you like better!"

There was again silence.

"Ulquiorra?" she called hesitantly.

"Yes?"

"Are you still awake?"

At that, she thought that she heard a faint sigh.

"Yes," came his voice again.

"Okay." She waited, but he didn't speak again. Finally, she called, "Well, goodnight then! See you in the morning!"

"Goodnight," came his simple reply.

* * *

 _ **A/N**_ ** _: Who but Ulquiorra could so sweetly and inoffensively inform Orihime that having to consume her cooking should be considered a mild form of torture? Yes, that's basically what he said, although he truly meant nothing unkind by it._  
**


	6. Old Form New Clothes

_**Chapter 6**_

 **Old Form; New Clothes**

* * *

When Orihime left for school the next morning, Ulquiorra likewise left, he going instead back to Urahara's shop where he found the former captain hard at work but excited to see him. Urahara pressed him with questions about the gigai (which Ulquiorra answered succinctly) and about his evening with Orihime (which Ulquiorra ignored). Knowing that he would soon hear about it if the Espada had done anything that he oughtn't, Urahara simply laughed at the other's reticence and returned to his own work, inviting Ulquiorra to observe.

The temporary gigai had given Ulquiorra no difficulties of which he was aware, other than it being heavy and restrictive as would be expected of a faux body, so Urahara decided that a normal gigai should work just fine. He had already begun the creation of it and had simply not finished it, not knowing what changes might need to be made to the model. Even with no differences now, Kisuke assured the Arrancar that alterations could be made later, if they were found to be necessary. Ulquiorra simply nodded, saying nothing.

Regarding the look of it, they did have a brief disagreement. Urahara said that the gigai ought to look human, so that Ulquiorra could mingle with the other people here without significant difficulty, but Ulquiorra replied that he would use nothing that did not look like himself. To every change that Kisuke suggested, Ulquiorra's response was an adamant refusal: meaning that he looked at the Shinigami before him with a cold, dark expression and said, very firmly, "No."

Could Urahara make the skin tone a bit more . . . human? No. Could he leave off the markings on his face? No. Could he change the Espada's lip color? No. What about his fingernails? No. Could he at least give him a little more weight, so that he didn't appear to be starving? No.

In the end, there was only one change to which Urahara absolutely insisted: he would _not_ add the remaining piece of Ulquiorra's Hollow mask. The partial helmet would not be a part of the gigai. Ulquiorra attempted to object, but Kisuke was equally adamant this time: he refused to negotiate. With a sigh, Ulquiorra asked whether it would at least be possible to adjust the weight of the head on the left side, so that he would feel no differently than if he had the helmet. This request surprised Kisuke, and he said that he didn't know. After a bit of experimenting, he grudgingly admitted that he couldn't do it without giving Ulquiorra what would appear to be an unhealthy tumor which would, in turn, likely look worse than the helmet would. Ulquiorra then suggested once more that the helmet remain, but, again, Urahara refused. He said that this should be a very small inconvenience and that Ulquiorra would surely get used to it. With a look of resignation, Ulquiorra at last agreed.

Urahara then worked steadily as Ulquiorra watched in silence. After a few failed attempts at conversation, Urahara likewise fell into silence. Ulquiorra then stood for a few more minutes before turning and leaving the room abruptly. Kisuke knew that to ask him where he was going would be pointless, so he didn't. For a time, therefore, he continued his merry work, humming to himself from time to time, until the door opened again.

"Boss," said Tessai, bowing low. "The Arrancar has left."

"Ah, has he?" asked Kisuke distractedly. "He'll be back. I've almost finished his gigai. Plus it's not like anyone can see him. He didn't put that temporary one back on before he left, did he?"

"No, but where he has gone, they don't wear gigais."

"Eh?"

"He opened a garganta to Hueco Mundo and left through it."

At that, Kisuke stopped his work and turned to look at his friend.

"Eh?"

* * *

Cowering in a dark cave as the sandstorm raged outside, a small Shinigami again bemoaned his cruel fate. How long had he been here? With no sunrise or sunset to interrupt the perpetual night, there really was no way to track the passing hours.

He still couldn't believe that Ulquiorra-sama had left him here. Of course, the Espada had given him the option of this or the Land of the Living, but Hanatarō really hadn't taken him seriously. Surely the threat had been in jest; surely his kind Hollow friend wouldn't actually throw him back into the nightmare from which the former had once rescued him. Surely!

Hanatarō shivered again, realizing that he should have known better than anyone that Ulquiorra-sama would not make an idle threat. After all of the time spent in his silent company, observing that cold, hard expression and those dark, emotionless eyes, he should have known. Somehow, though, he hadn't believed it.

 _ **-Flashback-**_

 _"I have decided to visit the Land of the Living," Ulquiorra-sama had stated calmly. "I do not know for how long."_

 _The Arrancar had changed his appearance, taking on a form that looked almost like a Shinigami although dressed in white rather than black. Indeed, at first, Hanatarō had barely recognized him, so accustomed was he to seeing the other with wings, fur, and horrifying eyes. Now, dressed in clean, white robes, his wings gone, his face looking like that of a Shinigami in form (though perhaps not in color), Hanatarō found that he could look at the other with (almost) no fear._

 _"Ah," nodded Hanatarō, bowing once. "I will await your return, Ulquiorra-sama."_

 _"It would be foolish for you to remain here alone," Ulquiorra had said, turning to look the other in the eye. "You have no means of opening the portals. Choose a place in the Land of the Living where you would be content."_

 _"Ah!" exclaimed Hanatarō in horror. "I cannot go to the Land of the Living! I will be branded a traitor! Rukia-san was to be punished for staying too long in the Land of the Living and for giving her strength to Kurosaki-san, and she is of the Kuchiki family! It would be far worse for me! I have been gone for far longer and without permission, and I am nobody. Please, Ulquiorra-sama, I cannot go there."_

 _"There are no gateways from here to Soul Society. I cannot send you there."_

 _Hanatarō considered. "But . . . you will return here in time, won't you?" he asked. "I would be happy to wait here until then."_

 _"I do not know when nor whether I will return," answered Ulquiorra. "If I do not, then you would be trapped here forever."_

 _Again, Hanatarō was quiet, saying nothing. Ulquiorra simply waited. Finally, Hanatarō shook his head._

 _"I'm afraid of going to the Land of the Living like this," he said._

 _"I will not simply leave you here," stated Ulquiorra coldly. "You may come to the Land of the Living, or you may return to Hueco Mundo. The choice is yours."_

 _"Please, Ulquiorra-sama, I cannot go to the Land of the Living. You do not understand..."_

 _Ulquiorra had then turned from him and begun to walk away, so Hanatarō stopped. There was no point in arguing, he knew. Ulquiorra-sama would do as he pleased. It was true that Hanatarō did not wish to stay here alone, but, if he was here, at least he could still watch the Land of the Living. He could even see Ulquiorra-sama there! Hanatarō wondered what the other planned to do; was he going to live there, as Kurosaki-san had suggested? It might be a nice change for Ulquiorra-sama. Hanatarō hoped that he would enjoy it, if he tried._

 _Interrupting his thoughts, Ulquiorra had returned, carrying a particular cube. Hanatarō watched, trying to make out where this cube led, as Ulquiorra-sama opened the portal. Without another word, the Arrancar had taken hold of the small Shinigami and thrust him through the opening._

 _"Ah! Please! Wait! Ulquiorra-sama!" Hanatarō had cried in horror, but there was no answer._

 _As he fell face-first into the sands, Hanatarō felt only overwhelming fear and disbelief. The black, starless sky with the waning moon was above him; the howling winds moved across the sands, bringing with it the cries of the Hollows. Hanatarō looked around himself in sheer terror. How could Ulquiorra-sama do this? He was the one who had rescued Hanatarō from this nightmarish hole in the first place! Why would he send him back now?_

 _ **-Present-**_

Hanatarō sighed quietly, hugging his knees to his chest. He knew why; Ulquiorra-sama had given him a choice. He hadn't exactly chosen one option, but he had clearly rejected the other, so Ulquiorra-sama had justly assumed that this was his decision. Hanatarō knew that he had no one to blame but himself. He would die here, alone, just as he had thought that he would do all those months ago.

Since he'd been here, he had managed to avoid any Hollows, hiding always in holes or caves, wherever he could do so. His own reiatsu was small enough that most of them wouldn't notice him. It was one of the only times in his life that he was glad that he was so weak himself. For once, his weakness was keeping him alive. That was almost a funny thought.

Hanatarō looked out at the sandstorm. It seemed to be lessening. That would have been nice, if it had meant that he would see sunlight or green grass or anything else remotely comforting when it passed. He knew, however, that he would only see more sand, endless night, and the shining claws of a thousand Hollows, howling for food. He shuddered.

Suddenly he screamed in terror and fell backward as a Hollow stood directly in front of him, appearing as if out of nowhere, the residual flash of his sonido barely registering with the horror-struck Shinigami.

"Help! Please, I──" He stopped, staring up at the pale individual in disbelief.

The figure stood still, hands in his pockets, staring calmly down at the little Shinigami through expressionless green eyes. Hanatarō couldn't at first bring himself to believe what he was seeing. Then, when he did...

"Ah! Forgive me, Ulquiorra-sama! Please, forgive me! Do not be angry with me. Please, do not kill me!"

Ulquiorra merely stood silently, waiting for the prostrate figure before him to calm himself. It took some little time.

"Have you tired of this place?" asked Ulquiorra at last.

Hanatarō lifted his head, still trembling. "Y-y-yes, Ulquiorra-sama," he nodded. "Please, if you will allow me to leave, I'll go wherever you like. You can send me anywhere, but please let me leave this place!"

"Come," replied Ulquiorra. "I will take you to the Land of the Living."

"Thank you, Ulquiorra-sama!" exclaimed the pitiful figure. "Thank you for returning for me!"

Ulquiorra didn't react. He merely took hold of the pathetic individual, turned, and opened the garganta without a word.

* * *

Just as Kisuke finished his work with a short cheer of triumph, Tessai again opened the door, clearing his throat uncomfortably.

"Boss," he said.

"Ah, has Ulquiorra-san returned?" grinned Kisuke. "Just in time. His gigai is ready."

"Boss, he has returned, but he is not alone."

"Eh?"

"He brought a young Shinigami with him."

Kisuke just stared. "Eh?"

Stepping around the big shop assistant came the Espada himself, half-dragging, half-carrying a cringing Shinigami. This latter person he threw onto the floor at Kisuke's feet.

"Ah!" exclaimed the cringing figure. "Forgive me! I'm sorry! Forgive me!"

"Hello," said Kisuke curiously, rising from his work. "What's your name?"

"I am Yamada Hanatarō, please, sir," gasped the other, bowing low with his face to the ground. "Fourth division, seventh seat, please."

"Fourth division, eh? What are you doing here?"

"I . . . uh . . . it's a long story, sir."

"Well, well, no need to be cringing on the floor like that," smiled Kisuke, motioning him to rise. "It's alright; the Espada won't hurt you here. You're perfectly safe now."

"Hehe, I-I-I'm not afraid of Ulquiorra-sama hurting me," replied Hanatarō nervously. "If he wanted to do that, he would have done it a long time ago."

"Eh?" Kisuke stared at him in surprise. "I hope you're not afraid of _me_ hurting you."

Again Hanatarō chuckled nervously. "Y-y-you are Urahara Kisuke-san?"

"Yes, I am, and I'm beginning to guess that there's an absolutely fascinating story behind this." He glanced from Hanatarō to Ulquiorra and back. "Honestly, I can't wait to hear it, however, I happen to have a near-perfect gigai here that is just _begging_ for a new soul to try it! Tessai, would you take our new visitor to the front and get him some tea to help him calm his nerves? We'll join you shortly. In the meantime, Ulquiorra-san, would you like to see my finished work?"

Tessai bowed and motioned the still-terrified-seeming young Shinigami to follow him from the room while Ulquiorra stepped forward to where Kisuke stood. At that time, however, the door slid open again.

"Excuse me," came a small voice.

"Ururu-chan, what is it, dear?" smiled Kisuke.

"Phone call."

With a smile and a pat on the head for the little black-haired girl, Urahara accepted the phone.

"Ah, good afternoon, Inoue-san!" exclaimed Kisuke in a tone of excitement. "Yes, Ulquiorra-san is here, and you may want to come here to get him. I think that he'll be ready to buy some human clothes now, seeing that _the gigai is finished!_ . . . Haha, yes. . . . Yes, I did say that it could take a few days, but I suppose I forgot to take into account my own genius. . . . Of course! . . . Yes, that would be a good idea. . . . Alright, I'll see you all shortly. Goodbye, Orihime-chan!"

Turning back to Ulquiorra, he smiled, "Orihime-chan and the others will be here shortly. I've given your gigai the usual school uniform (I've had a _lot_ of experience designing those!), but you'll likely want other clothes to wear day-to-day. And no! Before you ask, I can _not_ make an Espada uniform!"

"I think that you underestimate your own 'genius,'" muttered Ulquiorra in a tone as close to sarcasm as Urahara had ever heard from him. "You could do it, if you wished."

"Very well, then I _will_ not make an Espada uniform."

Ulquiorra simply nodded once in response. Looking Urahara in the eye then, he spoke calmly.

"The Shinigami I brought here fears you; he believes that you will do unpleasant things to him. Knowing who you are, I know that, for a Hollow, that fear would be justified. Tell me, is it so with one of your own kind?"

Urahara smiled seriously, almost sadly. "The present head of the Shinigami Research and Development Institute would not hesitate to experiment on anyone: human, Hollow, or Shinigami. It is a shame that he has so altered the establishment that I worked so hard to build." Looking Ulquiorra in the eye, he continued, "I am not like him. I will not hurt the young Shinigami that you've brought here, if that is what you are asking."

When Ulquiorra didn't respond, choosing instead to turn his attention back to the gigai, Urahara's smile took on a more mischievous tint.

"How is it that a Shinigami came to be in Hueco Mundo and not afraid of you?" he asked.

"Have you made a soul removal device that can be used by a person on their own faux body?" asked Ulquiorra, ignoring the question.

"You're not going to tell me?" grinned Kisuke.

"You may ask him yourself."

"Very well, if that's what you prefer," shrugged Kisuke. "No, I haven't completed the device, but I do have it planned, and it shouldn't take long to complete. If I'm successful, it'll be a small device affixed to a belt that you can wear regularly. You'll press the center, and it'll activate, similar to Kurosaki-san's Substitute Shinigami Pass. Give me another day, and I think that I'll have it completed."

Ulquiorra again merely nodded silently in acknowledgement.

* * *

Entering the shop, Orihime, Ichigo, and Uryū met with Kisuke and Ulquiorra just coming out of the back. Urahara exclaimed in welcoming tones as Ulquiorra simply looked at them silently.

"So, where's his new gigai?" asked Ichigo, motioning to the Espada. He then started, eyes widening in shock. "Wait! I can see him!"

"He's _wearing_ a gigai, Kurosaki," sighed Ishida.

Orihime giggled and stepped forward. "So, you did leave off the helmet," she grinned, reaching up to touch the exposed hair on the left side of his head.

In the blink of an eye, Ulquiorra's hand encased her wrist, arresting her movement and making her jump. Uryū's bow was formed and an arrow notched in an instant, and Ichigo leapt forward, though he stopped, knowing that he couldn't do anything.

"Let her go," came Ishida's calm voice.

Ulquiorra released his grip without a word.

"Now, now!" exclaimed Kisuke, waving his fan at them as if to tell them to calm down. "I'm sure that Ulquiorra-san meant no harm. Actually, he and I had a bit of a disagreement about his Hollow mask fragment, and I think that he may still be a bit sensitive about it. He didn't hurt you, did he, Orihime-chan?"

Orihime shook her head, blushing slightly. "No, not at all," she said quickly. Turning back to Ulquiorra, she continued, "I'm sorry; I wasn't thinking."

"Inoue-san!" exclaimed Uryū as his bow and arrow dissolved back into reishi particles. "Why are _you_ apologizing?"

"Well, it was my fault. I shouldn't have tried to touch him without asking. I'm sorry, Ulquiorra. I won't do it again."

"Hm," was Ulquiorra's only response.

The tension in the room gradually subsided, and Orihime's smile quickly returned.

"So, we need to find you some human clothes, right?" she beamed.

"Wait, he's going to look like _that_?!" demanded Ichigo. "Why did you leave his face like that? He looks like a freak!"

"Kurosaki-kun, that's not polite," scolded Orihime. "Remember that that's Ulquiorra's real face too."

"Yes, and he's not really human, so it looks freaky on a human."

"Something like your hair?" put in Ishida with a smirk.

"Hey! I was born like this!" snapped Ichigo. "It _is_ natural!"

"And your point?"

"Huh?"

Uryū sighed. Turning again to Ulquiorra, he continued, "I believe I did warn you about Kurosaki's intellect or lack thereof, didn't I?"

"You did," affirmed the Espada expressionlessly.

"Hey!" exclaimed Ichigo. "You two are _not_ going to gang up on me!"

"There would be no need," shrugged Uryū, his smirk widening. "I'm sorry, Kurosaki, but you're just such an easy target when it comes to brains."

"I'll beat your brains right out of your head!"

Somehow or other, Orihime managed to calm the two teenage boys and to usher them along with Ulquiorra out of the shop. Urahara just grinned after them, waving and calling for them to "have fun."

As they walked along the streets, Ulquiorra didn't say a word, walking with his hands in the pockets of his new school uniform as Uryū and Ichigo continued to bicker with each other. Orihime tried to play referee whenever it threatened to get violent, and her innocent smile was always enough to avert catastrophe. After one such instance, she turned and quietly apologized to Ulquiorra on their behalf, telling him that they weren't always like this, but the Espada merely remarked that he was quite accustomed to being around such behavior.

"Oh?" Orihime asked curiously.

Ulquiorra nodded once before adding, "These two remind me of Nnoitra and Szayel."

"WHAT?!" exclaimed two voices at once, as the two males turned on him in fury. "I'm nothing like that freak!" Again, both spoke at once.

Orihime laughed at their matching reactions and turned back to Ulquiorra.

"Which Espada am I like?" she grinned.

"Inoue!" exclaimed Ichigo. "Being compared to an Espada is an insult! Why would you even ask that?"

"Well, if you two are like two of them, and Ulquiorra is already one of them, then why should I be the only one not?" asked Orihime with a little pout. "I don't want to be left out. Besides, it's just a game, right?"

"How is insulting people a game?"

"Oh, it can be," murmured Ishida, hiding a smile. "After all, it does sometimes take skill to do it well."

"You're a freak too!" snapped Ichigo.

"If you're normal, then I should hope so."

"I know!" exclaimed Orihime suddenly. "I'm like Yammy!"

Her three companions all blinked and looked at her in surprise.

"What?"

"You know! Because I'm friends with Ulquiorra now just like he was, and Yammy and I both smile a lot, even though we get confused sometimes, and we both like puppies!" Orihime beamed at them.

Uryū swallowed uncomfortably. Ichigo just gaped at her. Ulquiorra gave a little sigh.

"Clearly you didn't know Yammy well," said Ulquiorra calmly. "You are very different from him."

Orihime's face fell in disappointment. "Well, then you pick one," she instructed. "You knew all of them."

"Inoue, um, I think──" began Ichigo.

"Oh! This is the perfect shop!" exclaimed Orihime excitedly, seeming to forget her request at the sight before them. "They have great clothes here. It's Rangiku's favorite. Come on!"

The other three seemed more than happy to leave that particular topic of conversation, and so they turned their attention immediately to the shopping.

Each human had a different suggestion for what would be best for Ulquiorra to wear now. Orihime began immediately by pulling brightly colored floral prints for him to try. Ulquiorra, however, refused even to touch them, much to her dismay. Ichigo suggested blacks and dark greys, saying that they'd fit the Espada's personality, but Ulquiorra stated unequivocally that he would not dress "in the colors of the Shinigami." Ishida alone found outfits of which Ulquiorra approved: simple, light-colored, and unpretentious.

As Ulquiorra tried a few different outfits, Ichigo decided to make a couple of snide remarks, comparing Arrancar tastes to Quincy styles, hoping to turn Ulquiorra and Ishida against each other just temporarily. He was curious about how the two "smart guys" would handle each other's insults. Unfortunately for him, it back-fired. Ishida and Ulquiorra both took the opportunity to belittle the Shinigami taste in dress, actually agreeing with one another in this. Ichigo then argued vehemently that a Quincy and an Espada should never be on the same side. Uryū merely called Ichigo an "easy target," while Ulquiorra muttered something about "the enemy of my enemy." After that, Ichigo kept comparatively quiet, apparently deciding to give up on the war of words (though he wouldn't admit that aloud.) Orihime did try to cheer him up, but, by the time they left the shop, he was still in a bad mood. He said that he needed to get home for supper and that he would see them all in the morning at school.

"Is he always so easy to manipulate with words?" asked Ulquiorra, looking after him curiously once Ichigo had left.

"Kurosaki only knows how to use his physical strength," replied Uryū. "I hate to admit it, but in that area ─ before he lost his Shinigami powers, of course ─ he truly was the best. Even now, I doubt that there's any normal human who could defeat him. That being said, when it comes to brains, Kurosaki is sadly lacking."

"Hm."

"Well, I should get home myself. I've much to do this evening. Will you be in school tomorrow?"

"I am told that I must," replied Ulquiorra, "and I have no objection. Urahara Kisuke says that preparations have already been made."

"Well, then, I'll see you there. Goodnight, Inoue-san."

"Goodnight, Ishida-kun!" Orihime waved as her friend left. Turning to Ulquiorra, she asked, "Are you ready to go too?"

For a moment, Ulquiorra didn't move. "I do not know where I am to go now," he said simply.

"Um, you're staying at my place for now, aren't you?"

"I had understood that I would stay with you until this faux body was complete. It is now complete. Am I to continue to stay with you?"

"Oh! I didn't think of that. Um . . . ." Inoue considered. It _would_ look strange for her to have a young man her own age staying with her if any of her friends found out about it. She couldn't say that _he_ was her uncle! Of course, he wasn't _really_ her age, but, in his new gigai, he looked like he might be, especially because they were going to bring him to school with them. How old was he really? Was he too old to be her uncle? Then again, could anyone be too old to be someone's uncle? I mean, it's not like an uncle was a father; and if it was a step-uncle, then he might not even be a real sibling of the mother or father, so he could be a _lot_ older and he would still be an uncle. But there had to be a line _somewhere_. Orihime wondered where it was.

Shaking her head, realizing that her thoughts were wandering again, Orihime came quickly back to the present. Ulquiorra wasn't her uncle, and that was fine; he could still stay with her, and they would just make it work somehow. After all, he needed to stay _somewhere_. As long as they were careful, then no one would even have to know that he was living there, except for Kurosaki-kun, Ishida-kun, and Sado-kun. After all, Rukia-chan had stayed with Kurosaki-kun for quite a long time, hadn't she? And no one outside of their group had known about her. Yes, it would be just fine.

"It'll be alright," she smiled sweetly, looking up at Ulquiorra again. "We'll just have to work out a way for you to come and go without being seen when we go to school and back, and you might have to hide when Tatsuki comes to visit. Will that be okay?"

"That should not be difficult," replied Ulquiorra simply, and Orihime smiled, taking that as a yes.

* * *

 _ **A/N: Thank you to** TheLadyIntegra **for inspiring the scene with**_ _ **Hanatarō**_ _ **. I knew what needed to happen, but I couldn't make it sound right, and her reviews were incredibly helpful as far as inspiration! Thanks!  
**_


	7. The Study of Human Emotions Revisited

_**Chapter 7**_

 **The Study of Human Emotions Revisited**

* * *

 _ **A/N: This chapter will be referencing scenes from my previous work "What is Kindness?" albeit only briefly. Also, the first minor UlquiHime moment will finally appear! To all who wanted this moment to come sooner, I understand; I would have liked that myself, but please understand that it wouldn't be in-character for Ulquiorra. I know that some like to write about him waking up on the dome of Las Noches, gazing up at Orihime through the orange shield of her Sōten Kisshun, and saying, "By the moon of Hueco Mundo, thou art the fairest maiden I've ever seen. By thy kindness, thou hast melted this heart of stone which I did not know existed. Henceforce, I do foreswear my life of evil, pledging my all to stand by thy side forevermore: as thy protector as needed and as thy lover as thou wilt allow. Accept this broken man before thee, Princess of the Sun." Very romantic, yes, but VERY OOC! Sorry, but Ulquiorra just isn't like that. He would have stood up, looked her in the eye, and said, "Foolish woman. I will now finish killing your friends." Seriously, it's going to take considerable time for him to start to actually understand (let alone feel) emotions of the sort that we like to see in him. Don't worry; it will come!**_

* * *

The next morning, Ulquiorra received his first taste of a human high school. The experience was a bit overwhelming, but not more than the Espada could handle. He did receive a wide range of reactions (mostly negative) based on his appearance, and his new human "friends" seemed a bit uncomfortable with this, wondering how he would take it. Ulquiorra, however, could have laughed, had that been in his nature. Clearly they did not know his personal history: he had been "different" from the time he had emerged from the darkness so long ago. As a pure white Hollow in the midst of a world of blackness, he had been ostracized, feared, hated, and even attacked for his looks throughout his early life. It was a part of who he was; it was a part of what made him strong. He had not chosen to retain his natural appearance on a whim. He wore his uniqueness in defiance of any who would come against him. Let them come. The discomfort of the humans who knew what he was, stemming from the sneers of the other pathetic humans around them, was laughable. A few odd looks and strange comments from a group of young human trash were nothing to Ulquiorra; he would not waste the energy to even acknowledge them.

Of course, derision wasn't the only reaction he evoked. After being introduced as a transfer student from Europe, after pronouncing his own name in emotionless yet dulcet tones, and after walking to his assigned desk and seating himself with his powerful yet elegant movements, several of the female members of the class began to whisper to one another. His rich, black hair, his toned muscles, barely visible beneath the short sleeves of his uniform, his finely shaped features, and his exquisite eyes became the immediate fascination of those girls able to overlook his overly-slender figure and pale, weird skin color. The fact that he acknowledged none of them and spoke very little while never appearing shy, and the fact that he was self-confident, clearly displaying a great inner strength, while not exuding an aura of conceit, gave him an air of mystery, adding to the enchantment he inadvertently produced. Before the end of the day, he had garnered more than enough looks of interest. It was fortunate that his cold demeanor and intimidating gaze were sufficient to keep most from approaching him, but even these didn't stop the smiles and winks.

Noticing these reactions among the females caused consternation, disgust, and amusement respectively in the minds of Uryū, Ichigo, and Orihime. Ishida was wary, half-way hoping that Ulquiorra would be oblivious, and fully hoping that when and if the Hollow realized what they thought of him, he would choose to ignore it. Ichigo (usually blind to female emotions anyway, but hearing a few whispers that were obvious enough to make him unable to miss their meaning) decided that the thought made him sick. His first impulse was to confront Ulquiorra at the first opportunity and to warn him away from encouraging these schoolgirl crushes. Fortunately, for once, his brain actually caught up with his actions, and he realized that _this_ Arrancar would never lower himself even to acknowledge these "petty, human emotions." Ichigo then shrugged, deciding that there was no need to address the situation at all. Orihime, on the other hand, wanted to burst out laughing when she noticed it. She wondered whether Ulquiorra might blush with embarrassment when confronted with a starry-eyed girl, asking him on a date. Would he even know what a date was? Did he even know what kissing was? Again, she wanted to laugh, thinking of the somber Arrancar with a love-sick human on his arm. She wisely decided to hold her emotions in check until they were safely alone; then she would press him to see what _he_ thought of the subject.

Orihime had suggested that they leave the school going different ways each day, and that Ulquiorra could catch up to her on the way back. After all, he had his sonido, and she would just be walking. Ulquiorra had acquiesced without question; it was of no consequence to him. So, that afternoon, when they were again walking down the streets together well away from the school and friends, Orihime turned to him with a playful smile.

"Did you see how some of the girls looked at you?" she grinned. "I could hear them talking when Sensei introduced you to the class. They said you were cute!"

"Hm," was Ulquiorra's indifferent response.

"It's probably a good thing that you don't smile much right now," continued Orihime, "because if you did, I think that they would probably fall in love with you even more! But then again, maybe some of them like guys who are more serious. It makes most people seem smarter when they don't smile. Of course, I think you'd seem smart either way, but maybe that's just because I know you, and I already know that you're really smart."

Again, Orihime smiled up at him, but Ulquiorra didn't answer, walking calmly, eyes staring straight ahead of himself.

"So," began Orihime hesitantly. "What do you think about it?"

"About what?"

"About the girls being attracted to you?"

"It is to be expected."

At that, Orihime blinked in surprise. That clearly wasn't the reaction that she'd thought he'd have. "Huh?" she asked. "Really?"

"Human women will naturally seek a mate who they believe will give them strong or otherwise powerful or important offspring or who they believe will be able to protect them," continued Ulquiorra unperturbed. "They will be 'attracted' to those whom they believe most capable of this: hence, women with lower intelligence will attach themselves to someone such as Kurosaki Ichigo, whom they will be able to see is physically strong. Women with higher intellect will be attracted to someone such as the Quincy who shares that quality with them. For those with high spiritual pressure, it is to be expected that they will feel an attraction toward one of the same, although, in their case, they will likely not understand why. The human women who are attracted to me are simply those able to sense my strength without realizing my identity. If they knew what I was, then they would feel no such attraction."

"It sounds so unromantic, when you say it like that," murmured Orihime, hurting a little over being called unintelligent, even if he didn't know that he was doing it. "What about love? Love isn't always logical like that."

"Love is an imaginary human concept, most likely invented by weak men, unable to find mates otherwise, or by fragile-minded women, wanting to find some justification for an attraction that is, by nature, foolish."

"How can you say that?" exclaimed Orihime in horror. "Love is beautiful and strong and makes people do good things and help others. It makes people human. It's the most wonderful thing that anyone can ever feel!"

Ulquiorra looked at her but didn't answer.

"Maybe you've never felt love, but when you do, you'll understand," she continued. "It's something so amazing that you can't even describe it!"

"I see that you still delude yourself when it comes to the concept of human emotions," he replied, turning his eyes ahead of himself again unfeelingly. "You choose to believe something to be real because you want it to be real."

"Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean I'm wrong," countered Orihime. "I know that love is real."

"Your denial of fact is irrelevant to reality," was his cold reply.

"Love _is_ real!" snapped Orihime, growing angry despite herself. "I love my friends, and they love me too. Lots of people love each other, and you can see it when they're together."

"You, Inoue Orihime, always see in others what you wish to see," responded Ulquiorra. "You believe what you wish to believe about them, regardless of what they think or feel themselves. You believe that you love your friends, because you are afraid of being alone; you cling to others so that you may draw strength in numbers, believing that you are insufficient in and of yourself. This is likewise the reason that your friends cling both to each other and to you."

"That's not true," insisted Orihime, almost shuddering in horror. "That's not what love is. My friends and I . . . we do love each other."

"Your friends are weak on their own, hence they cling to you and to each other. This emotional bond is simply an admission of weakness."

"They came for me!" exclaimed Orihime. "They came to Hueco Mundo to rescue me! If it wasn't for love, then what was it? They risked their own lives to try to save me!"

"It was foolishness, as I said once before," he replied callously. "Although, with Kurosaki Ichigo, it was pride. His apparent caring for you is no more than a stroking of his own self-worth: the desire to prove his own strength and to deny weakness by refusing to allow harm to come to those whom he has stated that he will protect. He came to Hueco Mundo to test his own strength and to prove his own worth; nothing more."

"Stop it," she whispered.

"Your personal feelings and beliefs about others are delusions," he stated coldly. "Love does not exist."

"Stop it!" she cried, clenching her fists in fury. "Just stop! Love is the most beautiful and powerful thing in the world! It makes a person human, makes them good, and . . . and . . . and it's something that a heartless Hollow could never understand!" Turning away from him suddenly, she ran down the street toward her apartment, not looking back.

Ulquiorra looked after her in silence, not reacting to her words. For a long moment he stood there, not moving forward, immersed in his own thoughts. He wasn't sure why he so wanted her to understand the truth of what he was saying. He knew that if she realized that her dependence on her friends was merely an outworking of her own lack of faith in herself then she would surely see that she had but to strengthen herself in order not to require this weakness. Her friends made her weak, just as she made them weak. Together, they could each be manipulated by the others; alone, that would not be the case. It was true that she had not been strong enough to stand on her own against many of the enemies that had come against her, but that was no reason to delude herself into thinking of her companions as anything more than necessary accouterments in battle. To recognize her own weaknesses should make her want to grow stronger, not cause her to defend her mindless attachment to those whom she ought to wish to become unnecessary to her.

Perhaps she was ashamed of this weakness and wanted to deny it. Perhaps she took comfort in her delusion, believing it to be proof that she was not, in fact, weak. In that case, it was understandable that she would be angry and perhaps even embarrassed when he tore away the facade, revealing the truth for her to see. And yet, seeing that it was truth, she should learn to embrace it. It upset her now, but if it worked to make her stronger, then this fantasy of hers ought to be destroyed. There was no benefit in believing a lie. She should come to realize that.

Again, Ulquiorra wondered why he even cared what she felt. What difference did it make to him whether she believed in these naive concepts or not? He should be indifferent to it. She could think what she pleased. Even so, as he searched his own mind for the answers, he knew: she was strong; her friends were strong; and there was in them a strength that could not be explained by mere physical or spiritual prowess. Wasn't this the reason that he had come? To discover what gave them this strength? It was not possible that the basis lay in some non-existent emotional artifice, but it was in _something_ nonetheless. Perhaps this concept of love hid a deeper truth: one which he did not yet understand but which he might yet be able to discover. Perhaps that was why she defended it so ardently.

However, perhaps something else she said was also right: perhaps he, as a Hollow, was incapable of understanding.

It was not a pleasant thought, but it had to be considered.

Having reached an uncomfortable pause in his musings, Ulquiorra stepped forward again, following in the direction in which the woman had gone. To stand in the street, alone with his thoughts, was not an appropriate action here in the Land of the Living. Once again, he reminded himself that he was not in Las Noches. He was here as a human: he should attempt to comport himself as such.

The apartment was not far, and he arrived there shortly. Entering, he closed the door gently, removed his shoes, and walked into the main room. He could hear the sound of quiet whimpering, coming from the direction of her bedroom. He paused, listening, then stepped quietly toward it. The door was slightly ajar, and he lifted a hand to push it open, but then hesitated.

"May I come in?" he asked, feeling a bit strange for asking, but deciding that, because this was her domain rather than his, he should behave accordingly.

For a moment there was only a few sniffles, and then a quiet voice said, "Okay."

The door slid open silently beneath his touch, and Ulquiorra entered. Orihime sat on the edge of the bed, one arm pressing something to her chest while the other hand held a crumpled tissue. Ulquiorra now saw clearly that he had caused her pain by his words. It had not been his intent. He had wanted her to see the truth of what he was saying, and he had, at the time, been oblivious to her own feelings, but it had not been his desire to be cruel. As he looked at her now, he was struck with the similarity of the present to the second time that they met. Then he had taken her from her friends through his actions; now he was taking her from her friends through his words. But then she had been weak, unable to stand alone against the fearsome enemies that surrounded her. Now it was different: there were few enemies left that could come which she could not conquer. She had no need of her friends. Even so, he realized that she _wanted_ them, whether she understood why or not.

She was not ready to stand alone. He could see that. Her mind was so used to depending on others that she could not accept the possibility that she did not need them. Very well, he considered. If that was the case, he would humor her. She would either learn in time, or she would continue this way for the rest of her life, always relying on others. It made no difference to him. Rather, it _should_ make no difference to him.

Stepping forward again, Ulquiorra strode calmly to the bed and sat down beside her. Whether it was recompense for his having hurt her or simply repayment for her having provided him with a place to stay, he decided that it was his duty to offer her comfort at this time, seeing that it was he who had caused her this pain and that that was what she now required. It is true that he was still not familiar with the best means of doing so, but, fortunately for him, something about this particular situation was almost eerily familiar. As he had watched the tears still forming in her eyes, though she fought to keep them from falling, two voices from the past had come back to Ulquiorra's mind:

 _"A gentle touch says a lot."_ That, combined with, _"You don't have to say anything; just sit and listen."_

He hadn't understood it then; he didn't fully understand it now; but he remembered that it had worked then, so long ago. Why not try again? Without a word, he extended his hand, placed it gently on her shoulder, and waited. For a time, Orihime continued to sniffle, not looking at him. She didn't speak; she didn't move, other than to wipe her eyes whenever a new tear fell. Ulquiorra was patient, however. He didn't move either. At last, taking a trembling breath, she loosened her grip on what she was holding and looked down at a smiling picture of a young man with black hair.

"My brother," she murmured. "Sora."

Ulquiorra looked at the picture silently.

"He took me away when I was a child," continued Orihime. "He took care of me. He kept me safe, and . . . and . . . and he loved me." She shook her head, apparently trying not to cry again. "Love is real! There wasn't any other reason for him to take care of me! He could have gone alone; he could have left me. He didn't have to be burdened by a crying, baby sister. I wasn't any help to him at all. I made it harder for him, really. But he took care of me anyway, because that's who he was: he was a good person. Because . . . because he loved me!" She paused and again wiped her eyes. "After he died, he turned into a Hollow and attacked me and Tatsuki-chan. But then, when I told him that I still loved him, he . . . he . . . ." Her voice broke, and she began to sob, pressing the tissue to her face.

Ulquiorra continued to sit silently, looking down at the picture. He said nothing, because there was nothing to say. He did not understand the workings of "family," but he had never tried. So, she had had a brother. He would not offer an opinion on that subject; he had no opinion to give. Finally, Orihime regained control of herself.

"Sora gave his life for me," she whispered. "He died; he killed himself with Kurosaki-kun's Zanpakutō to make sure that he never hurt me. He . . . he loved me." She turned to look Ulquiorra straight in his cold, green eyes. "Love is real," she breathed. "No matter what you say."

Ulquiorra simply met her gaze calmly, still saying nothing. She searched his eyes, her own brown ones looking deeply into that emerald abyss, searching for something, but she could find nothing there. If he felt anything, it wasn't up for display. Finally, she sighed, lowering her gaze. She blew her nose, then toyed with the tissue, not looking at him.

"You think I'm just a silly, weak, emotional human, don't you?" she asked sadly.

For a moment longer, Ulquiorra didn't move. Then, gently, he lifted his hand from her shoulder and laid it beside her hand, his ivory skin and black fingernails contrasting sharply with her own soft, pink skin.

"Kurosaki said that I look like a freak," he said calmly, looking down at their hands. "Do you agree with him?"

Orihime blinked in surprise. He certainly had a way of saying what she never expected. "Huh?" she asked.

"I could look like you now, if I wanted," he continued. "Urahara and Kurosaki both wanted me to look like the other humans here. I refused, because that's not who I am. This is who I am. This is who I want to be. It doesn't matter what others think of me; it will not change who I am." He again looked into her eyes directly. "You are a strong woman, though you are human," he said tonelessly. "If others think you weak or silly or emotional, then what does it matter? You should know who you are. If you are who you want to be, then disregard them. If you are not who you want to be, then change yourself. It does not matter what anyone thinks of you. It does not even matter what I think of you. It should never matter. Know who you are yourself, not what others think you ought to be."

Orihime just stared at him. As he watched, tears again formed in her eyes and her lips began to tremble. Suddenly, she leaned forward, wrapped her arms around him, and pressed her head to his shoulder, again crying softly.

"Thank you," she sobbed.

Ulquiorra didn't move at first. He wanted to tell her that it was silly to thank him, seeing that he had merely stated a fact, but he didn't think that it would do any good while she was so emotional. He didn't understand why she was so emotional over something so simple. When she didn't let go, he moved his own hand to her shoulder again, thinking that she would prefer that. He then waited in silence while she gradually calmed herself.

"I'm sorry I called you a heartless Hollow," she whispered at last.

"There is no reason for you to apologize," was his simple reply. "What you said was true: I am a heartless Hollow."

"No." She shook her head against his shoulder, holding him more firmly. "No, you're not. I won't believe that."

Ulquiorra found himself almost amused by her words. She still believed only what she wanted to believe. No matter what he said, she would not be swayed from her own, emotional convictions about the world and about the people in it. Somehow though, that made her who she was, and Ulquiorra found that who she was was now beginning to fascinate him once again **.**


	8. Life Goes On

_**Chapter 8**_

 **Life Goes On**

* * *

Later that evening found Ulquiorra walking alone through the streets of Karakura town toward Urahara's Shop. Orihime had finally calmed her emotions and decided to make supper, so Ulquiorra had decided that it would be the perfect time for him to fetch the soul removal device which the Shinigami scientist/shopkeeper had said would be complete by now. Before he left, Orihime told him that she would save him a plate of food, "to see if he would like this recipe." To this, Ulquiorra had given no response, other than to say that it was unnecessary; he had no need of human sustenance.

Arriving at the shop, Kisuke greeted him with his usual excitement, again seeming very proud of his success. He presented Ulquiorra with a simple, black belt that had a small, round buckle affixed to it. On the inside, a fiery, blue-and-white skull insignia could be seen. The plain, round front housed a spring which would trigger with pressure, launching the spirit of the one wearing the belt from the gigai in which it was housed. Ulquiorra tested it, found it satisfactory, and offered Urahara a simple acknowledgement of gratitude.

"Before you go, Ulquiorra-san," interposed Kisuke as the Arrancar turned to leave, "there is someone who would like to speak with you."

Ulquiorra looked at him calmly.

"Your Shinigami friend told me the whole story," smiled Kisuke, his face now looking more serious and less silly. "I admit I was surprised. I wonder: would you tell me yourself your reasons for saving him? It seems so unlike an Arrancar."

Ulquiorra returned his gaze. "No," he replied simply.

Kisuke's eyebrows rose. "You won't tell me?" he asked.

"I will not."

With another smile, Kisuke nodded. "Very well," he said. Turning toward the back of the shop, he called, "Yamada-san! Ulquiorra-san is here, and we've finished, if you'd like to see him before he goes." Smiling then to Ulquiorra once more, Kisuke moved to leave the room.

As he did so, a much smaller Shinigami shuffled into the room, his head bowing low and his hands clasped nervously in front of himself.

"Ulquiorra-sama," he nearly stuttered. "Forgive me for taking your time."

Ulquiorra said nothing.

"I-I-I will be leaving soon," continued Hanatarō. "Urahara-san has sent word to Unohana-taichō, explaining what happened, and she has said that she will send someone to bring me home. She said that it was not my fault that I was left behind." He chuckled nervously. "I might be in a little trouble for not trying to come back earlier, but Unohana-taichō said that it would all be fine soon enough."

He smiled awkwardly at the Espada, but the latter still did not speak.

"I . . . I wanted . . . to say thank you," stammered Hanatarō. "You didn't have to save my life or keep me safe. I never thought that a Hollow would protect a Shinigami. And . . . and you were right; I should have come to the Land of the Living from the start. I suppose I'm just too much of a coward."

Again, he paused, but again he received no response.

"Um," Hanatarō licked his lips. "I suppose . . . I mean . . . I guess that that's all. Um . . . thank you?"

Ulquiorra turned his eyes away to gaze at the wall.

"I have no need of your thanks," he said simply.

"I . . . I wish that I could do something to help you too."

Ulquiorra moved only his eyes to look at him.

"The very idea is ludicrous."

Hanatarō lowered his own eyes. "Yes, sir, I know that it is," he agreed quietly. "I just wish that I could." He chuckled nervously again, and then carefully lifted his gaze. "If there is ever any way that I can be of service to you, Ulquiorra-sama, please tell me."

Ulquiorra said nothing, so Hanatarō merely offered him a nervous smile before bowing low again and leaving the room.

Once the pathetic little figure was gone, Urahara again entered. He smiled kindly.

"Whatever your reasons, Ulquiorra-san, you did a very kind thing in saving his life and in keeping him safe," he said. "From talking with him, I don't think that Yamada-san has ever had a real friend."

"Hm," was Ulquiorra's indifferent response.

"At least you don't object to being called his friend," grinned Kisuke mischievously.

"Had I any reason to care what you thought of me," replied Ulquiorra, "then I would correct your misconceptions. But I have no reason to do so." He looked Urahara in the eye. "If you wish to consider me to have been 'kind,' then it is of no concern to me. I am indifferent to your opinion."

Urahara simply smiled in response. "Has anyone ever told you that you are an enigma, Ulquiorra-san?"

To this Ulquiorra gave no answer, choosing instead to simply leave the shop, having no further reason to stay. Watching him go, Urahara continued to grin.

* * *

Back at the apartment again that evening, Orihime watched with great pleasure as Ulquiorra diligently worked on his "homework" from his first day of school. As with everything that he did, the Espada focused his attention on the task at hand, working calmly and efficiently, never getting distracted. Orihime was both impressed and jealous. She wished that she could work like that. She tried to do her own homework also, but she found her eyes often wandering to Ulquiorra's paper, mesmerized by his silken movements as he inscribed such beautiful texts on the white pages.

"Oh!" she exclaimed suddenly. "You missed that one!"

Ulquiorra glanced up at her as Orihime pointed to one of the problems.

"That one is wrong," she said.

"Yes," replied Ulquiorra. "I know."

Orihime blinked. "But . . . why don't you change it?"

"I am obtrusive enough in your school already through my appearance," answered Ulquiorra, returning to his work as he spoke. "Kurosaki informed me today that those with high grades are recognized publicly for their accomplishments. I need no further recognition than I have already received. Indeed, I would prefer to remain inconspicuous while I am here, as much as is possible."

"So you answered the question wrong on purpose?"

Ulquiorra again lifted his gaze to meet hers.

"I believe that that is what I just said."

"B-b-but," stuttered Orihime, clearly confused, "don't you want to do the best that you can?"

"I know my abilities; I know the answers. I have no need to prove my knowledge. Neither have I any need of this education in the first place."

"Oh, I guess not. I mean, I suppose algebra wouldn't be much use in Hueco Mundo, would it?" Orihime tilted her head with a curious gaze. "Do Hollows have any sort of schools?"

"We train ourselves in combat," replied Ulquiorra, turning back to his work. "But, in answer to your question, no, there is no formal system of education in Hueco Mundo. There is neither need nor desire among the Hollows for it."

"Hm," replied Orihime, frowning. "That's a little sad. Although, I suppose it would be hard to teach a class full of young Arrancar. I know that Grimmjow would always be standing in the corner for not sitting still in class. And I'm sure that Nnoitra would always be pestering the girls in the class, so he'd be getting into trouble too. Maybe if Aizen-taichō was the principal, then they'd behave, because then the teacher would just have to threaten to send them to the principal's office unless they behave, and then they'd be sure to apologize for whatever they'd been doing wrong and then be good for the rest of the period. Oh! Can you imagine if Kurosaki-kun was in charge of P.E.? He'd get all of the boys to work out their energy with no problem! Although, he'd probably have to give both Grimmjow and Nnoitra extra laps, and then they'd both get detention, because they'd start fighting with each other, and Kurosaki-kun couldn't stop them, no matter what he said, even if he said that he'd send them to the principal, because, by then, they'd be too caught up in their fight with each other that they wouldn't be able to think about anything else, even if it meant that they were going to get into trouble, so they would──"

By this point, Ulquiorra had completely forgotten his work as he sat silently, just staring at her, as Orihime continued to describe a day in the life of this imaginary Arrancar Elementary School, complete with teachers, students, a grading system, punishments, rewards, and homework, all somehow related to Hollows and Hueco Mundo.

"──and then Tesla-kun would come and say that it was all _his_ fault, so Ichimaru-Sensei would finally say that Nnoitra could go home for supper, as long as they both promised that it would never happen again."

Orihime grinned broadly, happy that she had resolved the terrible trouble into which the rambunctious youngsters had managed to entangle themselves. Ulquiorra continued to stare at her in silence, eyes slightly widened.

"Well? Don't you think that that was nice of Tesla-kun?" asked Orihime.

Ulquiorra blinked. "I am trying to unravel the workings of your mind," he replied. "I cannot, at this time, make any sense of it."

"Well, you probably just don't know how to use your imagination," smiled Orihime. "You should practice! It's lots of fun. It's where you think of things that haven't really happened but might happen. You can invent all sorts of stories!"

"Before entering a battle, I do consider all possible outcomes," replied Ulquiorra. "I must be able to predict what my enemy will do in any given circumstance, so that I am able to prevent or counter it."

"Hm," considered Orihime. "I suppose that that's sort of like imagination, but that's not fun."

"I wonder whether your mind, if turned in a different direction, could plan a battle," mused Ulquiorra. "You seem capable of 'imagining' the most bizarre outcomes possible, or impossible, as the case may be."

"Oh, I'd love to plan a battle, if everyone would fight by my rules!" exclaimed Orihime, clapping her hands. "We could all fight with water pistols! It would be the Hollows against the Shinigami, and my friends and I could split up and be on each team, and the winners would be the ones at the end with the most water left in their pistols, because that means that they were just trying to have fun and not actually hurt the other team!" She beamed at her roommate. "Who do you think would win?"

Ulquiorra just stared at her. "What you are saying," he began slowly, "makes no sense."

"Can't you _try_ to imagine it?" begged Orihime. "Imagine if the Hollows and Shinigami were actually friends. Wouldn't that be wonderful?"

"It is inconceivable."

"Well, can't you at least try?"

Ulquiorra set down his pen and straightened his posture a bit more, such that he was sitting stiffly. "I need not 'try'," he replied. "I have seen an attempt at what you suggest. I have no desire to repeat the experience."

"Really?" Orihime's eyes widened. "There was a time that Hollows and Shinigami were friends? How? When?"

"There were only three Shinigami," Ulquiorra answered coldly, "and the rest of Soul Society opposed them. Their names were Aizen, Tōsen, and Ichimaru."

Orihime's face fell. "Oh," she murmured. "I . . . wasn't thinking of that."

"Even in that case," continued Ulquiorra, "it could not be considered 'friendship,' to use your wording. The three Shinigami used the Hollows to do their bidding and to accomplish their purposes. We were nothing to them but weapons to be wielded as needed. They were nothing to us but strong allies, creating a united front, in order to conquer our enemies. There can be no true alliance between the Hollows and the Shinigami."

"But maybe if you tried..."

"The purpose of the Shinigami is to kill Hollows; the purpose of Hollows is to feed and to survive. These are, and always will be, incompatible."

Orihime lowered her eyes sadly. She knew that what he was saying was true. Even so, it didn't stop her from wishing that it could be otherwise.

* * *

It was the third day of living the life of a high school student for Ulquiorra, and he now seemed to be well-accustomed to the general flow of the day. From the start, Uryū had been watchful and cautious. His initial reaction to the idea of an Arrancar (let alone the Cuatro Espada himself!) actually staying in the Land of the Living had been one of shock and horror. He had heard the details of the first battle from Kurosaki: the substitute Shinigami, even with his Hollowfied bankai, had not been able to even fight back against Ulquiorra's _first_ release. His second release had been beyond Kurosaki's ability even to follow in its movement, let alone defend against it. It was only by his mindless conversion to a full Hollow himself that Kurosaki had been able to overcome him. With that option no longer available, there was no one (so far as Uryū was aware) in Hueco Mundo, the Land of the Living, or even in Soul Society who could defeat him. The idea of him now staying here, living among them, was disconcerting at best and terrifying at worst.

As he had observed the Espada in Kurosaki's room, standing there so calmly as they discussed his presence, Uryū had been forced to consider the proposition seriously. If the Arrancar wanted to stay, then there was nothing that any of them could do to refuse him. But why would he choose to stay? This was what confused the Quincy. Now, almost four days later, Uryū still did not know _why_ the Espada chose to be here, but he had to admit that the other seemed to be no real threat. Whatever his motives may have been, they didn't seem to be evil. Of course, Uryū had to admit, even if the Arrancar's intentions _were_ evil, there wasn't much that they could do to stop him.

Of the small group of human friends, Uryū's spiritual perception was, by far, the strongest. He could feel every fluctuation of the Espada's reiatsu, and he understood its power. Likewise, his mind was strong, and he felt that he had ─ at least moderately ─ gauged the strength of the other's mental capabilities. He was not optimistic, if the Espada decided to one day turn against them. He could only hope that that would not happen, or that the other would decide to return to Hueco Mundo before that happened.

It could have been this spiritual sensitivity that caused Ishida alone among them to sense the seeming discomfort of the Arrancar. He had noticed it from the second day. Ulquiorra seemed perfectly capable of regulating his own reiatsu, keeping it at a low enough level that any Shinigami who was not near to him should not guess who it was that was here, in the Land of the Living. Even so, from the morning of the second day, Uryū had begun to sense irregularities. At first, he wondered whether Ulquiorra himself sensed it. Knowing the intelligence and strength of the latter, he didn't doubt that he did, but he wondered, nonetheless, why these were occurring. At random times, seemingly for no reason, Ulquiorra's reiatsu would become unstable, oft times spiking sharply. They never lasted long; Ulquiorra would always reign in his errant energy in short order. The Espada would also never react outwardly, giving Uryū the impression that it was either unintentional, or that the Espada at least preferred others not to notice. Uryū chose never to mention it, seeing that there was nothing he could have done anyway. He simply observed, trying to plan what he would do if it seemed to become a threat.

Hollows still appeared in Karakura town, and Sado and Uryū would usually take turns dealing with those which they considered strong enough to possibly be inconvenient for their locally assigned Shinigami. ( _Really,_ thought Uryū, _that pathetic being is a disgrace, even to Soul Society!_ ) The first time that it happened while Ulquiorra was present, Uryū had observed him closely, curious about the other's reaction. The Arrancar had simply not reacted. Uryū had been able to see that the other sensed the Hollow, and, when Sado had left the room quickly and the Hollow presence faded shortly thereafter, followed by the timely return of the large boy, Uryū had no doubt that Ulquiorra would understand what was happening. Even so, the Espada said nothing.

By the fourth afternoon, Uryū was nearly able to ignore Ulquiorra's presence in class. Whatever the Arrancar's motives for being there, he clearly had no intention of causing trouble. Or so he thought.

It was near the end of class, and most of the students barely awake for the end of the afternoon lessons, when Uryū felt a reiatsu more powerful than any that had come in months (aside from the Espada's, of course). He froze. This had the level of a Menos ─ most likely an Adjucas. Uryū glanced at Sado, and the other gave a slight nod. It would require both of them this time. Inadvertently, he even caught Orihime's eye as she looked at the two of them, silently questioning whether she should come as well. To be honest, Uryū wasn't sure, and he suspected that his look informed her of that. With an enemy of this level, it was very possible that they would need healing afterward. Mentally bracing himself and turning to the front, Uryū started to stand. Before he could do so, however, Ulquiorra rose suddenly to his feet.

"Sensei," he said calmly. "May I be excused for a moment?"

Uryū stared at him. The Arrancar had never tried to leave the room during class. It didn't seem possible that this could be coincidence. Could it?

The instructor nodded his permission, and Ulquiorra stepped toward the door, ignoring the heavy stares at his back. As he reached the exit, however, he paused and glanced directly at Uryū, his firm gaze clearly communicating his intention:

 _Let me handle this one._

* * *

Kurumadani cursed his luck. The one time he might actually get to fight a powerful Hollow ─ might actually get to do his _own job_ ─ without interference from those pesky, human kids, it would have to be a Hollow of _this_ strength! The big brown and yellow figure wasn't especially intimidating in size, but he certainly packed a punch. The Shinigami hadn't been able to land a single hit yet, and the beast didn't seem even to be trying. When the Hollow dodged yet another attack and slammed a fist into the side of his opponent, throwing the latter into the pavement two stories below, Kurumadani groaned and grit his teeth, forcing himself back to his feet.

"You freaky monster," panted the thick-haired Shinigami, staring up at the ugly figure on the roof above. "You think that that's enough to stop me?"

The Hollow cackled, showing a double-row of sharp teeth. "I sensed strong spirit energy in this area," it replied. "I thought I'd find good feeding. But you! You're hardly worth my time!"

"Oh, yeah? Well, we'll see about that!" The Shinigami drew back his Zanpakutō, preparing to release his Shikai. He grinned broadly. "Now, you'll feel my wrath!" he cried. " _Ohayō_ ──"

Before he could even register the arrival of the newcomer, an unexpected blow struck Kurumadani in the back of the head. Everything went black, and he fell to the ground with another groan, unconscious.

"Oh?" called the Hollow, sounding amused. "What's this now?" He grinned from his perch, looking down now into a set of cold, emerald eyes. "You seem to have a little more spiritual pressure than he did. Maybe I will feed well today after all. Come on! Don't try to run; I'm _very_ hungry today!"

"What a coincidence," replied the other, moving a finger to his belt. "So am I."

* * *

Ulquiorra stood calmly on the roof of a tall building, gazing out at the city. He hadn't been exactly 'hungry,' but it had felt good to feed nonetheless. It had been a long time. He didn't need it for sustenance; as he had told Orihime, he had no need of eating now. Even so, living here, in human form, surrounded by humans, behaving as a human, it seemed expedient to remind himself from time to time of what he truly was. He wasn't human.

"Hey," called a voice near to him. "Did you forget something?"

Ulquiorra had sensed the arrival of the Quincy, but he had chosen to ignore it. Turning his gaze to him now, he saw the latter standing at the other end of the roof, holding a limp form.

"You shouldn't leave this where other 'normal' people might find it," continued Uryū, bringing the gigai forward and laying it on the roof. "It'll attract too much attention."

"Hm," replied Ulquiorra, turning away again.

"So, I see that the soul removal device Urahara-san made works," observed Uryū. "Still, you may want to be careful; his inventions aren't foolproof. I'd suggest that you _not_ enter into any battles that you couldn't win in gigai form, unless you've already removed it."

This time, Ulquiorra didn't respond. Uryū stepped forward to stand next to him, turning to look at the town below them likewise. For a short time, the two stood there in silence.

"Did any of the other Espada survive?" Uryū asked at last.

"To my knowledge," answered Ulquiorra, "no."

"So you're the last of your kind?"

"Hollows will always evolve. Menos will arise; Adjucas will emerge; Vasto Lorde will be born. If I am the last, it is only a temporary condition."

"But you were created with the Hōgyoku."

"No," replied Ulquiorra calmly. "I am one of only two Espada who were not created with the Hōgyoku."

Uryū lifted an eyebrow, looking at Ulquiorra in surprise. He didn't express it in words, however, turning back to the view before them and replying simply, "I see." He pushed his glasses back, clearing his throat uncomfortably. "I know that you and I are complete opposites," he began. "You are a Hollow; I am a Quincy. But . . . I do know how it feels to be the last of my kind."

Again, Ulquiorra said nothing.

"It's a feeling that most people don't understand," continued Uryū. "The feeling of being separate and unique; the feeling of being alone, even when surrounded by others. It's as if you can stand in the midst of thousands of people and yet not be a part of any of them, knowing that none of them will ever be like you. The pride we feel in our race ─ in our uniqueness ─ may be comforting, but . . . it still means being alone." Again, he paused before continuing. "You mentioned that Kurosaki interested you and that you would be willing to learn more of him. He is the reason that I am no longer alone, though I am still the last of the Quincies. I have found that although others may be different from myself, yet there may be commonalities that I once overlooked, because I focused only on that which is different." He turned to look at the Espada. "It is possible that, if you try, you will find that you have more in common with those around you than you imagine."

For a short time, Ulquiorra continued to stare calmly ahead of himself, saying nothing.

"Why is it," he asked at last, "that humans feel the need to share empathy with others?"

Uryū blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Kurosaki tried to tell me that I am like him," replied Ulquiorra, "that he 'knows how I _feel_.' Now you say the same. Why? Why is it that you both feel the need to share similar circumstances with others?"

"It's a part of being human," replied Ishida. "And it's what forms the basis for any amicable relationship. Where commonalities can be recognized, understanding can occur."

"I am not human."

"You were once."

Ulquiorra looked at him then. "I lost that which made me human long ago."

"You're speaking of the human heart, I know," replied Ishida. "I know how Hollows are created. Personally though, I don't agree with the Shinigami assessment there. If it's the heart that makes a person human, then there are humans who are less 'human' than Hollows."

Ulquiorra didn't respond. He simply looked at the Quincy, waiting for the other to continue.

"Do you know one of the major differences between Quincies and Shinigami, apart from how we kill?" asked Uryū. "The Shinigami hunt and kill Hollows because of what they are; Quincies hunt and kill Hollows because of what they _do_. A Quincy would not restrict himself to harming only Hollows; if a human was a threat to other humans, then a Quincy would not hesitate to destroy him. If a Shinigami is a threat, the Quincy will likewise destroy him." He looked at Ulquiorra again. "Why else would I, a Quincy, be standing here, having a conversation with an Arrancar? Despite what you are, Kurosaki is correct: apart from myself and him, you haven't harmed anyone here, so far as I know, nor do I see any indication that you plan to do so."

Still, Ulquiorra said nothing.

"I've wanted to ask you since you came," continued Uryū, turning now to face Ulquiorra fully. "Why are you here? And should I consider you to be a threat?"

There was then silence between them as Ulquiorra considered his answer. Uryū waiting patiently, giving the other time.

"I eschew meaningless violence," said Ulquiorra at last. "I am no threat to those who are not my enemies."

Ishida nodded. "Should I take your answer to mean that you will not tell me why you are here?"

"I am here for information," replied Ulquiorra, turning away again. "That is all."

Without another word, he lifted the discarded gigai, donned it, glanced once more at Uryū, and then sonidoed away.

* * *

 _ **A/N: It is true that Ulquiorra was an Arrancar before joining Aizen's army, so I didn't make that up.**_

 _ **Also, credit where credit is due: Orihime's imaginary "Espada Elementary School" was inspired by the fan-fic "** My Espada Boys **" by** TheCatWithTheHat **. That fan-fic has also inspired me with another idea for an AU adventure which I would love to write someday.**_

 _ **Thanks in advance for any and all reviews!**_


	9. Touch the Stars

_**Chapter 9**_

 **Touch the Stars**

* * *

Ulquiorra sat on the roof of the human woman's apartment, considering all that he had learned thus far. He knew that there was some reason that this small group of humans had such unexpected strength and resilience, and he had assumed that it would be some single secret which they all shared. Now, however, he was no longer sure of that. Each one was so different from the others.

He considered Kurosaki first: the substitute Shinigami was brash, hot-headed, violent, and perfectly unpredictable. He would do battle with an ally as soon as with an enemy. And yet he would show compassion to an enemy as soon as to an ally. It was as if he viewed all people in the same way: not truly as friend or foe, excepting only his closest companions. Regarding others, those who hurt those weaker than themselves were wrong; those who protected those weaker than themselves were right. It didn't matter whether the person hurting or being hurt was a human, Hollow, or Shinigami. Kurosaki would fight anyone or anything, but he would not hurt anyone without reason. Likewise he would protect anyone or anything, though his reasons were not always clear to Ulquiorra. Even his enemies, when they were defeated, Kurosaki would allow to live. He had strength, but he had no need to flaunt it. He would fight to prove his own worth to himself, not to others. In addition, he had no fear; he never accepted the possibility that he himself would lose. When Ulquiorra had held Kurosaki's life in his hand, the human boy had not felt fear. How was this human's mind to be rationalized? Was it even possible to understand him?

Next, Ulquiorra considered the Quincy: this boy was very different from Kurosaki. He considered his actions, much as Ulquiorra did himself. He held no false hopes regarding success and failure. When he was outmatched, he would find a way to win using intelligence rather than strength. When this failed, he would seek another way. He would not give up, but, unlike Kurosaki, it was not a blind belief that he _would_ not lose, but rather a quiet determination to continue trying until he could no longer do so. Also unlike Kurosaki, the Quincy was willing to die for his friends. This was evident in his battle with Ulquiorra atop the dome of Las Noches. In trying to buy time for the woman to heal the substitute Shinigami, the Quincy had attacked Ulquiorra himself. He had had no hope of winning; indeed, looking at him, Ulquiorra could see toward the end that the boy fully expected to die. Even so, he was willing to continue fighting in order to buy his friends a bit more time. Kurosaki was different: he would not admit defeat; he would not accept the possibility of his own death. When Ulquiorra had fought him the first time, Kurosaki had continued to press his Zanpakutō against Ulquiorra, even when Kurosaki himself could not stand, could scarcely breathe, and had yet to inflict a single scratch on the Espada. It took Ulquiorra literally ripping the life from the boy for him to stop, and, even then, Ulquiorra wasn't sure that Kurosaki had accepted his own defeat. How different was the Quincy who could both face and accept death and continue to fight, never surrendering, for the sake of his friends. What could the motivation be for that?

Finally, Ulquiorra turned his thoughts to the woman. She was different from both. From the time that Ulquiorra had first come to the Land of the Living with Yammy on that fateful day, she had been made aware of the fact that she could not fight them. She could, perhaps, offer a small defense, and she was certainly able to help in rejecting the injuries dealt to her friends, but she could not fight. She was strong for a human; it was likely that no other human could defeat her, apart from her friends. Even most Shinigami could not have overcome her, if she truly fought with all her strength. But the Espada were so far above her that she was nothing compared to them. Even so, she was willing to look Ulquiorra himself in the eye and declare with no shred of deceit that she was not afraid. Did that courage stem from her trust in her friends that they would save her? Or did it stem from her trust in fate itself that no harm would befall her? Or was it not courage but rather foolishness? How could she stand against an overwhelmingly powerful enemy and yet feel no fear? She was not like Kurosaki who simply denied the possibility of defeat; she was not like the Quincy who accepted the possibility and yet fought regardless; she was different. She confused him. Even now, after spending so much time with her and with her friends, the woman still had the ability to leave him wondering.

* * *

Orihime had finished the supper dishes, and Ulquiorra still hadn't come down from the roof. She could sense his presence there. She knew that he had left his gigai in the apartment, so she guessed that he just wanted some time alone to think. Still, it had been some time now. She hoped that he wouldn't mind if she just went to check on him.

Climbing carefully onto the roof, she smiled as Ulquiorra turned his gaze to look at her.

"Hi," she called. "Would you like some company?"

"I have no objection to you joining me, if that is what you are asking," replied Ulquiorra.

Taking this as an invitation, Orihime carefully walked across the peak to sit next to him. For a time then, they sat in comfortable silence. The sounds of the evening drifted around them. A gentle breeze moved playfully across the roof. As Ulquiorra sat still, staring blankly before himself, Orihime closed her eyes, let her head lean back, and sighed in contentment. The night was so peaceful and so beautiful. She wondered why she didn't come to the roof more often. She remembered Tōshirō spending a lot of time up here when he would stay with her, but she had supposed that it was in order to get away from Rangiku for a little while. Maybe it wasn't. She gazed up at the stars, lost for the time in the wonder of the night sky.

"They're so beautiful," she breathed.

Ulquiorra glanced at her without speaking.

"The stars," Orihime clarified. "It's just so beautiful tonight."

"Hm," was his only response as he turned again to face in front of himself.

"There weren't any stars in Hueco Mundo," mused Orihime. "I liked to watch the moon and try to imagine that there were stars, but there weren't. It was just one big, empty sky." She sighed. "That was sad." She turned to look at Ulquiorra, but he still did not respond. "Do you like the stars?" she asked.

"I had not considered them," was his toneless reply.

"You should! They're beautiful and bright and sparkling; they might make you happy! When I was little, I always wanted to fly up into the night sky and gather a string of stars so that I could wear it like a headband in my hair, and then I'd make a cloud castle in the clouds, like a sand castle on the beach, and then I could ride the clouds through the night and always stay ahead of the sun, so that the stars would always be shining." Turning to him again, Orihime continued, "Don't you think that that would be fun?"

"You could never fly to the stars," replied Ulquiorra calmly. "They are too far distant. Nor could you shape the clouds if you touched them."

Orihime sighed and gave a little pout. "Can't you use your imagination at all?" she sulked. "Can't you at least _try_? Imagine living in the clouds and being able to touch the stars!"

Ulquiorra blinked and again turned to look her in the eye. Clearly he sensed that this was one of the times that she wasn't making sense in reality, but that somehow it made sense in her own mind. Orihime returned the gaze, almost sadly, wishing that he could just say, 'Yes, Orihime, it would be fun to fly to the stars.' She knew he'd never actually say that though. She wished that she could show him the pleasures of using imagination, but she was beginning to think that that would always be impossible. Perhaps this was why she was so startled by his next question.

"Would you like to fly _toward_ the stars?" he asked.

Orihime's eyes popped open wide in surprise. This wasn't a request for information; it was an offer. He was suggesting that they ... that they _fly_ to the stars! Bursting into a wide grin, she clapped her hands in delight.

"Yes!" she cried. "Oh, yes, yes, _yes_!"

Ulquiorra seemed to be a bit taken aback by her exuberance, but he seemed, by now, to be well enough acquainted with her strange moods that he did not react beyond the slightest widening of his eyes. Silently he rose to his feet, offering a hand to assist her in doing likewise.

"Come," he said simply.

Orihime jumped up, balancing on the rooftop, wondering what would happen next. Taking her left hand in his right, he lifted it, turned, and drew her hand over his left shoulder.

"Place your arms around my neck," he instructed.

Orihime obeyed, still curious about what he had in mind. She was now standing almost flat against his back, holding onto him from behind, as his left hand held her wrists at his throat.

" _Enclose, Murcielago_ ," he murmured.

Orihime gasped and gripped his neck in surprise as two black wings suddenly grew out of his shoulders, spreading out on either side of her. His mask too shifted its form, such that it covered only the top of his head, now with two horns instead of one. His jacket lengthened, although the sleeves melted away entirely.

Before Orihime could question, the massive black wings spread and flapped downward, lifting the two of them into the air.

"Oh!" squealed Orihime, gripping him tightly and squeezing her eyes shut in fear and excitement. His hand still held her wrists such that she knew she wouldn't fall, but she clung to him tightly just the same. It was irrational, but she felt almost sure that she would fall off if she opened her eyes. She could feel the wind around her; she could feel the power of his huge wings, pumping the air as they rose higher and higher into the night sky. Somehow though, she couldn't open her eyes to look.

"Are you ready to go higher?" she heard Ulquiorra's gentle query.

Not wanting to admit that she was afraid (and knowing that she shouldn't be), she simply nodded into his shoulder and murmured, "Y-yes."

Again, his voice came in a whisper, not speaking to her: " _Segunda etapa_."

Then she felt it: that unbelievably powerful reiatsu which Ishida had described as like "an ocean above the sky." It was no wonder that he had wanted to come so high before releasing it. Even at this distance, she was sure that Ishida and Sado would both be feeling his presence powerfully. It billowed out from him, surrounding her, almost drowning her. She could scarcely breathe! If it weren't for his grip on her wrists, she suspected that she would have let go and fallen from the shock alone. No sooner had it been released, however, before she felt him drawing the reiatsu back into himself, suppressing the overwhelming presence as well as he could. It was still powerful, but she found that she could breathe again.

Opening her eyes at last, Orihime saw that they were skimming quickly through the night sky, his body almost parallel with the earth as she practically lay on his back, her arms still around his neck. The lights of the town were lit below them, obscured now and then by the clouds over which they passed. It was beautiful... And it was terrible.

She had felt the change in the hand that still held hers, and she turned her eyes to see. A shudder of horror passed through her as she saw the black, demonic claw, gripping her wrist. Turning her face again, she saw that his Hollow's mask too was completely gone, and two long horns, looking like something from a horror story, now grew out of his long black hair. His face ─ what little she could see of it ─ had turned into that terrifying vision that she had seen only once above the dome of Las Noches: the long, black tear-stains, the yellow eyes with green irises, the whole aura of despair that emanated from him now. So many horrible memories came flooding back to her: the fight above the dome; Ulquiorra calmly and cruelly blasting a hole through Kurosaki-kun's chest and then blocking her way when she wanted to heal him; the horrific transformation of Kurosaki-kun himself; the power of the two Hollows as they fought, each trying to kill the other. It was terrible! Orihime pressed her eyes shut again, trying to block out the nightmare that threatened to overtake her senses.

It's true that she didn't mind thinking of Las Noches anymore; she'd even told Tatsuki-chan the whole story eventually. She was willing to discuss it with her friends when it came up in conversation. But there was one part about which she never spoke; one section of her time there that she had tried desperately to forget: the horrific fight above the dome. Kurosaki-kun had become that which she wished never to remember. Ulquiorra, her calm, stoic, protecting guard had become something which she wished never to remember. The memories that she did have still visited her in nightmares, and she tried always to forget them. She knew that Kurosaki-kun would never become that again; somehow she hadn't considered that Ulquiorra might. Why had she supposed that he wouldn't? But now, she couldn't escape it. The fearful form was pressed against her, or rather she was pressed against it, and she couldn't get away. She fought against tears as she continued to try to block the memories from coming over her.

Ulquiorra's flying slowed as he seemed to register that she was trembling. Keeping them in midair but not moving forward, their bodies now vertical again, he turned his head to be able to look at her out of the corner of his now hideous eyes.

"Is something wrong?" he asked calmly.

"N-n-no," Orihime stammered. "I─ I'm just cold." It was certainly cold up here, especially when they were flying through the air. Her body was shaking, as if from the cold. Maybe he'd believe her and take her home. "I guess I should have brought a jacket," she added with a forced chuckle, trying to sound light-hearted. "I ... I should have known ... that it would be cold." _Please just take me home!_ she thought.

"Hm," he responded simply.

Orihime felt his clawed hand leave her wrists. That was a little nicer, she supposed. With her eyes closed, she could _almost_ imagine that he didn't look like this.

"Let go."

Orihime gasped, opening her eyes in shock, sure that she'd misheard him. She glanced down to assure herself that they were still flying, still far above the ground. Yes, they certainly were.

"What?" she asked in a trembling voice.

"You are cold," came his cool reply. "Let go."

"I── What?"

Ulquiorra again turned his head slightly to glance back at her. "Trust me."

Orihime continued to shiver. She glanced again down at the ground, far, far below, then again shut her eyes tightly, still gripping his neck.

 _Maybe if I don't look at him_ , she thought. _If I think that he's still in his normal form, or in his gigai but with wings, then I shouldn't be afraid. I can stop shaking then. If I stop shaking, I can tell him that I'm not cold anymore. Just stop shaking!_

Try as she might, however, she couldn't stop her trembling. But likewise there was no way that she could simply let go!

"Orihime," came Ulquiorra's quiet voice. "Do you think that I would allow you to be hurt?"

He had called her by name. That alone seemed to calm her, at least a little. She didn't feel quite as cold; she wasn't shaking quite as much.

"Trust me," he repeated. "Let go."

His words seemed to echo in her ears. Did she trust him? Did she truly trust him? Orihime bit her lip, knowing that she didn't. But she knew, somehow, that she should. She _believed_ that she should. He wouldn't hurt her; he wouldn't let her get hurt. She had to do this. Forcing her hands to stop gripping each other, closing her eyes again, and biting her tongue to prevent herself from screaming, she let go.

She fell only a few inches before something caught her. It was thin and strong and wrapped around her body gently but firmly, supporting her weight. She opened her eyes in shock and realized that it was his long, black tail. Her eyes again widened in amazement as he brought her under his massive wings (still flapping rhythmically to hold them in the air) around to his front. He then took her in his arms without a word, one arm supporting her legs and the other her back, holding her close to himself to keep her warm.

"Is that better?" he asked, unwrapping his tail from her body.

It was. And it wasn't. Now, she was looking fully into his terrifying face, his nightmarish black arms and claws wrapped around her. Her body was pressed to his bare torso, but even that was now emaciated with his Hollow hole seeming to pour forth a black substance like blood, as if he was both starving and bleeding to death. Yes, she was warmer, but she'd just as soon have stayed cold and not have seen him as clearly. Closing her eyes again, she nodded nervously.

"Y-y-yes!" she stuttered. "That's better. T-t-thank you."

For a long moment, there was no sound other than the soft flapping of his great, black wings. He said nothing. Orihime's eyes were still closed, but she could feel his gaze on her, questioning, no doubt, why she was behaving in this way. For her part, Orihime tried to pull herself together, her hands in fists as she tried to regain control of her emotions. She shouldn't be afraid. He wasn't going to hurt her; he wasn't going to hurt her friends. Just because she hadn't dealt with the past yet didn't mean that she shouldn't be able to handle the present and the future. She shouldn't be afraid!

At last, she heard him sigh quietly.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I should not have done this. I'll take you back now."

Opening her eyes, she saw that he had dipped and turned in the air, and they were now heading back toward the apartment. To her shame, Orihime felt a flood of relief come over her with this knowledge. Still, she found that she also felt a little sad.

"Ul ... Ulquiorra ..." she began, looking up at him and trying to find the courage to speak.

"No," he said quietly. "You do not need to look at me. I understand that this form is not something that you want to see. Close your eyes. We will be there soon, and I will change back."

Orihime felt a blush rise to her cheeks from his words ─ his feelings. His voice was so gentle; it was almost sad. And why not? She was rejecting who he was. She was telling him, by her fear and trembling, that she didn't want to see this most intimate part of his being: his true form. Raising her eyes, she looked again at the frightening visage above her, his own eyes now staring resolutely at the horizon. Slowly she lifted her hand.

As her fingers touched his face, Ulquiorra seemed to shudder slightly himself. He lowered his head to look at her, his eyes questioning, though his voice did not. Orihime found herself gazing into those other-worldly eyes as her fingers traced the thick black rivulets that ran down his cheeks.

They were _his_ eyes.

Even though they looked like something from a freakish nightmare, they were still _his_ eyes. Gazing into them, Orihime could see Ulquiorra's soul gazing back at her. Why had she ever felt afraid?

At last, she smiled and shook her head.

"No," she whispered. "I don't want to go back. Please."

He simply looked at her. "Are you certain?" he asked at last.

"Yes, I'm sure!" she exclaimed, nodding her head and grinning brightly. "Please. I want to touch the stars."

She lifted both hands and placed them again his face. Ulquiorra's eyes widened again, and he seemed to try to draw back, but he could do nothing without dropping her. Orihime just smiled at him.

"I want you to come and touch the stars with me," she smiled.

* * *

For hours they flew through the night sky, enjoying the beauty and peace around them. Ulquiorra had gradually relaxed again, once Orihime removed her hands. For her part, Orihime gazed around herself in wonder and excitement now, her earlier fear completely dispelled by his gentle words. She talked about picking the stars from the sky and putting them in a jar to light her room at night, and Ulquiorra simply listened, amused with her imagination. He spoilt her perception of the clouds by flying through a few of them, but she didn't mind. She said that it was fun to be lost in their misty expanse for a moment or two at a time as they passed through them. She still talked about how fun it would be to find a special cloud on which she could build her midnight castle, and Ulquiorra didn't contradict her.

At last, when it was well past midnight and Orihime had fallen asleep in his arms, her face resting comfortably against his chest, Ulquiorra brought them back to her little apartment. He withdrew his second release as they neared their destination, and then fully sealed his power again in his Zanpakuto as he dropped silently to the roof. Orihime didn't stir as he entered the apartment and carried her gently into her bedroom. There, standing before her bed, he paused. Somehow, he didn't want to put her down. He looked at her sleeping face, barely visible in the darkness of the room, lit only by the pale moonlight that filtered through her thin curtains. She looked so peaceful, so comfortable, so ... secure. It struck him strongly that she felt so safe with him that she was willing even to fall asleep in his arms. An almost overwhelming sense came over him: the desire to know that she was always as safe, as secure, and as happy as she was right then, protected in his strong embrace. He didn't want to let go. He didn't understand what this feeling was that welled up within him; never had he felt this way toward any other being. It was as if she had become a part of him, in that he wanted to protect her as well as he would protect himself, and yet it was different: he felt somehow that if he himself was in danger and she was at the same time, that he would rather suffer harm himself if it would protect her. It made no sense. These feelings were inexplicable. And yet they were there, stronger than anything he had ever felt. Somehow he knew at that moment that he could never let any harm come to her. He wanted to hold her forever and never let go.

How long he stood there, holding her to himself and gazing down at her sleeping countenance, he didn't know. He only knew that he finally roused himself, knowing that he needed to leave and to go to bed himself. It was strange, but it was actually painful for him to lay her on her bed. His arms ached as if fighting against the loss of her touch. His hands twitched, wanting to retain their hold on her. His fingers tightened, desiring to keep her in their grasp. Nevertheless, he forced his body back under his own control and drew back from her.

 _This is madness,_ he told himself. _There is no reason that I should feel this way._

Regardless, not even his own cold logic could fully dispel the warmth that he felt within himself, watching her. Closing his eyes at last, he turned to leave the room.

With a gasp, Orihime suddenly sat up in bed. "What time is it?!" she exclaimed. "I'm late!"

Ulquiorra turned back, looking at her questioningly. "It's the middle of the night," he replied. "You are assuredly not late."

"Oh," she murmured. Lying down again, she seemed to fall back to sleep on the instant.

The barest hint of a smile played about the corner of his lips as Ulquiorra looked at her, deciding that she hadn't fully awakened in the first place. She was having a dream: most likely about school. He considered staying a bit longer but decided against it. Again, he moved toward the door.

"I should get changed," her voice murmured again, this time with a yawn. "My clothes will be all wrinkled."

This time, Ulquiorra didn't turn or respond. If she was still sleeping, then there was no need to acknowledge her speech. If she was awake, then she was being foolish: if her clothes weren't wrinkled from the long adventure, then they wouldn't be from her sleeping in them. Regardless, _that_ was of no concern to him. He could ask her in the morning whether they were wrinkled and whether it mattered.

Moving to his own bed, he removed his long jacket, sat down, removed his sandals, and stretched himself out to sleep. He had lain there for only a minute or two, however, before the door to Orihime's room opened.

"Are you asleep?" she whispered.

"No," he replied, not moving.

"When did we get back?"

"Just now."

"Oh."

She was standing in the doorway, dressed now in a thin nightgown. So, she had been awake, apparently.

"Well, I just wanted a snack before bed," she continued finally. "Would you like something to eat?"

"I am not hungry."

"Okay," she nodded, then turned and walked to the kitchen.

* * *

Orihime couldn't remember falling asleep in Ulquiorra's arms, but, when she awoke, she knew that she must have done so. The last thing she remembered was watching the stars twinkling brightly, then they had begun dancing and singing, and she had smiled, watching them. After that, she had drifted into a dream where Sora was there, talking to her and holding her protectively. Orihime hadn't felt so warm and secure since she was a little child. Somehow she knew that as long as Sora was there, everything would be alright, nothing could harm her, and she would always be able to smile. She wanted to hold onto him forever.

Gradually the dream had faded, and she began to feel alone again. Surprisingly, even though it was a little sad, it wasn't painful; it was what she had known for so long. When she drifted back into wakefulness, she lay in her own bed, trying to remember how she'd gotten there. It took very little time for her to realize that Ulquiorra must have put her to bed. Looking down and seeing that she wasn't in her nightclothes had confirmed this.

Rising, she quietly changed into her nightgown. Her eyes kept moving toward her door as she did so, thinking of her dream. Why had she felt so secure in his arms? As she had fallen asleep, it was as if her mind believed that it was no longer Ulquiorra but Sora holding her. She had never seen him like that. She had never seen him as anything more than an unwilling protector at first and possibly a would-be friend at last. Even that, she supposed, he would object to being labeled. He had no intention of hurting her, and he had previously protected her when Aizen had ordered him to do so, but he was not attached to her as her friends were. He probably wouldn't even protect her now, if she was in danger. How was it that she felt so secure with him? So safe? So comfortable?

She opened her door quietly and whispered into the darkness, asking whether he was awake. When his quiet voice replied, she felt a gentle peace drift over her. She was happy. She didn't know why; all she knew was that his presence made her feel happy and safe. She wasn't alone. She had been alone for so long that she seldom even thought of it, but now, just like people often wouldn't appreciate something good until it was gone, so she realized that she hadn't recognized her own pain until it was gone. He wasn't Sora, but somehow he made her feel like she did when Sora was there. She smiled.

"Would you like something to eat?" she asked, moving toward the little kitchen.

She knew what his answer would be before he spoke it: "I am not hungry."

"Okay," she replied.

Yes, she had known what he would say, but she could, at least, hope that it would be otherwise. She smiled sadly as she fixed herself a quick and simple snack. In truth, she wasn't that hungry herself. She just wanted to savor this feeling for as long as she could. She knew that as soon as she went to sleep, she'd awaken in the morning, and it would be time to get ready for school, and then they'd go to school ─ walking separately of course, so as not to attract attention ─ and everything would be back to the way that it had been. Was it so wrong to want to live in the moment, just for now, imagining that he could be to her what Sora had been? Someone who loved and cared for her? Someone who protected her and kept her from being alone? Was that so wrong to wish?

She had finished her snack, but still she lingered, not wanting to go back to bed. She wished he would say something. She knew, however, that that was foolish. He wouldn't speak without a reason, and there was no reason now for him to speak, except, perhaps, to tell her that it was late and that she should go to bed. She smiled a little, wondering if he would do that if she waited long enough.

Finally, bolstering her courage, she walked into the living room where he was lying. Seeing her approach, he rose to a sitting position, looking at her directly as if asking whether there was something that she required. She licked her lips nervously.

"Thank you for tonight," she said at last. "It was fun."

"You're welcome," he answered simply.

He then sat silently, looking up at her, as she nervously turned her eyes everywhere but toward him. Finally, she dropped to the floor next to him, swallowing once.

"I'm sorry," she stuttered, "for ... for being afraid of you tonight. I ... I shouldn't have..."

She licked her lips, finding herself staring at the four on his chest. Though she had intentionally brought herself down to be able to look him in the eye, she found now that she couldn't actually bring herself to do it. The ornate tattoo provided a nice distraction. It was actually rather handsome, she thought. Not all tattoos were, and some were simply hideous, but his was quite nice. When she realized suddenly that she was staring at his bare chest, she blushed and dropped her eyes quickly.

"I did not know you were afraid," his deep voice came at last.

Orihime did look up at him then, eyes widened in surprise. He hadn't known? But hadn't she made it painfully obvious, even though she'd tried to hide it? How could he _not_ have known?

"I── I thought──" she stammered. "I mean, you offered to bring me back, and you said I shouldn't look at you, and ... and ... I thought you knew."

"I thought that you were disgusted, repulsed by my appearance, not afraid."

Orihime's eyes widened in horror as she suddenly realized the impression that her actions had given him.

"No!" she exclaimed. "I never felt that! I'm so sorry! I didn't know that that's what you thought."

"You have never been afraid of me," he continued, "even when you should have been. Why would you be afraid of me now?"

"I, um," she hesitated. "I wasn't really afraid of you, I suppose... I mean..." She swallowed, looking away again. "It was ... memories, really. I don't like to remember that ... that fight. The first time I saw you like that, I mean. I don't like to think about what happened. It scares me." A tear fell from her eye. "And it was my fault," she murmured.

"It was not your fault," came his response. "It was Aizen's; had he not ordered me to retrieve you, your friends would never have come to Hueco Mundo. You had no choice in the matter, though it was made to appear that you did."

"I called to Kurosaki-kun," whimpered Orihime. "When you ... defeated him. I made him turn into that ... that ... thing. _That_ was my fault. It was my fault that he killed you. It was my fault that you died!"

Again he was silent. Orihime chewed her lip, wanting to look at his face, but not wanting to at the same time. She wanted to hear him say that he forgave her, but she didn't want to ask. She wanted to know what he was thinking. Did he blame her? Had he, perhaps, never considered that it was her fault in the end? Had she just turned him against herself? Orihime wanted to cry as she considered that perhaps he would hate her, now that she had told him this.

"Do you regret what happened?" his voice came at last.

Orihime gasped, looking at him again in shock. "Yes!" she exclaimed. "Of course I do! I never wanted you to die! I mean, I wanted Kurosaki-kun to win, and I wanted us to leave, but I didn't ... I didn't want him to kill you!"

There was no anger in his eyes. As she stared at him, she saw only mild confusion there.

"There was no other way," he said. "Surely you do not believe that I would have surrendered, so long as I was able to move. I would have fought to the last breath, as I did. He could not have simply defeated me and left; my body would have continued to regenerate until either he killed me or I killed him. There was no other possible outcome: one of us had to die."

Orihime swallowed again, biting back tears. She knew that his words were true, but she didn't like to think of them.

"Your actions brought about the victory of your allies," added Ulquiorra.

At that, Orihime's eyes popped open in surprise. She stared up at him silently.

"Kurosaki has spoken to me of his final battle with Aizen," continued Ulquiorra. "There was no one who could have won that battle apart from him. Had I succeeded in killing him, the last true threat to Aizen would have been removed: he and the Espada would have won the war. By saving Kurosaki's life as you did, you did not merely save your friend; you brought about the victory of your allies. Remember that."

Again, Orihime could do nothing but stare. Understanding slowly came to her and her eyes widened yet again. Yes, she had caused Kurosaki-kun to lose himself for a time ─ to become a worse creature than any of the Espada ─ but in doing so ... she had enabled the end of the Winter War; she had helped to secure their victory. _She_ had brought back the savior of the Land of the Living and of Soul Society too! A flood of emotions washed over her. The guilt that she had felt for so long that had led her to suppress her own memories as well as she could; the fear of herself, knowing that it had somehow been she who had brought about the horrific change in Kurosaki-kun; the remorse of knowing that she had been responsible for the death of her one-time guard; all of this was shattered by the calm, cool, and beautiful logic presented to her now. She smiled, blinking back her tears.

"Thank you," she exclaimed, taking his hand in both of her own. "I never thought of that! You're right! I did help. All this time, I kept thinking that I only made it worse, but you're right: I didn't. I still wish that Kurosaki-kun hadn't hurt Ishida-kun and that he hadn't killed you like that, but I am glad that he didn't die. I'm so, so, so glad that Aizen didn't win!" She paused, still smiling. "Thank you," she repeated.

"Hm," was his simple response. He gently removed her hands from his and said, "It is late. You should sleep."

With another smile, Orihime nodded. "Thank you," she repeated. Rising then to her feet, she turned to go to her room. Again, however, she paused. "Ulquiorra," she said, looking back at him with a little confusion. "Didn't you want Aizen to win?"

"I did," he answered.

"But now?"

"Aizen lost. My preference is no longer of any consequence."

Orihime's eyes fell again, her smile long gone. She bit her lip, considering. "If we were back there again," she began slowly, "would you still try kill Kurosaki-kun?"

There was silence for a long moment, until Orihime forced her gaze upward to meet his again. He looked back at her calmly.

"I defeated him once and allowed him the option of leaving Hueco Mundo," he answered. "I would do so again. My duty was to protect Las Noches, not to kill him. If he would not leave, then I would have no choice: I would kill him. But if he chose to leave, I would allow him to do so. In the end, the choice would be his."

Orihime nodded. "Well," she said with a sigh, "I'm glad that everything worked out in the end. And I . . . I am sorry that you died."

"It is of no consequence," he replied.

Orihime licked her lips. "It is to me," she whispered.

Again she looked at him, then, with a wan smile, she turned and reentered her room, leaving him to gaze after her curiously, wondering now about her feelings as much as he did about his own.


	10. First Contact

_**Chapter 10**_

 **First Contact**

* * *

 _Thunk._

"Ow! Tatsuki-chan!" Orihime rubbed her head painfully.

"Come on, Orihime, you were spaced out again. Where was your brain this time?"

"Oh, um, I was just daydreaming," grinned Orihime, trying to hide her blush behind a huge smile.

"I could see that," snorted Tatsuki. "Come on; it's time for lunch."

Looking around herself, Orihime realized with a start that most of the other students had left the classroom already. Quickly she snatched up her lunchbox and followed Tatsuki out to the yard where the rest of their friends sat.

Orihime didn't say a word as they walked. Her mind instead went back to the distracting thoughts she been having for the last several days. More and more, she had found herself thinking about her pale roommate. Ever since that night that they spent together above the clouds, she had found her thoughts about him shifting. She had been happy to see him becoming acclimated to the Land of the Living. When he'd first arrived, her main concern had been to see that he was comfortable here, so far from his home. She wanted him to feel at ease, or as much so as was possible for the stiff Cuatro Espada. Mostly she had felt sorry for him. After all, she had witnessed first-hand how dedicated he was to Aizen-Taichō, and now the Shinigami was gone forever. All of the other Espada were gone too. Ulquiorra was all alone. Orihime had hated the thought of him being all alone, having no friends. Of course, he hadn't had any real 'friends' even among the Espada, so far as she could tell, but at least he had had comrades. Now, he had nothing and no one. The thought that she and her friends might be able to give him that which he had never had was exciting and invigorating. She had wanted to be able to be his friend. She had wanted to see him happy, if that was even possible.

By the time they had had their little outing among the stars, Orihime had become so used to his presence that she had scarcely thought of her original goal anymore. He had melded into life here so well that he seemed as though he belonged. Each morning, she would rise quickly to get ready for school. After dressing herself and brushing her hair, she would wake him, very carefully. She had only once awakened him by grasping his shoulder roughly (after all, she was running a little late that day), and she had nearly lost her own arm in consequence. After that, she had learned to simply call his name loudly as she exited her own room each morning. It was far safer and just as effective. He would then rise, moving as calmly and fluidly as usual, don his Espada jacket, his black stockings, and his white sandals before putting on his human gigai. Orihime would usually have finished hurriedly preparing her breakfast and packing her lunch (usually the previous night's leftovers, seeing that she always made enough for two, but he would never eat more than a single bite). As Ulquiorra methodically gathered his book bag and supplies and ran a comb through his luscious black hair, Orihime would wolf down her breakfast, exclaiming that they were surely going to be late. At last, as Ulquiorra would walk calmly from the apartment, still unrushed, Orihime would snatch up her own bag and lunch box, following him quickly and locking the door behind them. From there, their paths diverged. He would take his own route, probably using sonido as least part of the way, and she would run down the streets in as direct a route as possible, always arriving just in time to see him disappear into the school building ahead of her.

There at school, he generally remained silent, saying nothing unless the teacher called on him. Even in those cases, he would say as little as was necessary. Some days, Orihime was amazed with his patience, in that he could play the part of a human teenager without any show of arrogance or distain. Given his power, his real age, and his identity, it still surprised her when he would answer calmly and quietly to what must seem to him to be foolish and pointless questions. At lunch, he would go to the roof with the other boys, and many were the days that Orihime wished that she could sneak up the staircase and just watch to see how that went. Did he talk to them? Did he eat anything? (He never allowed her to pack him a lunch.) Were the other boys friendly to him? She had asked him some of these questions a few times, but he hadn't responded with more than a single word or a simple shrug, and she hadn't come up with a good enough reason to spy on them. After all, if she did, even if they didn't see her, she knew that he and probably Ishida-kun would sense her presence, and either might call out to her or ask her later, and she would have to have a good reason for being there ... and she couldn't think of one. So, they never spoke at school.

In the afternoon, they would again leave the school separately, both meeting again at the apartment. The evenings would vary from day to day; sometimes Orihime would go out with Tatsuki and some of the other girls, leaving Ulquiorra there alone. Other times, Orihime would remain home and Ulquiorra would disappear somewhere, always leaving his gigai at the apartment. Orihime had noticed that he didn't seem to like the faux body. He would only don it when they were leaving for school, and he would almost always remove it as soon as they returned. His objection to the soul candies, saying that there were "a limited number there" now made far more sense to her. If Urahara could see how frequently the Espada would discard the gigai like an unwanted jacket, he would likely be hurt. After all of the work he had put into it, to have it still so unwanted would likely not be pleasant. Still, if Ulquiorra was spending time on the roof as he did, not infrequently, or moving from rooftop to rooftop in his nightly wanderings, Orihime agreed that it was probably better that he left the gigai behind. Since the night of their little adventure, however, she began to wish that he wouldn't leave _her_ behind.

When had she started to feel differently about him? She could sense that she now felt differently about him, but she wasn't sure when it had started. It wasn't like what she felt for any of her other friends; with Tatsuki-chan, she felt a deep bond of friendship; with Sado-kun, she felt a sense of care; with Ishida-kun, she felt a special sense of protection; with Kurosaki-kun, she felt fireworks! With Ulquiorra, it was different. It was calm like a deep lake or even an ocean, but it was strong and unmoving like a boulder or a mountain. At first, she had described it to herself like what she felt with Sora: a sense of security and caring, a sense of peace, the feeling that so long as he was there, everything would be fine. But Ulquiorra wasn't Sora; he wasn't even human! Why would she feel like this around him? She wasn't sure. She didn't know. But there was one thing that she did know and that was becoming more and more apparent to her with every passing day:

She didn't want him to leave.

From the start, it had been stated that this was temporary, for as long as Ulquiorra cared to stay. Orihime didn't know how long that was going to be nor how long he had planned that to be, but she found that she now wished it would never end. Couldn't he just stay with her always and never leave? It seemed so strange to wish such a thing, but there it was. She couldn't bear the thought of him leaving one day and her being all alone again. No, he had to stay! Somehow, she had to convince him to stay. But every time she thought about talking to him about it, she blushed, realizing that she had no reason other than her own illogical emotions, and _surely_ he wouldn't accept that. What could she say?

This was the secret that she bore and that so often consumed her thoughts now. At first, it had been just at night, as she lay in bed, trying to fall asleep, but now it was interfering with her thoughts during the day as well. At school, she would intentionally not look at him, focusing on her desk or on the window when necessary, but the thoughts would still come over her at times. And so they had today, apparently, as Tatsuki had had to break her from them to take her to lunch. Even sitting outside in the bright sunlight, the other girls likewise became concerned with her mental distance, seeing that she apparently ignored the rest of them as she ate.

"Oh, Hime-chan!" exclaimed Chizuru, grasping her suddenly from behind. "You're so adorable when you have that far-away look! I have to know what you're thinking! What are you──"

"Back off, pervert!" snapped Tatsuki, smacking Chizuru into the ground face-first. "I guarantee she wasn't thinking about _you_!"

"Tatsuki-chan!" exclaimed Orihime in surprise. "It's okay; I guess I was a little spaced-out."

"What's wrong, Orihime-chan?" asked Mahana. "You seem distracted today."

"You do seem quiet," agreed Michiru.

"Oh, it's nothing!" smiled Orihime, waving her hands dismissively. "I was just thinking about how bright the sun is today, and I was wondering if he was happy about something, because he's shining so brightly."

The girls looked at her in confusion.

"You see," continued Orihime, falling into her habit of babbling nervously to hide her true thoughts, "when it gets cold, it feels like the sun must be sad, because he seems so far away, but then when the sun is too close and hot, I think maybe he is angry, and he wants everyone to feel it with him, but when the weather is nice and comfortable, but the sun is still shining brightly, not hiding behind the clouds or anything, then that makes me think that sun must be happy! Doesn't he look happy today?"

"But, if that's what you're thinking," queried Mahana, "then why were you looking at the ground?"

"Oh. Well..." Orihime scrunched her brow in thought momentarily. "Um, I suppose I was thinking about the grass too, now that you mention it. After all, when the sun shines very brightly, it would make the grass happy too, right? After all, the grass needs lots of sunlight to grow." She gasped. "But then the sun has to be careful too! If it shines too much for too long, then the grass will get too dry, and then it would all wilt and die! So ... I wonder if the grass really is happy when the sun shines brightly, or whether it is more afraid, because it doesn't know if it is going to get stronger or weaker. Hmm. What do you think, Tatsuki?"

Her friends all stared at her.

"Oh, Hime-chan!" murmured Chizuru with a twisted grin. "That's just like you! To be worried about the grass. Of course, you're right!"

"I think that the sun and the grass are both happy today, Orihime," smiled Tatsuki, sending a very brief glare toward Chizuru. "After all, if you're smiling and thinking of them, then who wouldn't be happy?"

"Oh, Tatsuki-chan!" blushed Orihime, extremely glad that her friend didn't know the _real_ subject of her thoughts. "That's ... very sweet of you to say." She turned back to her lunch quickly and hoped that the girls wouldn't question her further.

Fortunately for her, they didn't. The talk turned to other matters, and Orihime did find her eyes wandering upward, not to look at the sun, but rather to gaze at the roof of the school, wondering what conversations might be happening up there.

* * *

"Here," said Uryū, extending a packaged rice ball to Ulquiorra.

The Arrancar stood calmly, hands in his pockets and eyes lidded, leaning against the wall near the other boys. Most days, he said nothing, and every day he ate nothing. The others had pressed him on this in the beginning, but they quickly became accustomed to his emotional distance and so left him alone.

"I am not hungry," replied Ulquiorra, barely glancing at Uryū.

"So you always say," replied Uryū, "but I have an extra today, and I don't want it to go to waste. Take it."

Ulquiorra opened his eyes to look fully at the young man.

"Then give it to someone who desires it," he intoned.

"I'll take it, Ishida!" exclaimed Keigo, snatching the rice ball from Uyrū's hand before the other could protest. "After all, Ulquiorra-san can't keep up his figure if he actually eats, can he?"

"Cifer does eat," put in Ichigo. "He probably just doesn't like people watching."

"Have _you_ ever seen him eat?" asked Keigo pointedly.

"Sure, I ... um..." Ichigo trailed off, twisting his eyebrows as he thought.

"Hm?" pressed Keigo, smirking at him now.

"Well, maybe he doesn't like Japanese food," shrugged Ichigo at last. "After all, if you went to Europe, Keigo, you wouldn't like the food there."

"Hey! I have a great appreciation for food from different cultures!" exclaimed Keigo. "And even if I didn't, I wouldn't starve myself for that. I'd find _something_ I could eat. Ulquiorra-san _never_ eats!"

"I've seen Ulquiorra-san eat," said Mizuiro calmly.

"You have?! When?" demanded Keigo. "He never eats at school, and when would you have been with him outside of school? Are you two hanging out together without the rest of us? What is this: a secret friendship? Why didn't you tell me?!"

"It wouldn't be secret, if he told you," muttered Ishida.

"We weren't together, Asano-san," smiled Mizuiro. "I was walking through the market, and I saw him with Inoue-san. She handed him a piece of fruit, and he ate it."

"WHAT?!" screamed Keigo, turning to Ulquiorra in shock. "You went out with Orihime-chan?! How did you do that? Why would she go out with _you_?!"

"More importantly, why were _you_ watching Inoue-san?" asked Ishida, frowning at Mizuiro. "I thought your interests were with older women."

"Mizuiro!" exclaimed Keigo, distracted again. "Are _you_ going after Orihime-chan?! How many──"

"Maybe he wasn't watching Inoue," grinned Ichigo. "Maybe he was watching Ulquiorra. Maybe he's had us all fooled all this time."

"AHH!" screamed Keigo, gripping his head. "What's really going on?!"

"You should finish eating, Asano-san," said Mizuiro calmly. "We have to go back inside soon, and you don't want the rice ball that Ishida was so kind as to give you to go to waste."

"Stop calling me Asano-san!" wailed Keigo.

The lunch hour was nearly over, so the boys soon gathered their belongings and returned to the classroom, the conversation having ended after Keigo finished bemoaning the fact that his friends never told him anything that was happening.

* * *

After the sun had set that night, the town quieted considerably. The autumn air was crisp without being too cold. The wind rustled gently through the trees, as if encouraging the changing colors to quicken their pace and paint the town with beautiful shades of fall. The crickets chirped, and the little creatures of the night began to emerge from their sleeping places to hunt for their nightly snacks. A few of these paused in their hunts to observe a strange duo, moving silently through the less-well-traveled areas of Karakura Town.

Down several streets and into some of the surrounding areas, the two figures had been moving at a casual pace for nearly an hour after the sun set. From the time that they had started until now, neither had said a word. One seemed to ignore the other, and the other seemed content to be ignored. Although there may have been a bit of tension between them in the beginning of the evening, it had quickly dissipated, leaving what would eventually develop into an interesting rather than awkward silence. By the time the moon had fully risen, illuminating the more open spaces of the town with its ghostly light, one might almost say that it had become a sort of contest between the two individuals: who would break the silence first? Each of them was quiet by nature; each of them was remarkably patient; and each of them might be considered at least a little stubborn. At last, they came to a stand-still, shrouded by the late-night darkness in the middle of an empty park. There they remained for some time more, neither of them speaking nor moving.

Ulquiorra ─ the figure leading ─ had known that various Shinigami had been observing him for the last few days, and he had ignored them. His release of his second form that night above the clouds ─ even as high and far from the town as it had been ─ could not have gone unnoticed. Naturally Soul Society would be curious about the presence of an Arrancar in the Land of the Living. It had not been Ulquiorra's intention to attract attention, but neither was it his goal to live in hiding. Eventually, they would learn of his presence here; why not allow it to be sooner than later? He had no fear of Soul Society. Likewise, however, he had no desire to provoke them. He was simply indifferent to them. He had now revealed his presence, and he had waited simply to see what move they would make in response. For some time, however, they had done nothing other than to observe him, as if they were waiting for him to make another move. Tonight, that feeling was even more pronounced.

When, this evening, a high-level Shinigami had begun following him, Ulquiorra had been aware of the other's presence immediately. He had taken a walk this evening as usual and had not been surprised with his follower, seeing that this was almost normal now. When, however, the other had persisted in remaining close to him throughout the evening ─ close enough that Ulquiorra knew that the other desired him to know that he was being followed ─ he had found himself mildly irked. If the Shinigami had had something to say to him, then he could do so. And yet the other remained silent, staying always a short distance away from Ulquiorra, though always very plainly present. It was, therefore, quite intentional that Ulquiorra eventually came to the open space in the middle of Karakura Town, precisely where he and Yami had landed so long ago now, and waited silently, not moving.

For half an hour, he stood thus.

When the silence and stillness persisted, the Shinigami giving no sign that he wished to make the first move, Ulquiorra had to consider whether he was himself prepared to wait out the other. The idea was not unpleasant to him. He suspected that his enemy would grow impatient far earlier than Ulquiorra would himself, however there were other factors at play: Ulquiorra knew that Orihime would wonder if he did not return; she would probably seek him or call one of her friends, either of which would be unpleasant and should be avoided. Likewise, the Shinigami might have summoned reinforcements and be simply waiting for them to arrive, though this seemed unlikely and would be merely an uncomfortable inconvenience rather than a real threat.

As Ulquiorra considered, he knew too that the confrontation with Soul Society was going to come eventually. At some point, he would have to speak with the Shinigami concerning his presence here, and he had decided that it would be less inconvenient if it were not in the midst of a battle. Perhaps, if both parties were calm, a temporary truce would be less unlikely an outcome.

So it was that Ulquiorra finally decided to end the stalemate himself.

* * *

Tōshirō had been content to observe the Arrancar for as long as the other chose to stand there. He was himself in no position to fight the Espada at this time, being currently alone and having his reiatsu severely limited by the _Gentei Reiin_. He had, however, wondered how long the other's patience would hold. He was already a little surprised at the calm, cool nature of this Hollow, although he had been informed of how this Arrancar had backed away from fights in the past that he could easily have won. He had not seemed inclined to violence, even when provoked. That was cautiously comforting, but the fact remained that he was a Hollow; an Espada. His strength and power were easy to sense, and Tōshirō knew that there was far more beneath the surface. Was this patience he displayed a result of centuries of practiced self-control? Or was it a calculated measure, designed for battle? No matter how non-threatening the other's demeanor might seem, Tōshirō knew that to lower his guard for even an instant could spell his own death. So he continued to watch silently and carefully as the Espada stood, perfectly still, doing and saying nothing.

When, suddenly, the Arrancar disappeared from where he was standing, Tōshirō felt only a split-second of fear. He had not followed the movement, but he sensed instantly the other's new location: he was now standing only a few yards behind Tōshirō himself, again not moving. Taking a breath, the young Shinigami sighed quietly.

"You've finally decided to acknowledge me," muttered the young tenth captain, not turning.

"You could not have thought that I was unaware of your presence," replied the other tonelessly.

Tōshirō turned, looking at the Espada carefully. The Hollow stood, hands in his pockets, watching Tōshirō with cold, expressionless eyes.

"Do you mean to attack me?" asked the Shinigami.

"I have no reason to fight you," answered the Espada.

"Do you expect me to attack you then?"

"I have no expectation in that regard one way or the other. I can sense that your reiatsu is not enough to defeat me, but I know nothing of your intellect: whether you are foolish enough to try regardless."

Tōshirō regarded him for a moment silently.

"As a Shinigami," he said at last, "it is my duty to eliminate Hollows: to cleanse their souls and to send them on their way. If you remain in the Land of the Living, I will have no choice but to destroy you."

"You may try."

"I know what you are, Espada," continued Tōshirō, his voice lowering as his annoyance grew. "I am not foolish enough to fight you alone, but even you must know that you cannot stand against all of Soul Society. Aizen tried and failed."

"Aizen was defeated by the hand of one of whom I have no fear," replied the other. "And as for standing against all of Soul Society, I am unconcerned. I do not believe that the Shinigami would launch the sort of attack on myself that they would on one of their own who turned against them. Whatever I am, I am not the threat that Aizen was. I have no interest in Soul Society whatsoever."

"That may be, but your being here in the Land of the Living is a threat to all humans here. We cannot allow that."

"As an Espada, I no longer need consume human souls. I likewise have no desire to commit meaningless acts of violence. I am no threat to the humans here."

Tōshirō frowned. Was this Hollow actually arguing that he should be allowed to remain here in the Land of the Living? Ridiculous! But he was clearly trying to imply that Soul Society should leave him alone. Well, he was foolish if he thought that that was going to happen.

"Why are you here, Espada?" demanded Tōshirō. "What business could a Hollow have in the Land of the Living that is _not_ a threat to the humans here?"

"My business is my own," replied the other tonelessly. "It concerns neither Soul Society nor the Land of the Living, beyond my presence here. And I repeat: my presence here is and will continue to be no threat to the humans nor to the Land of the Living nor to Soul Society."

"Soul Society will not allow you to stay here, Espada," growled Tōshirō. "If you wish to continue living as you are, then go back to Hueco Mundo where you belong."

The Arrancar gazed at him unblinkingly. The silence lasted long enough that Tōshirō wondered whether their silent contest of earlier had recommenced.

At last, the Espada replied simply, "I refuse."

Tōshirō's eyes narrowed. "You would do well to consider the implications of your decision."

His hand moved to the hilt of his Zanpakutō in warning, but, before he could touch it, he felt a set of cold fingers pressed lightly to his throat. Again, he had not seen the Espada move, but the latter now stood right next to him, looking past him, one hand resting gently against Tōshirō's throat.

"You likewise would do well to consider the implications of attacking me, Shinigami," came the cold voice. "I have no reason to fight you. I suggest that you do nothing that would create such a reason."

No sooner was the warning given than the touch vanished and the Hollow with it. The night was again empty and silent all around him.

Tōshirō released a slow breath. He could no longer sense the Espada's reiatsu. He knew that he could leave to search for him, but he believed that he now had as much information as he needed. Regardless, so long as his _Gentei Reiin_ was in place, keeping him at no more than twenty-percent of his own full strength, it was clear that it would be suicide to provoke this particular Hollow into a fight. Their brief conversation had provided sufficient data for now: the Arrancar was not looking for a fight. More information could be gathered later. With that thought in mind, Tōshirō left the park likewise, returning to the Senkaimon.

* * *

 _ **A/N: Before anyone flames me for making Tōshirō so much weaker than Ulquiorra, remember that without the**_ **Gentei Kaijo** _ **(spiritual release), even after releasing his bankai, Tōshirō was unable even to defeat a single one of Grimmjow's fracciones in a one-on-one battle. There's no way he could touch Ulquiorra.**_


	11. Matters of the Heart - Part 1

_**Chapter 11**_

 **Matters of the Heart ─ Part 1  
**

* * *

Back at the apartment late that night, Ulquiorra did not immediately go inside. He knew that Orihime would sense his return, so he didn't bother to inform her himself; he merely leapt onto the rooftop and remained there, immersed in his own thoughts.

Ulquiorra had known that Soul Society would sense his presence in the Land of the Living sooner or later. He had known that they would eventually confront him. He had even suspected that they might attack him if he remained here for any considerable length of time. He hoped, however, that his message to the young captain this evening would warn them against any rash actions against his person: after all, there weren't many in Soul Society who would stand a chance against himself in a one-on-one battle, and anything larger than that would likely cause great destruction here in the Land of the Living. With any luck, they would be content to leave him alone and simply continue to observe him, so long as he refrained from killing anyone here or otherwise wreaking havoc. Although, knowing what he knew of the Shinigami, he soon decided that this was a ridiculous hope: as the Shinigami tonight had said, they would not allow a Hollow to remain in the Land of the Living. Ulquiorra had to decide whether it would be worth fighting Soul Society to stay.

The question of the little Shinigami this evening came back to him: _"Why are you here, Espada?"_ How many others had asked him that question since he had come? And what answer did he have? Ulquiorra knew why he had originally come: he had sought information, understanding. What was it about these humans that allowed them to overcome all odds and to survive? What caused them to show pity and even compassion to their enemies without weakening themselves? How could persons of such incomprehensibly overwhelming power live lives of such mediocrity here in the Land of the Living without losing their minds? Kurosaki Ichigo, Inoue Orihime, and even Ishida Uryū; these three humans had piqued his interest and had drawn him from his solitude to enter life in their land among their kind for a time. He had intentionally clothed himself in the frail flesh of humanity in order to better understand them. The problem was that no matter how much he studied them, no matter how long he spent in their presence, he couldn't seem to comprehend the true source of their power. They remained as incomprehensible to him now as they had been that night above Las Noches. Was it possible that what the woman had yelled in a fit of anger was true? Was a heartless Hollow simply incapable of understanding the true nature of a human? He had begun to consider this possibility more seriously.

 _"Why are you here?"_

If he had asked, "Why did you come?" Ulquiorra could have answered with ease, though he would not have done so. He would not explain himself to a Shinigami. Regardless, to the question of why he remained, however, Ulquiorra no longer had an adequate answer himself. He had nearly convinced himself that he was on a fool's errand. As a Hollow, he simply could not understand these humans. Without a "heart," it was apparently pointless even to try.

And he had no heart.

As if through a mist, Ulquiorra saw again in his mind the woman's face as she gazed at him in that unforgettable moment. Her clothes were torn; her body was bruised and bleeding. Her figure was half hidden by his own outstretched fingers, but all he saw was her eyes. In that warm gaze was no anger, no hatred, no fear. There was pity. There was sorrow. There was compassion. In that moment, as she had reached for his hand, he had felt, just for an instant, the gentle warmth of what she called the Heart. Into the dark, empty abyss of meaninglessness in which his life had dwelt for so long had shone a light that he had never known existed. An existence beyond what his eyes could see had invaded him, as distant as the stars and yet as near as the palm of his hand. For that fleeting, mystical moment, Ulquiorra had felt a peace that he had never imagined could be. The simplicity of pure emptiness where nothing mattered and nothing existed had always formed his conception of happiness, and yet here was something different; something that felt both peaceful, joyful, and comfortable. It was a moment which a more eloquent or imaginative person might have described as one of other-worldly bliss.

Somehow Ulquiorra knew that this brief moment from his painful past was his only link to the answers he was now seeking. Whatever it was that he had felt in that instant was what dwelt within the minds of the humans here constantly. This was what drove them. It had to be. He had thrust it from his mind when he had awoken from the darkness, choosing to take solace once again in the emptiness that he had known for so many years. After all, the humans were gone. He was alone. Whatever it was that he had felt could engender nothing but a longing which could not be filled. Was it truly happiness that he had felt, emanating from the outstretched hand of the woman that he was unable to touch? Or was it the delusion of a crumbling, dying mind? Was it truly contentment that had been offered to him in that enigmatic moment of time? Or was it insanity, overtaking him at last? Whatever it had been, it was now gone. Whatever he had felt, whatever he had experienced, had vanished like ash in the wind. It was like a dream, gone with the morning mists, barely remembered. And yet it had been real, in that briefest moment. Somehow, _he_ had experienced this heart of which the woman spoke. He had forgotten── no, he had _desired_ to forget. And yet it was there. It had happened. Could it be that his own soul was now searching desperately for that peace once more, seeing that the peace of the void had been taken from him?

The confusion and consequent frustration began to arise in him again. He was reaching for something that he could never touch. Each time he was with the woman, the frustration seemed to grow. The moment about which he had tried to forget came more and more frequently to mind, taunting him with the suggestion that the human heart truly _was_ within his reach.

Nonsense!

Again, he thrust away the contradictory and, indeed, ridiculous notions that seemed insistent on plaguing him. He would not think of it. Whatever the reason for his being here, he would reach his goal without resorting to emotional ends, without falling into the nonsensical imaginations of the human mind. If he could not determine what he wished to know through clear thought and logic, then he would leave with no answer. Better to have ignorance than to have confusion. To have nothing was better than to have something that made no sense. If this confusion persisted...

"Hi," he heard a familiar voice say.

Moving only his eyes, he saw Orihime walking carefully across the roof toward him.

"I hope I'm not interrupting," she smiled.

Ulquiorra merely looked at her, saying nothing, as she came and sat beside him again. She certainly was interrupting, but he did not mind it just now. If she disliked remembering that night of darkness, as she had said, Ulquiorra realized now that he disliked remembering it even more so. Best not to think of it. Let her remind him that he had not eaten her concoctions this night or that he must sleep before "school" in the morning or that he was not "properly dressed" for this cold night. Better to deal with nonsense outside of his own head than within it.

"You were gone so late tonight, I was starting to get worried," she continued, looking out at the town around them. "But then I knew that I shouldn't be; after all, you can take care of yourself, I know."

Ulquiorra turned his own eyes forward without replying, choosing now to banish all thought from his mind and to simply relax. He would think more tomorrow. He had thought enough for today.

* * *

Orihime licked her lips. They had been sitting together in silence for a few minutes now, and she sorely wished that he would say _something_. She really had been worried when he'd been out for so long. It's true that she knew he was capable of taking care of himself, so she knew that it couldn't be that he was in any actual danger, but the fearful thought had come to her that he might not come back by choice. Suppose he decided that he was finished here and was ready to leave? Would he tell her? Surely he would! He'd been staying with her for some time now, and _surely_ he'd be polite enough to let her know before he just vanished.

Maybe she should ask. Yes, she could just ask him whether he was planning to leave anytime soon. That would be natural enough. No, it might sound like she _wanted_ him to leave, and she couldn't have him thinking that! Well, maybe if she phrased it just right, saying how much she liked having him here and telling him how much she hoped he would stay for a long time, then... No, because that might start the idea of his leaving in his mind if he wasn't already thinking about it. Maybe...

"Did you see that Ishida-kun took first place in the midterms again?" she asked suddenly. _Why did I say that?!_ she asked herself.

"I did not notice," replied Ulquiorra calmly.

"Um, I suppose you placed right where you wanted to place, didn't you?"

"Given that my placement is relative to those around me, I have little to no control over exactly where I place."

"Ah, well ... were you happy with where you placed?"

"It makes no difference to me."

 _Why am I talking about school?!_ Orihime moaned inwardly. _Can't I think of something else to say? Come on, Orihime, be brave! Just tell him that you want him to stay!_ She shook her head. _No! I can't say that!_

"You are agitated," came his deep voice, breaking through her thoughts. "Were you unhappy with your own placement?"

"Huh? No! I mean, I think..." Orihime stuttered nervously. "I just ... I wanted ... to ask you..."

"Ask," he ordered calmly.

"Could we fly up to the stars again?" she blurted out. _Why did I ask that?_

Ulquiorra turned to look at her then. She blushed slightly but managed to smile also. After all, it would be fun to go on another excursion like their last one. Maybe up there, above the clouds, away from the normal life down here, she could finally calm her nerves enough to be honest with him. Maybe.

For a time, he said nothing, and Orihime wondered whether perhaps he hadn't enjoyed the trip last time. She couldn't guess that he was weighing his earlier conversation with a certain Shinigami captain, trying to decide whether releasing even his first form would be unwise at this time.

"It is already late," he said at last. "It would be better to wait until a night where you have no early obligations on the following day."

"Oh, okay," she replied, lowering her eyes. He was right. He saw how she had to rush almost every morning. Of course it wouldn't be good to stay up late again on a school night, seeing that it was really almost time to go to bed now as it was. Now he really did seem like Sora: telling her that she needed to learn to be responsible.

"Thank you," she said softly, "for thinking of that."

"Hm."

 _Wait!_ she thought. _He said we'd do it another time! That means he plans to stay!_

"So, is that a promise?" she asked, turning to him with a grin.

"What?"

"Will you take me another time, when we don't have school the next day?"

"If you like," answered Ulquiorra.

"Thank you!" she exclaimed. Yes, he was certainly planning to stay, she decided.

"If I am still here," he added.

Orihime felt her heart lurch. She looked at him, trying to hide the horror in her eyes, but he wasn't looking at her now anyway.

"If ... you're still here?" she repeated quietly.

"I will not remain in the Land of the Living forever, Orihime," he replied coldly.

Again, Orihime felt her heart tremble. How could he call her by name at a time like this? He was saying that he was leaving her, and yet he was calling her by name? How cruel! Of course, she had told him to call her by name, but even so!

"Why?" she whispered.

"Why?" he repeated.

"Why do you have to leave?"

Silently, he turned his face to look at her. "What reason is there for me to stay?"

Orihime looked back at him, her own emotions in turmoil. When had she started feeling so strongly for him? It's true that she wanted him to stay, but she hadn't realized how much she wanted it until now, when he was telling her that he would leave. She wanted to catch hold of him and not let go. He couldn't leave! He couldn't!

"Is ... is there some reason ... why you have to go?" she asked.

He blinked at her. She licked her lips, seeing the apparent confusion in his eyes, and felt hope rise within her.

"I'd like you to stay," she said softly.

* * *

It had never been difficult for Ulquiorra to mask his own emotions, but he wondered now whether that was because he felt so few of them. After all, in his many years as Aizen's fourth Espada, he had never had any difficulty in distinguishing exactly what he was feeling nor why he was feeling it in those times where he felt anything at all. It had only been since his interactions with this human woman become more frequent that Ulquiorra had begun to question the reasons and origins behind his own emotions with no satisfactory answer. Even so, most instances were paltry and practically insignificant. Over the last few weeks, however, they had become more frequent and tangled. At first, he had scarcely noticed the gradually encroaching confusion that clouded his thoughts when he was around her. After all, he was living among humans, functioning (for a large part) within the confines of a human body, trying (in vain) to unravel the mystery that was the human heart and mind. He was surrounded by confusion. She was merely one of many who confused him.

The night that they had flown above the town together was the first time that it had struck him strongly how different it was when he was with her. He _felt_. He felt ... for _her_. He wasn't sure exactly what he felt, nor had he any idea why, but it was there nonetheless.

This confusion was one of the reasons that had led him to make the decision he had just voiced to her: he would return to Hueco Mundo, even if he had no answer to his initial inquest. He knew that he must return in time regardless, but he had hoped to accomplish his goal of gaining understanding of these humans first. Now, however, he was beginning to believe that he could never understand them. And, in addition to this, he found that _she_ was a growing distraction. She occupied more and more of his waking thoughts, though that was not his intent. How long would it be before he could think of nothing else? At what point would her presence conquer his mind entirely? No, best to be done with it before then, while his mind was still fully under his own control. He had decided that he would continue to work toward his initial plan for another week, perhaps two, and would then leave, successful or unsuccessful. He had not told her yet, but there had been no need. He would tell her when he left.

Now, looking into her eyes as she asked him to stay, Ulquiorra found himself almost fully overcome with the cloud of confusing emotions. He gazed at her, lost for the moment. He was overwhelmed with the desire to protect her; the desire to be near to her; the desire to ... to understand _her_. Not to understand humans, but to understand _her_ and her alone. No one else mattered. All that mattered was the creature before him. The eyes that poured forth such vast quantities of emotions; the face that radiated kindness and care and yet such determination likewise; the mouth that would speak the most convoluted nonsense and the most profound and yet simple questions; the hands that would clap for joy or clench in anger... The hand that had struck himself, so long ago. The hand that had reached for his ... that he had been unable to grasp.

The hand that ... held his heart.

 _"Her heart," he recalled, from the moment of his death, "was right here, in my hand."_

Almost without realizing what he was doing, he had extended his hand toward her. She lifted her own hand to take his, and, as their palms pressed together, he felt it: he held her heart in his hand, and she held his in hers. The moment from above the dome of Las Noches returned once more, no longer veiled in mystery and confusion, but now fully realized and consummated beyond his wildest dreams. What was here was beyond reason: it was beyond his mind's ability to understand. Even so, he could not deny it. He felt it. He stared at their hands, holding tightly to each other, and he knew. Somehow, beyond understanding, he knew.

Lifting his eyes to hers again, he knew that above all he wanted to hold her, to possess her, to ... consume her. In that moment of insanity, he wanted to have her always within his own spirit, forever with him, never letting her go. He found himself leaning forward, drawing her closer to himself, inhaling the scent of her body and soul together. She didn't resist. She drew nearer to him also, oblivious to the clear and present danger. His eyes drank in her form; his breathing deepened as he anticipated what was to come; his muscles all but trembled as he felt her in his grasp. He wrapped his free arm around her, drawing her close to himself, but, as he did so, he saw her eyes flutter closed. Her head tilted back as she leaned toward him, and her lips parted slightly.

In that moment, he awoke to what he was doing. She was responding to him as a human; he was responding to her as a Hollow. She would have kissed him; he would have consumed her. In shock and horror, he thrust her back from himself, rising quickly to his feet and turning his back to her, blocking her from his vision.

How could he do such a thing? What had come over him? He had not fed on human souls in over a century nor had he been tempted to do so. Why now? What was this hunger that he had felt when he looked at her? This desire? This consuming passion? It was like nothing that he had ever felt! He struggled to keep his breathing steady and to clear his head. He must think clearly. He _must_! This confusion would drive him back into the mindless abyss from which his soul had risen so long ago. He must not allow that to happen!

He must leave.

Yes, that was clear. He must flee this place. There was no other option. He had to leave her. Now. Tonight. He had to leave this land. He had to be free from the impenetrable cloud that far too often overtook his mind here. He had to prevent himself from ever losing control of himself again.

He had to protect her.

She was not safe with him. To leave was the only choice, if he wished her to be safe. This nonsense about the heart would lead only to her death at his hands. Of that, he was now sure. If he allowed the confusion and the insanity to overcome him, he would cease to be who he was, and he would destroy her himself. He could not allow that to happen. He must leave.

Taking a deep breath, he calmed himself. He still stood, eyes now closed, his back to her. He then realized that she had neither moved nor spoken. She had responded to his advance, thinking that he had wanted something other than what he did; he had then shoved her back from himself roughly; and yet she said nothing. She didn't move. He could sense that she remained behind himself. But she was silent. She didn't move. Why? Curious, he carefully looked over his shoulder.

She sat on the roof in the same place, but she looked up at him in confusion. There was no fear; no anger; not even hurt. Only confusion and a little concern. She stared at him, clearly seeking an answer to some question, but to what? Ulquiorra blinked. He then saw what so confused her. Her hand was still imprisoned in his.

How was he still holding her hand? Had he not let go? Clearly he hadn't. He had stood and turned, but his hand had not released its grip. In mild embarrassment, he tried now to let go.

He couldn't.

His hand trembled. As he struggled with his own mind, ordering himself silently to release her, his body refused. He could not let her go. He _would_ not let her go. He would not leave her. He knew that he should, that he must, but he could not. He would not let go.

As if sensing the inner turmoil that he felt, or perhaps seeing the confusion in his own eyes, Orihime rose to her own feet and stepped forward. Ulquiorra looked at her in apprehension. He wanted to tell her to run, to get away from himself, before it was too late. She should strike him again, should order him out of her home, should insist that he leave this land. She should not be coming closer to him. And yet that was exactly what she was doing. Without releasing her own grip on his hand, she stepped up to him and wrapped her other arm around him, pressing her head to his chest silently.

Again, Ulquiorra felt the sense of insanity coming over him as her body was pressed to his, her scent filling his nostrils, and her warmth flooding over him. He wanted to hold her to himself always and never let go! He wanted to wrap her within himself, making her a permanent part of his own being, such that they would always be as close as they were now. She was his! He would never let go!

No. She was _not_ his. He would not allow himself to take her soul.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

 _Retain control_ , he thought to himself. _She holds my heart, as I hold hers. I am not a mindless Hollow; I have risen above that. I can protect her. I can protect her from myself. I_ will _protect her._ I _will protect her._

His own free arm rose to wrap around her. He pressed her gently into himself, listening intently to her quiet breathing.

 _Never leave me,_ he thought. _Never let me go._

With all of the mental strength that was in him, Ulquiorra forced the confusion and insanity from his thoughts. If it meant that he would feel nothing, then he would feel nothing. To protect her meant everything; he would not allow her to be hurt. As he held her to himself, feeling her human heart beating against his empty chest, he sighed gently. He was empty, but she would fill him; not because he would take her forcefully, but because she wanted to do so. She wished to be with him. She wished him to be with her. He saw now clearly how much he wanted the same thing.

He would not let her go. He would not hurt her. He would not allow himself to hurt her. He would protect her. She would fill the emptiness in him with light and peace by her own will. But he would not let her go.

"Please stay," she whispered. "Please don't leave."

He exhaled deeply.

"Hold onto me," he whispered in return, "and don't let me leave."


	12. Matters of the Heart - Part 2

_**Chapter 12**_

 **Matters of the Heart -** **Part** **2**

* * *

 ** _A/N: This is a very short chapter: part 2 of the previous chapter. It just seemed too long to have in one, so I split it. Special thanks to Isharaine for her help! If you haven't read her story_** Crush ** _, you should._**

* * *

The next morning, Orihime tumbled out of bed, realizing that she had pressed the snooze button at least twice in her sleep. She was going to be late for school again! Quickly she pulled on her uniform, shaking her head to fully wake herself.

"Ulquiorra!" she yelled, stumbling out of the bedroom. "We're going to be late!"

As she rushed into the kitchen to grab her breakfast, the events of the previous night suddenly came over her like a flood. How had she forgotten? She blushed a bright red and looked toward the living room. What would he think of her, waking him like that after last night? She had just burst into the room, yelling at him, and then moved to the kitchen. What must he be thinking right now?!

Well, then again, how else should she have awakened him? He had warned her to never again try to waken him with physical contact. Of course, there wasn't any physical contact that she thought would be appropriate to use to wake him now anyway, when she thought of it. After all, it wasn't like they had actually _kissed_ , although she had certainly been ready to do so, caught up in the moment, as she had been. But then he hadn't wanted to do that, as he had made clear when he pushed her away, but he had still held onto her hand, showing that he wasn't trying to say that he didn't want to be near her, just that he didn't want to kiss her, right?

She clapped her hands against her cheeks to bring herself back to the present. What were they now? They weren't just friends anymore, were they? Well, had they been friends before last night? She had wanted to be his friend, but would he have said that he was her friend? Would he even know what friends meant? What about them now? Would he know what boyfriends and girlfriends were? He'd seen the way that the other girls at school looked at him, and he and she had discussed that, hadn't they? Yes, and he had said that he wasn't surprised that they were attracted to him, given that he was strong, but that they wouldn't be attracted to him if they knew what he was, but they didn't know, so that was why they were still attracted to him, but didn't that mean that he would think that _she_ shouldn't be attracted to him, given that she _did_ know what he was? Wait; she was _attracted_ to him! She really and truly was attracted to Ulquiorra Cifer! Orihime shook her head again, trying to clear her thoughts.

"Is something wrong?" came a deep voice from the living room.

"Huh?" she gasped, startled from her thoughts. "Oh!" She realized that she'd been standing still, not making the normal sounds of a hurried breakfast and packing lunch. And, looking at the clock, she squealed in horror, realizing that she would _definitely_ be late, no matter how quickly she ran!

Pushing everything else to the back of her mind to deal with it later, Orihime stuffed a banana into her mouth as she hurriedly packed her lunch and rushed to the front door. As usual, he was already there, dressed now in his gigai, looking perfectly calm and collected. Orihime was, not for the first time, so very jealous of him! If only _she_ had a fake body that she could put on and be completely ready for school each morning! They stepped out of the apartment, and she quickly closed and locked the door.

Turning then, Orihime gasped as she was suddenly lifted from the ground. The world flew past her in a blur too swift comprehend, and suddenly all was still. She was in Ulquiorra's arms, her hands clasped behind his neck as if she was holding onto him for dear life, and she was staring into his emerald green eyes.

Everything around them faded. They were floating in the clouds with the sun shining brightly and no one else in the world. She could see nothing but his beautiful, majestic face framed by his gorgeous hair. Everything about him was perfect, as he held her like a fairytale prince would carry the rescued princess. He looked into her eyes, saying nothing. Orihime felt that she could lie there in his embrace forever, just staring at him. She didn't need to say anything; he didn't need to say anything. She was lost in his perfect gaze. She didn't even notice when he gently set her on her feet.

"Now you are not late," came his voice, gradually breaking through her thoughts.

"...huh?" she breathed, not really understanding what he had said.

"You can release me now."

Orihime blinked, the spell suddenly broken. They weren't in the clouds, and they certainly weren't the only people in the world. They were on the ground, and she could now hear voices not far away. Quickly she pulled her arms away from him and clasped her hands behind her back, blushing in embarrassment. She looked around herself and realized that they were in a side street, just outside the schoolyard. She wasn't late for school! She gasped and turned back with a radiant smile to thank him, but he was gone.

Orihime felt her heart sink as she realized that she had clearly misjudged his motives. He hadn't been being romantic; he had been being practical. He knew that she wouldn't make it to school on time, and so──

Wait! That _was_ romantic! He had known that she would be late, and so he had helped her! He had _carried_ her! Her smile widened again as she realized how truly sweet he had been.

Of course ... he was gone now. Where was he?

Looking toward the school building, Orihime saw his lean form walking casually up the stairs and into the building. Her smiled faded again. He couldn't even have waited and walked with her?

Never in such a short period of time, Orihime thought, had her emotions received so many jolts of ups and downs. How could he possibly expect her to simply walk into school and behave normally now?! Was he playing with her emotions? No, she realized, he surely wasn't. After all, she had been the one who had asked that they walk separately, never entering or leaving the schoolyard together so as not to attract attention. He was honoring her wishes, even now. Even after last night, that had clearly meant something to him as well as to her, and even after he had swept her off of her feet to carry her to school in his strong arms, he was still respecting her request to keep his distance in public. He really was sweet! And after all, she'd have him all to herself tonight to be able to tell him thank you. And the day after tomorrow was Friday, which meant no school the day after, which meant that they could, perhaps, go flying again!

With another wide grin and a somewhat distracted air, Orihime waltzed forward, her feet scarcely touching the ground as she made her way to the school.

* * *

Sitting in class that day, Orihime found it impossible to focus on the lesson. She found herself gazing out of the window at the white fluffy clouds drifting through the sky. She imagined her special castle in the clouds, only now in the sunshine, where she lived with Ulquiorra. Everything was bright and beautiful. It was all white, just like Las Noches, so Ulquiorra would actually feel at home there, but there wasn't any black there, because the sun kept everything bright and happy. It wasn't like the fake sun either, because this sun was warm and real and made everyone feel so alive! Ulquiorra could fly back and forth between the castle and the Earth whenever they needed anything, and Orihime would spend her time building new rooms and new decorations with the smaller clouds that would float by them. One day, she wanted to invite Tatsuki-chan and all her friends to come and visit, but Ulquiorra said that the cloud castle wasn't big enough, so she wanted him to gather more clouds to make it larger, but he was tired from his last trip and just wanted to take a nap, and she supposed that she shouldn't argue with that, because he really did work hard to make her happy, so she just let him go and lie down while she fixed supper. Of course, in the clouds, the kitchen was different, because they didn't have electricity up there, so cooking anything was difficult, because there wouldn't be a stove or an oven, or, if there was, then there wouldn't be any way to use it. But, then again, they _did_ have the heat from the sun, and even though it wasn't as hot as an oven, perhaps she could make a special cloud-oven that would collect the heat from the sun and then get very, very hot, at least enough to be able to cook their meals, so long as she──

"Inoue Orihime!"

Orihime jumped and looked at the instructor, startled.

"Yes, Sensei!" she exclaimed.

" _Please_ try to pay attention."

"Yes, Sensei," she blushed, lowering her eyes as a few students snickered.

Orihime quickly buried her nose in her book, listening intently as the lesson continued. She was able to do so for almost an entire minute, before she found her gaze wandering to the seat a little in front and to the left of her. She gazed at him, losing herself again in her thoughts and imaginations. How badly she wanted to reach forward and just brush the tips of her fingers against his luscious black hair! No, she thought, dropping her eyes again. She mustn't do that, especially here at school! Also, she knew that he wouldn't like it anyway, even if they weren't at school. She remembered how sensitive he'd been about the absence of his Hollow mask fragment in the gigai, and she knew that he still didn't like to be reminded of it. She mustn't touch his hair while he was wearing the gigai.

Stealing another glance at him, she smiled. She was glad that his gigai looked like him otherwise. It was special that she could always see him when she looked at him, rather than something that didn't even look like him, like when he had worn Urahara-san's gigai. Yes, he might not look completely human now, but that didn't matter. After all, he wasn't human; he was her fairy prince.

 _Focus!_ she thought, forcing her eyes back to her textbook. _Why can't I focus? What do I normally think about during school? Let's see; I think about lunch, and what we're learning, and..._

Almost unconsciously, her eyes again lifted to look at a bright shock of orange hair ahead and to her right. Yes, that was the face that usually occupied her thoughts. As she looked at him, she felt the familiar skip of her heart and butterflies in her stomach. In horror, she stared at Kurosaki-kun. Why was she feeling this way? She looked back at Ulquiorra and felt the peace and joy, the serenity and excitement of the morning. It was contradictory, she supposed, but that's what she felt. But then, looking at Kurosaki-kun, she felt ... _something_. Why would she feel like this for two different men? That wasn't right! She was only supposed to be in love with _one_ man. And, right now, she wanted that one to be Ulquiorra, not Kurosaki-kun, even though that realization surprised her.

Again she looked discreetly from one to the other. Yes, she felt for each of them, but she noticed now that she felt differently for each of them. What was the difference? Looking at Ulquiorra, she felt the calm love that she had felt with Sora mixed with something more exciting and fanciful. Looking at Kurosaki-kun, she felt a strong bond of friendship and ... like she was looking at Yamada Takayuki*. Or maybe Clark Kent. Yes, that was truly how she felt. It burst upon her suddenly: what she had felt for all these years. It wasn't love; it was infatuation mixed with friendship. He was a close and dear friend, and she loved him truly in that way, but he was also a superhero, in his own way, and she was infatuated with him for that. It was like the girls who thought that they were in love with Ulquiorra. They didn't even know him! They loved what they saw, what they felt, and what they imagined, but they didn't really love _him_. Orihime really _did_ love him! She loved the _real_ him! She knew what he was, and she still loved him. With Kurosaki-kun, she cared for him, but, for the first time, she realized that she didn't truly love him. It was a schoolgirl crush; nothing more.

She gazed at her long-time hero, smiling absently as she felt a peace with her own feelings that she hadn't felt in years. How long had she tortured herself, believing that she was in love with Kurosaki-kun and crying that he was not in love with her? She had confused friendship and infatuation with love, and now she saw that. How was it different from the tears that other girls had shed when Yamada Takayuki had married? How would it be different from how the other girls here would feel when she and Ulquiorra really did──

Feeling a sharp poke, Orihime turned to look at the frowning face of Tatsuki.

"If you don't want _everyone_ to know you have a crush on him," she hissed quietly, "stop staring at him so dreamily!"

Orihime blinked in horror. Quickly she buried her face in her book, blushing again. Had Tatsuki seen her staring at Ulquiorra? No one even knew that they knew each other yet! Not even Tatsuki! What must her friend think of her?

Suddenly she realized: she hadn't been staring at Ulquiorra; she'd been staring at Kurosaki-kun. Tatsuki still thought she was in love with Kurosaki-kun! A burst of laughter escaped her lips before she could catch herself. Sensei frowned as Orihime clapped her hands over her mouth, trying to suppress her giggles.

"Inoue Orihime," came the sensei's sharp reproof. "Do you need to stand in the hall, until you can control yourself?"

Orihime shook her head. "N-n-no, Sensei," she all but gasped, still trying to get herself under control. "I'm fine."

Several of the students turned to look at her as she fought to contain her laughter. Even Ulquiorra turned slightly, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye. Returning his momentary gaze, Orihime smiled, calming herself at last. She was so happy. She was happier right now than she could ever remember being. She had wonderful friends. She had someone whom she loved and who loved her in return. He wasn't ever going to leave her. She had everything she could ever want.

 _Nothing can spoil this,_ she thought happily. _Nothing._

* * *

The captains of the first and second squads were waiting when Tōshirō entered.

"What have you found, Hitsugaya-Taichō?" asked the First Captain.

"Yamamoto-Taichō," answered Tōshirō with a respectful bow. "I have confirmed beyond any doubt the reports of the earlier scouts: one of Aizen's Espada survived the war and is currently maintaining a presence in Karakura Town. When confronted, he was non-hostile at first but made it clear that he would fight if provoked. He said that he has no intention of leaving that area nor of returning to Hueco Mundo, though he refused to give any hint as to his reason for being in the Land of the Living now."

"Were you able to determine the threat that this Espada poses?"

"I believe him to be Ulquiorra Cifer, the Fourth Espada. His strength is surpassed only by those three who fought with us above the Fake Karakura Town. According to Kurosaki Ichigo's report, he has a second Zanpakutō release beyond his first, so it would be difficult to say exactly how strong he truly is. I do feel fairly certain that if he were to enter into a true battle against the Shinigami in Karakura Town, then much of the city would be destroyed."

"In other words," put in the Second Captain, "we must take him by surprise, before he has a chance to release his Zanpakutō."

"If we want to avoid great destruction and loss of life in the Land of the Living, then yes," agreed Tōshirō. "But this Espada may not be so easily overcome. With the _Gentei Reiin_ in place, no Shinigami Taichō would stand a chance, even against his unreleased state."

" _Gentei Kaijo_ will be granted before the battle is entered," Yamamoto assured them. "Suí-Fēng-Taichō," he continued, turning to the other captain. "You will go to Karakura Town and confront the Espada. See to it that you avoid destruction to the city, as much as possible."

"Some damage will likely be unavoidable, First Captain, no matter how quickly the battle finishes," remarked Tōshirō. "Also, if he _is_ able to release his Zanpakutō before he is defeated, it may require more than one captain to finish him."

"Have you forgotten, Tenth Captain," snapped Suí-Fēng, "that _you_ defeated the Third Espada on your own? I can handle the Fourth."

Hitsugaya pressed his lips together and didn't answer. His scowl, however, indicated that he still would have liked to argue the point.

"If you can defeat the Espada before he can release his Zanpakutō, do so, Second Captain," ordered Yamamoto. "We must prevent the destruction to Karakura Town that was inflicted upon the Fake Karakura Town during the last Espada battle there. Try to draw him away from the city before the battle. If he believes that he can easily defeat you, he may be more willing to follow."

"If I may, First Captain," interposed Tōshirō again. "This Espada does not seem inclined to attack Shinigami when he is unprovoked. Even when I offered mild provocation, he contented himself with a mere threat in response; he did not attack me, though he could have done so. Whatever his reason for being there, he is not hiding his presence, but he also does not seem to be ready to enter into battle against Soul Society. I doubt that he will pursue a Shinigami into a battle, even supposing that he will win. I believe that he would rather allow his adversary to flee than to give chase."

"We can't afford to wait until _he_ is ready to fight," replied Suí-Fēng roughly. "Whatever his reason for being there, we can't allow him to complete it. By the time he is prepared to attack, it may be too late."

"I agree," nodded Yamamoto-Taichō. "Suí-Fēng-Taichō. Destroy the Espada immediately. If you can discover anything of his plans, especially whether he has other Arrancar under his control and whether any of the other Espada survived, then do so. However, the elimination of the Espada is the first priority."

Bowing to the First Captain, the Second Captain stated confidently, "I will not fail you, Yamamoto-Taichō. He will die at my hand."

* * *

 _ **A/N: *** **Yamada Takayuki is a famous Japanese actor, considered to be a teen heartthrob. Coincidentally, he and Ulquiorra are the same height: 169 cm (5** **' 6½").**_


	13. A Battle

_**Chapter 13**_

 **A Battle**

* * *

 **A/N: Very minor swearing in this chapter. If you're under twelve, you have been warned.**

 **Also, I'm sorry for the late update on this. Apart from work being crazy, my mind keeps coming up with new AU adventures that I want to write. I promise not to start publishing any of them before I finish this one, but I will likely take the time to write at least a few outlines and maybe some chapters. Is it impressive or just pathetic that I'm up to fifteen other story ideas, all starring Ulquiorra? Once I finish this one, I may take a poll as to which of them I should try to publish next. :)**

* * *

Orihime paced nervously around the otherwise empty apartment. How long had it been? She looked at the clock, reminding herself that he really hadn't been gone that long yet, and their talk would likely take a while, and really, the longer it took the better, right? Or was that wrong? If it was taking a while, was that a bad sign? After all, Kurosaki-kun didn't seem one to talk a lot; he preferred to fight.

Were they fighting?! No! They mustn't do that!

Oh, no, of course they wouldn't be fighting. Kurosaki-kun couldn't fight on Ulquiorra's level anymore, right? Yes, that was right. There was no way that he would try to fight him now.

But then why was it taking so long?!

A knock on the door startled Orihime from her worrying. Who could that be? With a mild sense of unease, she moved to open the door.

* * *

Ulquiorra and Orihime had talked late on the night previous, discussing what it would mean and how it would work if Ulquiorra was to stay. It was clear that both now wanted this, and Orihime would have been content to leave it at that: she wanted him to stay; he wanted to stay; therefore he should stay. The rest would work itself out as it came. Ulquiorra, on the other hand, preferred to know what he was doing, what was likely to be the consequences, and how he would deal with them.

The most immediate concern in both of their minds was Kurosaki Ichigo. True, he was no threat at this time, but he was a close friend of Orihime's, and Ulquiorra refused to underestimate him, even in his current condition. After all, he had seen this human rise from the dead, once figuratively and twice literally. He had little to no doubt that Kurosaki would regain his ability to stand on Ulquiorra's level or possibly even as his superior in time. For these reasons as well as those of friendship, it was decided that Kurosaki would be the first with whom Ulquiorra would speak of this plan. If Kurosaki did not approve of him staying here ─ not merely as a visitor but as a constant companion and perhaps more to Orihime ─ then there could be trouble. Of course, such trouble would not destroy their own plans; it would simply reshape them slightly.

If Kurosaki was in favor, then speaking with the Quincy and Urahara would come next. To these two, Orihime could speak, although Ulquiorra had no objection to being present. Afterward, Orihime could speak with any of her friends whom she cared to tell (and he suspected from her excitement that that would include every human in this city), but Ulquiorra had no interest in the reactions of any beyond those three. The two young men were the only humans apart from Orihime with whom Ulquiorra had had any significant interaction in this town, and Urahara was not someone to be simply ignored nor taken for granted.

So it was that after school this day, Ulquiorra had returned to the apartment only to change and had then left immediately to visit the home of his former adversary, the man who had once killed him: Kurosaki Ichigo.

Ulquiorra's calm knock was answered by a small, human girl with blond hair who smiled pleasantly.

"Hello," she said. "Can I help you?"

"I wish to speak with Kurosaki Ichigo," replied Ulquiorra. "I believe he is here."

"Onii-chan is upstairs," nodded the girl. "Please come in. Are you a school friend?"

"I do attend his school," answered Ulquiorra obliquely, following her into the little house.

Once inside, Ulquiorra met the wide-eyed, almost terrified gaze of another young girl, this one with black hair. She stared at Ulquiorra with such horror that he realized that she must know what Hollows were and had, perhaps, had interactions with them in the past. The first girl clearly had no idea of who it was that had entered their home, but this second one did. Ulquiorra momentarily considered assuring this girl that he was no threat, but he quickly decided that that determination had best be left to the young man with whom he had come to speak. Kurosaki could state whether or not this girl should fear him so.

"Onii-chan!" shouted the blond girl, walking up the staircase, wholly oblivious to her almost panic-stricken companion. "There's someone here to see you!"

Ulquiorra waited where he was. He glanced at the other girl again, and she shuddered.

"Who are you?" she whispered.

"I see that you know what I am," he replied. "Does it matter then who?"

The girl swallowed. "Are you here to ... to kill Ichigo?"

"I am merely here to speak with him. I mean him no harm."

From the girl's expression, it was clear that he hadn't convinced her. Still, her opinion was irrelevant to him, so he chose to ignore her again, seeing that she seemed to have asked all that she intended to ask.

"Cifer!" came a shout from the staircase. "What the hell are you doing here?!"

"Kurosaki Ichigo," replied Ulquiorra calmly. "I wish to speak with you."

"And you couldn't talk to me today at school?!" Kurosaki leapt across to him (still complaining loudly), grabbed him by the arm, and attempted to drag him upstairs. Ulquiorra lifted an eyebrow, considering refusing to move, but decided that it would be simplest to comply. So he allowed himself to be half-led, half-drug up the narrow staircase as Kurosaki loudly voiced his disapproval of the other's presence. "──and would it have _killed_ you to say something about wanting to talk, rather than just showing up like this?"

"Onii-chan!" came the voice of the blond-haired girl after them. "Supper's almost ready! You'll invite your friend to stay, won't you?"

Kurosaki apparently didn't hear her; he didn't respond, or at least not to her, as the two reached a small bedroom at the top of the staircase with which Ulquiorra was already mildly familiar, at least by sight.

"──and why can't you come in the window like a normal spirit, so that my family won't see you?!" Kurosaki demanded, still not giving Ulquiorra a chance to answer. "Do you have any idea how much trouble you and I would _both_ be in if my old man was here?! You'd better be glad he's working late tonight! If he was here──"

They had entered the bedroom by this point. Kurosaki closed the door and dropped onto his bed. Finally, he took a breath, having apparently finished his rant. He motioned Ulquiorra to a chair.

"So," he asked, seeming to have calmed himself a little. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"As I said, I wish to speak with you."

"Okay. Go ahead."

"Kurosaki Ichigo," intoned Ulquiorra, looking at him seriously. "I have decided that I wish to remain in the Land of the Living indefinitely. Out of respect for yourself, I intended to discuss it with you before making it known to anyone else."

Kurosaki blinked. "Wow," he said. "That's a surprise. Have you told Inoue? I don't think that she's prepared to have a Hollow roommate 'indefinitely'."

"Inoue Orihime is the reason that I am staying. I wish to remain at her side."

Kurosaki looked at him, waiting for him to continue, and Ulquiorra merely returned the look, waiting for him to understand. When he did, Kurosaki's eyes popped open wide, then narrowed in a frown. He glared at Ulquiorra, as if trying to decide whether the latter was joking. Once he had assured himself that he wasn't, he began what Ulquiorra would have referred to as a fully-expected tirade.

"WHAT?! You can't be serious! Are you serious? That's disgusting! What do you want with Inoue? You can't possibly mean what I think you mean! Or do you?!"

"Knowing the similarities between your own mind and that of Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, the sixth Espada, I've little doubt that I do _not_ mean what you think I mean. However, not knowing with any certainty what you are thinking, I cannot say definitively. Perhaps you would care to elaborate."

"How about _you_ elaborate?! What are _you_ thinking? What do you mean you want to stay by her side? Are you talking about ... um... AND I'M NOTHING LIKE GRIMMJOW!"

"I would disagree with you. But that aside, I will say that Inoue Orihime is in favor of the arrangement. She and I have discussed this, and she wishes me to stay also."

"What did you say to her?!"

"I doubt that it was any single thing that I said."

"Okay, well, be general. What did you tell her?"

"I fail to see how this is relevant."

"Relevant, my ass! I want to know what you said to her to make her think that she wants _you_ to stay with _her_ 'indefinitely'!"

Ulquiorra closed his eyes and sighed. "Deny it if you wish, but you _are_ like Grimmjow."

"I am not!"

"If your only objection is that Inoue Orihime ought not to prefer my company, than that is something you may discuss with her. If, however, you have any other objection to my remaining here, I request that you name it."

Kurosaki calmed himself again and looked at Ulquiorra seriously.

"Cifer," he asked. "Do you ... _like_ her?"

Ulquiorra likewise lifted his expressionless gaze to meet Kurosaki's directly.

"Yes," he answered simply.

"And does she, um, _like_ you too?"

"She has said that she does, and I believe her to be sincere."

Kurosaki blinked. He then blinked again. At last, he took a deep breath and let it out.

"Wow," was all he seemed to be able to say. He scratched his head, looked at the ceiling, considered, looked back at Ulquiorra, shook his head, blinked his eyes, took a breath, and scratched his head again.

"I guess ... if it's what you guys really want ... I mean..." He shook his head again. "Wow. That's just weird." He shrugged. "But I guess it's not that much different than a Shinigami and a human liking each other, and that's happened. Well, it happened once." He frowned. "It's still a good thing he's not here tonight though," he muttered. Heaving a sigh, he looked at Ulquiorra again. "So, are you planning to actually _marry_ her?"

"I know that marriage is a normal human custom," replied Ulquiorra, "but I do not understand it fully. What exactly does it mean? What does it entail?"

"Um, well," Kurosaki stuttered again. "Marriage is ... when you love someone, and you tell them that, and you say that you want to be together for the rest of your lives."

"Hm," replied Ulquiorra, considering. "In that case, I would say that Orihime and I are already married."

"What?!" exclaimed Kurosaki. "You two──! Wait, no, that's not all that there is! Okay, just because you said that, doesn't make you married."

"Then what does it mean to be married?"

"It means taking care of each other, and loving each other, and not hurting each other, and ... and..."

"I repeat: in that case, we are married."

"You're _not_ married! There's more to it than that!"

"What more?"

"It's ... I..." Kurosaki trailed off with a frown. "I don't know," he admitted finally.

"If you do not know what it is yourself as a human, then why would you expect me to know enough about it to be able to answer you?"

"It's not like that!" exclaimed Kurosaki. "I mean ... I know what marriage is ... it's just that..." He heaved another sigh and grumbled under his breath.

"Onii-chan!" came a young voice from downstairs. "Supper's ready!"

Ulquiorra waited for Kurosaki to respond to his sister, then, when he didn't, Ulquiorra rose to his feet.

"If you have no further questions nor objections," he said, "then I will take my leave. Would you prefer that I make my exit through your window?"

"Huh? No! I mean, not now that you came in through the door. I meant that when you come, you should come through the window, and then Yuzu and Karin won't see you. By the way, how did Karin take it?"

"If she is the dark-haired one, she asked whether I had come to kill you. I do not think that she believed me when I told her that I had not."

Kurosaki smiled and opened his mouth, but he was interrupted by another shout.

"Onii-chan! Are you coming? Is your friend staying for supper?"

"Ichi-nii!" came another voice. "Are you alright?"

"Coming!" shouted Kurosaki. He jumped to his own feet. "Come on, stay for supper," he said, motioning toward the door. "If you're going to be here for a while, you need to get better with being around humans anyway."

"I have no need of eating," began Ulquiorra, but Kurosaki cut him off with a wave of a hand.

"You need to get used to pretending to be human. You can't stay here 'indefinitely' and keep acting like a Hollow. Besides, you still haven't tasted _good_ human food. Yuzu's the best cook I know. Also, Karin is going to need to get used to you too. Come on."

"You said that I should come to you secretly in future so that they would not see me; why then should they become accustomed to my presence?"

"No! If you're living here for a long time, then that's different. Just promise me that you won't fight my old man whenever you meet him."

Ulquiorra looked at him. "I do not understand."

Kurosaki shrugged with a chuckle. "Nevermind. You'll figure it out when you meet him. Just trust me. Come on."

Ulquiorra still hesitated, but Kurosaki again took hold of him to drag him back downstairs now. Preferring not to make a scene here, Ulquiorra allowed himself to be convinced to stay.

* * *

"... so Shūhei said, 'I'll tell him you were sick,' and I said, 'That's terribly sweet of you, but I think it's too late.' And then he turned around, and Taichō was standing right there!" Rangiku burst into laughter.

"Oh, poor Hisagi-san!" exclaimed Orihime. "I hope Toshirō-kun wasn't too hard on him."

"Oh, you know Taichō," shrugged Rangiku with a dismissive wave of the hand. "He's never in a good mood, no matter what you do."

Orihime smiled. Normally she would have argued this point, defending her other Shinigami friend, but tonight all she could think about was how much she hoped that Rangiku would leave before Ulquiorra returned. They hadn't had a chance to discuss what to do in the case of a Shinigami showing up unexpectedly, although she realized now that that's something that they really should have discussed, seeing that her apartment was practically a home-away-from-home for her two dear friends from the tenth squad. She supposed that she had just thought that there would be time to warn Ulquiorra, should either of them show up. But now, with him not here, and with her not knowing when he would get back, how could she warn him not to come in, or would he be able to sense Rangiku when he did come back before he actually came in? Orihime tried hard to hide her nervousness while also trying hard to think of a polite way to get Rangiku to leave.

"Oh!" she exclaimed suddenly. "I forgot! I have to go to the market to get scallions for tomorrow's dinner! I'm sorry, Rangiku-san; I hope you don't mind."

Rangiku tilted her head and looked at her curiously. "Isn't the market closed at this time of night?" she asked.

"Oh, yes!" Orihime blushed a bright red, though she tried to hide it behind a smile. "You're right! What was I thinking? Of course, it's closed! Well, I guess I'll have to get them tomorrow." She chuckled nervously. "Oh, but with how late it is, you probably need to get back, don't you? Toshirō-kun will be angry, won't he?"

Rangiku shrugged. "He's always angry," she replied. "It won't matter if I stay for a few more hours. I haven't seen you in so long. Besides, I still haven't told you what Ikkaku said!"

Orihime forced a smile and tried to hide the sweat beading on her brow. She stretched her senses to see whether she could feel Ulquiorra coming back, but she couldn't sense him. That meant that he wasn't close yet. She knew that he tried to keep his spiritual pressure cloaked, as much as he could with how massive it was, so she could never sense him when he was more than a few streets away. That was nice right now, because it told her that he wasn't close, but it was also a little nerve-wracking, seeing that she didn't know _where_ exactly he was. So, having no better option, she turned her mental focus again to trying to come up with a reason to politely ask Rangiku to leave.

* * *

The Second Captain waited patiently. She could sense the Hollow approaching her position, but she had no fear of him sensing hers. Her own reiatsu was kept too well suppressed. As captain of the Stealth Force, remaining perfectly concealed was practically second-nature, but Suí-Fēng was careful to pay special heed to her own spiritual presence tonight, seeing the opponent that she would be facing. She noticed that he was keeping his reiatsu well-suppressed also, but not well enough. He must have thought that he was safe from attack here. She would show him that he was wrong.

As the Espada finally entered her line of sight, she smirked. He was clearly too much at ease here, and that would be his undoing: he didn't even have his Zanpakutō with him.

 _What a fool_ , she thought. _He will regret underestimating the Gotei 13._ Silently, she gripped her own Zanpakutō.

"Sting all enemies to death," she breathed, " _Suzumebachi!_ "

The Espada was quick; she had to grant him that. Though he was given only the tiniest fraction of a second between when Suí-Fēng entered his sight and when her Zanpakutō touched him, his own sonido was nearly quick enough to save him. Suí-Fēng felt the tip of her blade enter his right shoulder at almost the same time that he vanished, but she did not take time to gloat. Moving with all of the speed for which she was known, she darted after him. She mustn't give him even a moment to think or pause; she had to strike again and quickly. Time was her greatest enemy now.

A second, perhaps, and the two were away from the town, darting through a dense portion of forest. Suí-Fēng supposed that this might be where he had stashed his blade, and that thought drove her to an even quicker burst of speed. Appearing suddenly in front of him, she thrust her blade forward. He stopped with impressive reflexes and managed to block the blow, receiving the second sting in his left arm instead of his face before vanishing back the way he had come.

"Too slow!" Suí-Fēng shouted, leaping after him again.

The dense forest may have slowed another captain, and the Espada did seem to be trying to use it to his advantage, but Suí-Fēng was completely unhindered. She dashed after him, often cutting ahead of him to force him back. In the next few approaches, she was unable to land more than a single sting, this one to his right arm, but she was at least comforted by the fact that he could not escape her. He was quick; she was quicker.

All at once, he leapt straight upward, possibly hoping to lose her amongst the thick branches, but Suí-Fēng dashed after him, pivoting in mid-air and shooting forward suddenly. She saw in his eyes that he realized his mistake, but by then it was too late.

Her blade found its mark, exactly where the last one had hit on his right arm.

A green cero appeared practically in her face at the same time, so Suí-Fēng had to dart quickly out of the way, barely singed by the unexpected attack. He had switched direction again, sonidoing down toward the ground, and Suí-Fēng spun around to follow him, but she was no longer concerned: the second sting had already been struck.

* * *

Orihime gasped, jumping up from where she was sitting. That had been Ulquiorra's reiatsu! It had flared up for only an instant, but it had most certainly been his! What was happening?!

"Orihime?" asked Rangiku, looking at her curiously. "Is something wrong?"

"I'm sorry, Rangiku, but I have to go!" she exclaimed, rushing toward the door.

Just as quickly, she was stopped by a grip on her arm.

"Orihime, what's the hurry?" asked Rangiku with a too-bright smile. "Surely there's nothing that urgent this late?"

"There's ... something I have to..." Orihime struggled to come up with an excuse, but her mind was far too distracted.

"Orihime," cooed Rangiku, still smiling. "Come and sit down; there's no need to rush out right now."

"Rangiku-san..." muttered Orihime, looking at her friend uncertainly as doubt entered her mind. There was no way that the Shinigami lieutenant had _not_ felt that flare in reiatsu. Why wasn't _she_ rushing out into the night also? "Rangiku," she stuttered. "D-d-didn't you feel that?"

"Oh, it's just a normal Hollow attack, I'm sure," shrugged Rangiku. "The others will handle it; don't you worry!"

"The others?" asked Orihime, her eyes widening in horror. "Is Toshiro-kun here?"

"No, not tonight," Rangiku shook her head. "But don't worry about it."

Orihime swallowed. "I'm sorry, Rangiku, but I have to go. Someone could be hurt!"

"They won't need you," Rangiku assured her calmly. "Trust me, Orihime; they can handle it."

Orihime felt her blood run cold. Fear gripped her heart as she knew that she needed to find Ulquiorra right away. Yanking her arm suddenly from her friend, she rushed out of the apartment.

"I'm sorry, Rangiku!" she called back over her shoulder as she ran.

"Orihime!" Rangiku called after her. When her friend didn't stop, Rangiku shook her head with a frown before leaping to the roof of the next building and flash-stepping into the night herself. She knew where her little friend was going, and she had to be sure to be there first.

* * *

Suí-Fēng broke through the branches just in time to see the pale body strike the ground heavily. The Hōmonka glowed and grew momentarily before the Espada dissolved into ash.

Landing on the ground herself, Suí-Fēng exhaled deeply. It had not taken long, as she had predicted, but it had still been a challenge. She was moderately surprised that he could move so quickly without releasing his Zanpakutō. Hitsugaya Taichō had clearly been right about not taking him too lightly. Still, it was over now. The Espada was dead.

"You cannot know the inconvenience you have caused me by destroying that," came a deep voice from above her.

Suí-Fēng spun around instantly. Her eyes widened in horror as she saw the Espada, perfectly undamaged, standing above her. As she noticed the pristine, white uniform and the partial Hollow mask, she realized her own mistake: the body she had just destroyed had been merely a gigai. He was now in his true form and would doubtless be even stronger and quicker than he had been.

 _Who would create a faux body that looks like an Espada?_ she thought briefly. _Doesn't that defeat the purpose of wearing one?_

Suí-Fēng was then unable to suppress the short gasp of horror as she noticed his hand resting comfortably on the green hilt of a long Zanpakutō.

"Enclose," came the deep voice once more. " _Murcielago._ "

Suí-Fēng braced herself to keep from being thrown back by the force of the massive wave of reiatsu that burst forth from the Arrancar. Trees were thrown aside like twigs as he allowed the full force of his might to flow out of him without the least suppression. Suí-Fēng gritted her teeth. This didn't look good. His altered appearance, while not terribly different from his original (excepting the massive black wings), exuded a force which she strongly doubted she could take alone. Even so, she wasn't about to go out without a fight.

"Impressive," she smirked, forcing a contemptuous expression across her face, "but you should know that I'm the one who defeated the Second Espada. You're the Fourth; you should only be half as difficult."

The Hollow before her didn't answer. His already dark expression didn't grow any darker with her taunts. His eyes never blinked and never left her face. He didn't move. Suí-Fēng prepared herself, watching him closely. If she could somehow catch him off-guard, she might still be able to do this. Without warning, she darted forward.

The speed at which he avoided her blow was such that she didn't even see him move. He was standing calmly in one place, and suddenly he was standing just as calmly in another place. As she pivoted and dashed back again, not taking time to wonder at his speed, the Espada again disappeared from before her just as she would have touched him. Again, he merely appeared nearby, still watching her darkly.

After a third failed attempt, Suí-Fēng paused. She knew that she needed another strategy and quickly.

"Coward," she taunted. "Is running all you can do?" She gauged the distance to him, noted a tree just behind him, and prepared to launch herself past him, hoping to surprise him with a different approach.

It was a strange feeling when Suí-Fēng then realized that the Espada had moved. She could see it, albeit just barely. She knew that he had now chosen to advance on her; she could see that his speed was such that she couldn't get out of the way; it was as if she was frozen in time, watching him advance and yet unable to do anything about it. He had been standing still, watching her calmly, and now he was upon her, his hand around her throat, and he didn't stop. Suí-Fēng felt her body thrown through the air, propelled by the deadly grip on her throat, and yet she was still unable to do anything.

Suddenly, her body smashed into the ground, the ice-cold hand still around her neck, creating a significant crater, she was sure. Even so, she managed to keep her senses enough to bring her blade up to pierce his outstretched arm. She reached forward with her left hand also, meaning to catch hold of him as he held her, but the white limb disappeared just before either of her hands could make contact. She found herself stabbing and grasping at the air.

Before she had a chance to rise, Suí-Fēng saw a green lance come hurtling toward her. With a gasp, she quickly moved aside, barely avoiding the powerful attack. She regained her footing on the instant, turned to dart toward the Espada, but he was then behind her, striking her across the back with enough force to snap a lesser Shinigami in two. Suí-Fēng was again thrown through the air, but she managed to catch herself this time, stopping her momentum quickly. Focusing everything within her into a single flash-step, she darted back toward the Espada who again stood still, watching her.

It was less than the blink of an eye before she was upon him, but she didn't strike. Rather, she feinted a blow and then pivoted again, spinning to the right and striking in earnest at his exposed neck, but she found an iron grip awaiting her. Her eyes widened as she saw that her hand was caught. How had he reacted so quickly?

Deadly, poisonous, green eyes turned to look at her, and Suí-Fēng felt a chill run down her spine. With excruciating firmness, his hand closed further, crushing her wrist. Suí-Fēng hissed, trying to draw back from him and refusing to scream. He didn't let go.

" _Hado Raik_ ──" cried Suí-Fēng, raising her left hand to point at him. Before she could finish the incantation, however, his formerly free hand again took hold of her throat, crushing through her windpipe. She tried to gasp, still refusing to show the horror that she felt.

"I have been lenient with you thus far," the deep, dead voice spoke. "There is nothing to stop me from killing you here and now."

Suí-Fēng struggled against his grip, but she quickly felt dizziness begin to overtake her senses. If she wasn't able to escape his grip quickly, she truly would die. But how was she to get away?

Just as the darkness began to take her sight, the Espada again threw her sharply into the ground.

Suí-Fēng gasped, pressing her left hand to her throat. Her right hand was completely crushed, and she knew that she could no longer defend herself. Not rising, she turned to face her opponent, preferring to look death in the eye than to receive it in the back.

Moving slowly and calmly now, the Espada lifted his right hand to point at her. A black, glowing orb formed at his outstretched fingertip, and Suí-Fēng again felt fear grip her. The power of the cero he was charging was beyond any that she had ever witnessed, and she knew that she did not have the strength to get out of the way quickly enough.

"If you leave and swear never to face me again," came the cold voice as the cero swirled before her eyes, "then I will allow you to live. If not..."

Suí-Fēng grit her teeth. She knew that her next words might be her last, but she didn't care. With all of the breath in her, she snarled at him:

"Go to hell!"

His hardened expression didn't change. His cold eyes didn't flinch. Suí-Fēng braced herself for the final strike.

Just then, a flash of black and orange crossed her vision, and another Shinigami appeared in front of her, Zanpakutō at the ready.

"Matsumoto!" she snapped. "Get out of here! He's too strong for you!"

"I won't stand by and watch you die, Suí-Fēng-Taichō," replied the ginger-haired woman. "If necessary, I'll die fighting beside you."

"Idiot," grumbled Suí-Fēng.

To her surprise, however, she saw the black cero fade and the Espada's hand lower to his side as he regarded the newcomer.

"You could not hope to defeat me," he said calmly, looking now at Rangiku. "You could not so much as touch me. Why would you insert yourself into this fight, knowing that you stand no chance?"

Rangiku laughed. "I guess I'm just crazy," she grinned. "Growl, _Haineko_!"

Rangiku's Zanpakutō dissolved into ash and flew forward to surround the Espada. For his part, the Hollow still didn't move. The ash swirled around him, and Rangiku whipped back the hilt of her Zanpakutō suddenly, the ash flying back to her. She then stared in amazement as the Espada continued to stand, wholly undamaged.

The Zanpakutō reformed itself in her shaking hands, and Rangiku braced herself, trying to hide her own fear.

"Pathetic," the Espada said simply.

"Matsumoto," hissed Suí-Fēng. "Leave now!"

"No, Taichō," replied Rangiku, gripping her Zanpakutō, her eyes never leaving the enemy before her. "I'm not leaving!"

The Espada again lifted his hand, but this time he held it out to one side. An eerie glow surrounded him for but a moment, and then his wings dissolved into reishi as his body resumed its former appearance. A long, green-hilted Zanpakutō formed in his hand. Without a word, he returned the blade to its scabbard. Placing his hands in his pockets then, he turned to leave.

"Wait," exclaimed Suí-Fēng. "Where do you think you're going? Are _you_ running away?"

The Hollow paused. Glancing back at them, he replied calmly, "I have no reason to kill you. You have been defeated, and you know that you live only by my mercy."

Suí-Fēng hissed angrily but didn't answer.

"Consider yourself fortunate," continued the Espada, "that I do not see you as a threat. If I did, I would be tempted to finish this."

With that, he turned again and disappeared into the woods.

Rangiku let out a long breath, leaning forward and resting her hands on her knees. Suí-Fēng merely pulled herself up to a sitting position, gripping her crushed right arm and trying to decide how many broken ribs she had.

"Ulquiorra!" came a sudden cry as a young, human girl burst into the recently formed clearing. She pulled up quickly, gasping for breath and looking about herself in confusion. "W-w-where is he? What happened?"

Suí-Fēng frowned darkly, recognizing the young friend of Kurosaki Ichigo: the girl taken by Aizen for the sole purpose of splitting the Gotei 13's forces at the time of the most crucial battle of the Winter War.

"Orihime," said Rangiku, replacing her own Zanpakutō and stepping forward. "There's no need for you to be here."

"Rangiku, where is he?" Orihime demanded, clearly frightened. "Please! I know that I felt him here. What happened to him?!"

"If you mean the Espada," growled Suí-Fēng, rising painfully to her feet, "then I have to ask: why are you so concerned for him?"

Orihime gasped, seeing her injuries. "Oh!" she exclaimed. "What happened? Here, please sit down, and let me heal you."

"Keep your distance, girl, and answer my question!" snapped Suí-Fēng.

"Taichō," chided Rangiku. "Orihime is a master of healing, you know. Please let her heal you."

"I've no need of help from traitors!" retorted Suí-Fēng. Turning again to the surprised human girl, she again demanded, "Why are you concerned for the Espada? Have you joined forces with him?"

Orihime swallowed uncomfortably. "Please," she stammered. "He's not evil now. He wants to stay here and live like a human."

"He's an Arrancar!"

"I know, but he's not bad now!" exclaimed Orihime. "Please, you have to believe me. He won't hurt anyone. He's nice. Really, he is!" Looking around herself, she asked again, "Where is he? He was here, wasn't he?"

"He left," replied Rangiku. She sighed. "Orihime, do you know what he's doing here?"

"He just wants to live a normal life," insisted Orihime. "He doesn't want to hurt anyone."

Suí-Fēng scoffed. "Ridiculous! A Hollow 'live' a normal life? He's not even alive! And as to not doing any harm, what would you call all of this?"

She motioned to the destruction all around them. Orihime looked around herself cautiously and then licked her lips.

"W-w-what happened?" she squeaked.

"This is the least that you can expect to happen with an Espada here," hissed Suí-Fēng. "If he is allowed to stay, then he will destroy this entire city and everyone in it! I can assure you: far worse than this will happen to everyone you know if he is not removed quickly. Remember, girl; your precious substitute-Shinigami is powerless. Soul Society is the only thing that can stop this threat from destroying everything you hold dear."

"Ulquiorra isn't a threat!" exclaimed Orihime. "He's not going to destroy anything! Please believe me!"

Suí-Fēng merely shook her head. "Just what did he do to you while he had you in Hueco Mundo?" she muttered, speaking more to herself than to the girl before her.

Orihime blinked at her in shock. She opened her mouth, but no words came.

"Come, Matsumoto," said Suí-Fēng. "Let's go."

Rangiku smiled sadly at Orihime and stepped forward to give her little friend a hug.

"Please take care of yourself, Orihime," she whispered into her ear. "Don't let this Hollow use you again."

"Rangiku," whimpered Orihime, so shocked at what they were implying that she couldn't even gather her thoughts enough to respond.

Rangiku, however, just smiled at her again before turning and leaving with the still-wounded Second Captain.

* * *

 **A/N: Estimating strength/speed levels in Bleach is like calculating power levels in DBZ. Generally, it can't be done. For this fight, I considered the following: Bankai-Ichigo was able to take Shikai-Byakuya, who I assume would be able to take Shikai-Suí-F** **ē** **ng. Hollified-Bankai-Ichigo was insanely stronger than regular Bankai-Ichigo, and yet he couldn't even scratch non-released-form-Ulquiorra. All the Shinigami had fought and strengthened themselves significantly, but Ichigo likewise skyrocketed in power after his fights with Grimmjow and Nnoitra. Even so, with that massive boost, his Hollified-Bankai still couldn't even follow the movements (at first) of Ulquiorra's first release. Hence, in my opinion, Shikai-Suí-F** **ē** **ng wouldn't be able to touch him in that form either. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and had her able to follow some of his movements, although in actuality she would probably have to be in a Bankai state for that. Her Bankai, however, would be useless against Ulquiorra. Her Shikai would be good for a surprise attack, but she'd be useless against him alone in a sustained battle. Feel free to comment/PM if you have a differing opinion.**


	14. A Temporary Solution

_**Chapter 14**_

 **A Temporary Solution**

* * *

Back at the apartment, Orihime entered quietly. She could see Ulquiorra standing there, hands in his pockets, staring silently at nothing. Licking her lips, she stepped forward.

"Ulquiorra?" she asked quietly. "Are you alright?"

His eyes closed, but he didn't move otherwise.

"Soul Society has made their move," he answered. "They have determined that I am a threat and must be eliminated."

Orihime gasped. "But we can talk to them," she protested. "Kurosaki-kun can tell them that he was the one──"

"Kurosaki Ichigo can no longer communicate with them," interrupted Ulquiorra. "He can neither see nor hear them. He is, at this time, useless."

Orihime bit her lip. "He said that you gave him some of your reiatsu before," she said, "so that he could see you. Couldn't you do it again? He'd be able to see them then, wouldn't he?"

Ulquiorra turned his head to look at her directly. "Do you imagine that Soul Society would listen to his pleas for my safety, if he was speaking through my own reiatsu?" he demanded. "They would view me as even more of a threat than they already do."

Orihime lowered her eyes. He was right. She remembered what Suí-Fēng-taichō and Rangiku-san had said earlier: that Ulquiorra was "using" her again. Surely, if he did lend some of his reiatsu to Kurosaki-kun for the purpose of having him speak to Soul Society on behalf of himself, the Shinigami would just think that Ulquiorra was controlling Kurosaki-kun too. He was right.

"Ishida-kun..." began Orihime hesitantly.

"...is a Quincy," finished Ulquiorra. "Despite the fact that he fought on your side during the War, I do not believe that Soul Society would be willing to trust him either, particularly if he was defending a Hollow."

"Well ... what about Urahara-san?" asked Orihime. "Couldn't he do something?"

"Urahara Kisuke was branded a traitor for his part in creating the Vizards ─ the Shinigami counterpart of the Arrancar. Even if he was willing to speak on my behalf, I do not believe that Soul Society would hear it, coming from him."

"Ulquiorra," she tried again, stepping forward with a firm expression. " _I_ would speak for you. I'd tell them that──"

"You were my prisoner," interrupted Ulquiorra, turning his head away again. "I took you from your friends and held you captive. If you spoke for me now, then they would simply believe that I had altered your mind while you were in Hueco Mundo."

Orihime chewed her lip again, knowing that he was right, but not wanting to give up yet. She didn't mention what her Shinigami friends had already implied: that she was already acting under his influence. He didn't need to hear that. Still, she knew that he was right: Soul Society didn't trust him. They wouldn't trust him. And they wouldn't trust anyone who tried to defend him.

"Ulquiorra?" she asked at last. "Have you ... have you thought about ... what we can do?"

Orihime thought that she heard him sigh softly as his eyes drifted closed.

"I have tried," he answered. "But I have no solution at this time. For now, I have merely a way of delaying them. I can only hope that, in time, a solution can be found."

"Delaying them? How?"

"I will go to Urahara Kisuke tomorrow and ask whether he can create a gigai that fully masks the wearer's reiatsu. Right now, although I can prevent most from sensing me who are not nearby, I cannot keep myself completely hidden. With a means of remaining spiritually invisible, I should have time and freedom to decide what can be done long-term. It is the only viable option for now."

Orihime sighed and smiled. That was a _lot_ better than what she had feared he might say. Not that she really thought that he would "run away" from Soul Society, but she had been certainly afraid that he would decide to go back to Hueco Mundo for a while. She was quite happy that that wasn't on his mind. She decided to be very careful not to suggest it herself.

"That won't be so bad," she replied cheerily. "Then everything will stay the same as it has been, right?"

"It will not." Ulquiorra turned to look at her again, his eyes hardening considerably. "Such a device will likely limit my own powers. I will be more vulnerable. I will, therefore, need to be more careful than I have been. Likewise I will not be able to discard it as I would the previous one; I will be forced to wear it constantly. Also, it will not do if it looks like me; it must have a very different appearance which I must likewise endure." He lowered his eyes, and Orihime could read that he wasn't happy. "I will not like it. And I do not know how long I will be forced to wear it."

Orihime's face fell again. Of course it would be hard for him. She hadn't thought of that. All she had thought was that he would still be here with her. That was all that mattered, wasn't it? Maybe to her, but clearly not to him. Yes, it was the most important thing to him, apparently, seeing that he was willing to make this sacrifice, but it wasn't what he wanted. She realized that he probably _had_ thought about going back to Hueco Mundo and had decided not to do it, seeing that it would mean that they would be separated. She knew how much it had meant to him to have a gigai that looked like himself, and she also knew how much he disliked wearing even that for the few hours each day that he was required to do so. Now, to have to wear something that didn't look like himself and that would make him weaker and to have to wear it always and never take it off... Orihime realized that this was going to be very real sacrifice on his part. Still, he was plainly willing to do it in order to stay with her.

She smiled at him. "Thank you, Ulquiorra-kun," she murmured. "I'm sorry that it won't be comfortable, but thank you."

"I do not know why you are thanking me," he answered, not looking at her now. "I am only causing you trouble by being here. Your thanks are misplaced."

"Thank you anyway," grinned Orihime, earning her a slightly confused look from her Hollow roommate. "Thank you for staying with me."

Ulquiorra just looked at her for a time before lowering his eyes again.

"I had said that I would take you flying again tomorrow night," he said. "But now, I will not be able to do so. It is likely that I will not be able to do so for quite some time."

"It doesn't matter," smiled Orihime, shaking her head. She reached forward to take his hand in hers. "As long as we're together, we can touch the stars from right here on the ground."

Again Ulquiorra looked at her in mild confusion, but he said nothing.

* * *

School the next day was torture for Orihime. Ulquiorra wasn't there, of course, and her friends who knew him wanted to know why. When, at lunch, Orihime managed to meet with Kurosaki-kun, Ishida-kun, and Sado-kun without their other friends, Orihime explained to them that Ulquiorra wasn't here today because his gigai had been destroyed when he fought with Suí-Fēng-taichō last night, but that he himself was still alive because he did win the fight, but that he hadn't killed Suí-Fēng-taichō because he really didn't want to fight with Soul Society, because he wanted to stay here in the Land of the Living now and not go back to Hueco Mundo, because he ... because she ... because the two of them ...

That was as far as she got. Her stuttering and blushing had started to inform Ishida-kun of the truth, though the poor Quincy didn't look like he wanted to believe it. Fortunately for Orihime, her former hero jumped in to again save the day ─ metaphorically speaking ─ explaining everything that he and Ulquiorra had discussed (leaving out the fact that Ulquiorra had seemed to think that he and Orihime must be married now). When Ishida and Chad saw how sure Ichigo was that Ulquiorra would do no harm here and had only the best intentions, they too were placated. Although he didn't say as much, Ishida found himself reluctantly pleased. He had, by now, accepted that Orihime was safe with the Arrancar and that the latter had no ill-intentions here. The thought of someone so powerful whom he trusted (however ironically) staying with Orihime was comforting. Chad said little, but his smile and his few words made it clear that he was happy for Orihime. Ichigo was quick to inform Orihime that even if he had lost his Shinigami powers, if Ulquiorra ever hurt her, he would find _some_ way to beat the Espada within an inch of his life. Orihime just giggled, assuring him that he wouldn't ever need to do that.

Explaining what was to happen now was a little more painful. Orihime sadly told them: Soul Society wanted him dead. It wasn't surprising to any of them, of course, but it was upsetting, now that Ulquiorra had a good reason to stay. Ishida sympathized with the Arrancar's predicament, but he didn't have a good answer, other than supporting Ulquiorra's temporary solution. Kurosaki was, of course, immediately and very vocally upset with Soul Society's handling of the situation and threatened to go knock some heads together, but his friends calmed him, convincing him that he wouldn't be able to "save the day" this time. Chad quietly offered his own assistance as possibly the only one that Soul Society might hear objectively, but all knew that it would have been a very difficult task for the shy teen. Orihime just smiled, thanked him, and said that she knew that Ulquiorra would come up with a plan.

In the end, even though they couldn't help her this time, just knowing that they all wanted to help was a great relief to Orihime. She knew that they'd be there for her and Ulquiorra, whatever happened.

Throughout the afternoon, Orihime kept thinking of Ulquiorra, wondering how she could help him to feel better about the whole thing. She quickly decided that just like how he had come up with a temporary solution for now, so it would be easiest if she came up with something temporary to make him happier. After all, he was already upset about having to wear a gigai that didn't look like himself; how could she make it better?

Supper! Of course, he didn't usually like her cooking, but she knew just the thing! She'd surprise him with a meal like what she had had in Hueco Mundo. She remembered him saying that her cooking was very different from theirs and that that could be why he didn't like her cooking, so didn't that mean that he _did_ like the cooking in Hueco Mundo? Well, he hadn't said that exactly, but it would make sense that that's what he had meant, right? Yes. Orihime was determined. She'd stop by the market on her way home from school and get whatever she could to make a meal as close to the horribly bland and boring foods she'd eaten in Hueco Mundo. If that didn't make him happy, she didn't know what would. After all, good food was always a way to make a man happy, right?

* * *

When Orihime finally arrived home that afternoon, she rushed into the apartment, hoping to be able to start and possibly finish dinner before Ulquiorra got back from the Urahara Shoten. Quickly she kicked off her shoes and darted into the living room, only to stop short with a little shriek of surprise.

In the middle of the room, a young man stood, looking to be about her age. He had been standing with his back to the door, but he turned, hearing her enter. He was a bit taller than she was with tanned skin, a somewhat muscular build, dark brown hair, and fair blue eyes. Orihime's first response was one of panic at seeing a stranger standing in the middle of her living room, but something about him made her hesitate. As he stood there, not moving or speaking, she realized what it was: she couldn't sense him. There was no spiritual presence about him at all, neither human nor Hollow nor Shinigami. It was like he wasn't really there, even though she could see him.

"Um ... Ulquiorra?" she asked hesitantly.

The rather stiff posture didn't change. The hardened expression didn't flinch. The hands didn't move from their hiding place in the young man's pockets. The only change was the slightest tensing of the jaw, almost unnoticeable by Orihime's still-shocked mind. She blinked, stepped a little closer, and just stared him.

"Is ... is that you?" she asked.

From the expression (or lack thereof), the stance, and indeed everything but the actual body, Orihime felt fairly sure that it was him. After all, the purpose of the new gigai was to suppress his whole presence, right? And whoever this was had no spiritual presence at all! Yes, it had to be him.

Again, she looked him over, actually taking in his full appearance now. He was certainly what most girls would call attractive. He was slightly taller than Ulquiorra was normally. His thick brown hair had a natural wind-blown look with a few lighter highlights, giving him a somewhat roguish appearance. His deep, watery blue eyes were soft, no matter how stiff the expression around them might be. His facial features were a bit rugged but certainly pleasant to the eye. His well-formed physique was muscular in all the right places with his chest being slightly visible beneath his open-necked shirt. The thought suddenly came to Orihime that if he were to walk into an Espada meeting like this, even Grimmjow would be jealous of his looks.

"I ... um..." Orihime stuttered, trying to suppress a smile.

Finally, when he still didn't move, still didn't speak, Orihime burst into peals of laughter. At that, he did frown. It wasn't much: just a drawing together of the well-shaped brown eyebrows and a slight tightening of the sensuous lips, but it was enough to cause Orihime's hilarity to grow, if that was possible. She sank to the floor, holding her stomach, as she continued to laugh. She tried to stop, or at least tried to calm down, but she simply couldn't do it. The sight was just too funny!

At last, emitting a light sigh, the young man turned away and strode toward the little kitchen.

"Wait!" Orihime gasped, still laughing. "I'm sorry! I ... I can't help it!"

"I can see that," returned a deep voice as he didn't even pause before disappearing into the next room.

Orihime continued to try to control herself. It certainly wasn't easy. She simply couldn't stop the convulsions of merriment that overcame her. It was just too hysterical. He looked like a human teenager who had just come from the gym or the tanning salon or both. She could easily imagine him as a cowboy, fresh off the range, or an athlete who had just come from a competition.

Orihime knew that she'd upset him; she knew that he wasn't happy. After all, he had been standing there, apparently waiting for her reaction, and she had laughed at him. She wanted to go and apologize, but she still just couldn't stop laughing. At least Soul Society would never suspect that _he_ was an Arrancar in disguise.

It was a few more minutes before, gasping for breath, Orihime finally regained control of herself. Ulquiorra still hadn't reemerged. Rising to her feet at last, Orihime took another deep breath and walked resolutely into the little kitchen.

Ulquiorra stood in one corner of the room, his back to the wall and his eyes on the floor. He didn't look up as she entered.

"I'm sorry, Ulquiorra," said Orihime meekly. "I ... I didn't mean to laugh at you like that."

He didn't respond.

"You do look very handsome," she grinned. "It's a good look for you."

Ulquiorra lifted his face to glare at her.

Still smiling but being careful not to laugh, Orihime continued, "I like how Urahara-san made your hair. And your new eyes are still nice too. They look like the sky in the morning, when──"

"Do you prefer this look?" asked Ulquiorra roughly.

Orihime blinked in surprise. "No!" she exclaimed. "No, that's not what I meant at all! I just ... I ... wanted you to ... feel better."

"By telling me that I look better as a human?"

"That's not what I said!" exclaimed Orihime, waving her hands frantically. "I... I..."

Ulquiorra turned his glare to the wall, and he said nothing more. Orihime just bit her lip, thoroughly uncomfortable now. Remembering her plan from earlier, she turned to the stove, trying to smile again.

"I guess I should start dinner," she said, hoping to lighten the mood. "Are you hungry?"

"Do you think that because I now look like a human I have the needs of one?" snapped Ulquiorra. "I don't eat, woman."

At that, Orihime felt tears forming in her eyes. She didn't move, but she felt completely crushed by his words and tone. The fact that he was intentionally avoiding using her name showed that he was angry with her. She hadn't meant to upset him, and she had said that she was sorry for laughing at him. Why did he have to be like this? All of her plans for tonight came crashing down around her. Of course she couldn't make him happy with food; what had she been thinking? He didn't even need to eat.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, blinking back her tears. "I didn't..." She swallowed and wiped her eyes, sniffing once. "I'll just make supper for me."

 _How could I be so stupid?_ she thought. _I wanted to make him feel better, and I only made him feel worse. Stupid, stupid Orihime!_

Orihime tried to put away the few groceries she had bought for the plain meal that she had planned for tonight. After all, she wouldn't need them now. She sniffed, trying hard to focus on what she was doing, but her sight continued to grow blurry with the tears that she tried so very hard to hide. Wiping them away, she finally managed to get everything put away. Then, as she again stifled a sob, Orihime felt a soft touch on her arm. Turning, she found herself face to face with the new form in which Ulquiorra now dwelt. He drew her to himself without a word, wrapping his arms around her and pressing her head to his chest. Orihime gripped his shirt and let her tears burst forth like a flood.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I'm very sorry, Ulquiorra. I didn't mean to laugh at you. And ... and ... and I _don't_ think that you look better like this. You look much, much better as you really are with your beautiful green eyes and your black hair, and ... and I just want you to be happy!"

Ulquiorra said nothing. He merely stood silently, holding her gently against himself. Orihime cried for a little longer before finally managing to reduce her tears to an occasional sniffle. She then felt his grip loosen, as if inviting her to step back, but she didn't do so. She snuggled further into his chest, smiling just a little now.

"Are you not angry with me?" she asked.

"I am not," came his gentle reply.

"I'm glad." She wrapped her own arms around his now thick waist, still smiling. She waited and then, when he didn't say anything else, she continued, "Do you think that this new body is really that bad?"

"I detest it," he answered tonelessly. "It is loathsome."

Orihime again smiled brightly, carefully hiding her face in his chest first so that he couldn't see. "I'm sorry," she murmured. "But at least it won't be for too long."

Ulquiorra stiffened. Orihime's smile faded as she felt that. Carefully she drew back, looking up at him.

"What's wrong, Ulquiorra?" she asked.

He gazed down at her expressionlessly. "I have yet to reach a solution to the problem with Soul Society," he answered. "I am no closer than I was before. Indeed, I begin to fear that there is no solution to be found. If I cannot find one, then I may be trapped in this hideous human form indefinitely." His hands were still on her, but she felt his fingers twitch as if he wanted to clench his fists. "The thought that I may have to remain like this for years is ... is..."

"You'll think of something," smiled Orihime encouragingly. "I know you will! You're smarter than anyone I know, except for maybe Urahara-san."

Ulquiorra sighed quietly. "The Shinigami will not trust me," he said. "I had thought that perhaps if I was here for a considerable time, doing no damage, then they would see that I am no threat. But the only way to stay here without them attacking me is to remain as I am now: invisible to them. However, staying here like this means that no matter how long I remain, they will not know that I was here for that time. If I take my own form again, it will be again as if I have just arrived, and they will again attack me, not knowing that I have been here as long as I would then have been. If I stay, then they will not know; and if they know, then I cannot stay. It is, therefore, not possible to demonstrate that I mean no harm here without their allowing me to do so. In other words, I cannot earn their trust without them giving it to me first. Hence, I begin to think that there is no solution to be found."

Orihime blinked at him, not fully following all that he had said but understanding that he didn't seem to think that there was any answer to the problem in front of them right now. Still, even if she didn't have an answer herself, she was nevertheless certain that they'd come up with one somehow.

"It'll be alright, Ulquiorra," she assured him, trying to smile again. "Don't worry. It'll work out somehow. I know it will!"

She half-way expected him to sigh and to call her a foolish woman, but he didn't. He just stared at her. Finally, he lifted a hand to touch her face tentatively. It wasn't a caress; it was more of a curious investigation as his fingertips moved lightly over her cheek and temple and his thumb brushed the skin below her eye.

"You have the same look," he said quietly, "as you did when Kurosaki Ichigo came to take you from Hueco Mundo."

Orihime blinked in surprise.

"I thought you were a fool," he continued. "You believed in things which made no sense. Your trust was unfounded and illogical, and yet you were right in the end."

Orihime again found herself blinking back tears as his fingers remained, gently touching her face. Still staring at her unblinkingly, Ulquiorra spoke again.

"I find myself willing to believe you," he said slowly, "although it seems foolish to do so. If you say that it will be alright, Inoue Orihime, then I feel that it will be so, although I cannot see how at this time."

Smiling once more, Orihime again wrapped her arms around him, pressing her face to his chest.

"I know that it will," she breathed. "I just know it."

* * *

 _I awoke and opened my eyes. I knew not who I was nor why I was here, but neither did I care. As I rose, I saw the pure white armor which encased my body reflecting the light of the sickly moon which hung far, far above the black pit in which I had been lying. My eyes then moved to my surroundings, and I saw others. Black against the blackness; their forms were not easily distinguished, but my eyes could see them. Their eyes almost glowed. They were eating something. Blood dripped from their gaping maws. I watched as the eyes turned to me, taking in the appearance of one different from themselves. One of them opened his mouth wide and then closed it again. If he had made any sound, I did not hear it. I rose to my feet, the glowing whiteness that was my body attracting the attention of all that had not yet noticed me._

 _I was different._

 _Why they decided to attack was irrelevant. Was it because I was different? Was it because they viewed me as a threat? Was it because the meal that they were sharing was insufficient for their number? I did not know. I did not care. With gleaming claws and gnashing teeth they swarmed over me, and I killed them all. I could not even feel their blows against my armor. I could not smell the sweat that poured from their struggling forms. I could not hear their screams as they lay dying all around me. I could not taste the blood that spurted from them beneath my claws. I could not hear; could not feel; could not taste; could not smell. I could see. In silence and emptiness, I could do nothing but see._

 _I saw as they fell to the ground, now as lifeless and motionless as the corpse that they had been eating. I left them to be eaten likewise by whatever other might come. I left._

 _Having no purpose and no destination, I walked. Across the endless white sands I walked. Onward and onward and onward; never rushing; never pausing ... never caring._

 _There was nothing in me. All that was around me filled my vision, but there was no meaning in anything that I saw. There had been no meaning in those whom I had killed. There was no meaning in the vast, white desert around me, in the Hollows that fled from me, in the pale moon that illuminated my way, in the black sky that held the moon, or in my own hard, white form._

 _I walked._

 _And walked._

 _And walked._

 _And then I saw it. My eyes beheld with wonder the object before me: this mighty, encompassing formation that seemed to transcend the finite boundaries of my own existence and that of everything around me._

 _It was white, as I was. It existed, as I did, neither hearing nor feeling, neither tasting nor smelling. It simply was. Silent and immovable, yet sharp and deadly. I pushed forward into it, determined to surround myself with its perfect emptiness._

 _It was beautiful._

 _I fell forward into its wonderful embrace. One of its sharp points caught at my mask and broke a piece of it, but I paid no heed. I lay there, eyes closed, enveloped in nothing; in emptiness._

 _Happiness. ...I was happy._

 _There is nothing in me; there is nothing in you. That which my eye sees is meaningless; that which my eye cannot see ... does not exist._

 _There is nothing. And in nothing, there is happiness._

* * *

Ulquiorra opened his eyes. He lifted himself silently to sit on his futon, staring into the darkness. It was not the first time that he had dreamed of his birth as a Vasto Lorde. It was always a little overwhelming when he awoke from such a dream, realizing that he now had so many senses that he had not had then and that life was so much more complicated than it had been then. At this time, he was glad that it was still night. All around him was silent. He could feel the human clothes and sheets against the skin of his gigai; he could smell the now familiar scents of the woman's apartment; but all was still and silent. He closed his eyes, bringing himself gradually back to the present.

No. It was not silent. Ulquiorra turned his head, hearing a faint sound from the bedroom.

Rising to his feet, he moved to the doorway separating the two rooms and listened. The door was slightly ajar, and Ulquiorra could now hear the soft whimpering coming from within the room. Gently he pushed the door open.

Orihime lay on her bed, curled up in a little ball as her shoulders shook. Without a word, Ulquiorra walked to her and laid a hand gently on her shoulder. Immediately, she turned and looked up at him. She pulled herself up to sit on her bed, her legs still covered by the blankets, and stretched out her arms to draw him to herself. Her eyes were filled with tears and her lips trembled as she looked at him.

Still saying nothing, Ulquiorra sat on the bed next to her and gathered her into his arms, pressing her head to his shoulder as she cried. He then waited patiently. His hand moved gently through her hair, soothing her, and soon enough she calmed, swallowed, sniffed, and tried to speak.

"S-s-sorry, Ulquiorra," she gulped. "I hope I didn't wake you."

"You did not," he replied.

Orihime sniffed again. "I ... I had a bad dream."

"So I assumed."

He heard a small sound that could have been a sniffle or a chuckle. Why she would be amused, he didn't know, but neither would he question.

"I dreamt..." began Orihime. Her grip on him then tightened as she continued. "I dreamt about when Kurosaki-kun ... when he ... when he k-k-killed you."

Ulquiorra waited patiently, but she didn't say anything more for a time.

"I'm sorry!" she whimpered at last. "I'm so sorry!"

"Orihime," he answered, "we have discussed this. There is no reason for you to be sorry."

"But it was my fault!"

"It doesn't matter."

Orihime continued to whimper, her tears dampening the tanned shoulder and chest of his gigai.

"I'm still sorry," she whispered.

This time, he didn't answer. He continued to stroke her hair gently with one hand, holding her against himself with the other, waiting for her to calm herself. In time, she did. Again, she sniffed and was quiet. He waited a little longer, then, just as he was about to draw back from her, she spoke again.

"What sort of things do you dream about, Ulquiorra?" she asked.

Ulquiorra was quiet for a moment. He closed his eyes and took note of the soft feel of her body beneath his hands; he smelt the sweet scent of her hair; he listened to her gentle breathing and the faint stir of her heartbeat.

"Nothing," he replied at last. "I dream about nothing."

Orihime smiled. "That must be nice."

"No." His grip tightened almost imperceptibly. "Not anymore."

* * *

 **A/N: In case anyone didn't get it, he's not lying to her. He is essentially describing his dreams with one word: "nothing." Also, if you haven't read "Unmasked" (the official canon story of Ulquiorra's past), you should.**


	15. The Trap

_**Chapter 15**_

 **The Trap**

* * *

"Hitsugaya-taichō," rattled the deep voice of the Captain Commander. "How certain are you that this plan will succeed?"

"The Second Captain's battle made it clear that we should not expect an easy victory against the Espada in a face-to-face confrontation," replied Tōshirō, "but that we may be able to catch him by surprise. With Hachi-san's assistance, I believe that we can gain the advantage. If we are successful, the battle will be won with little damage or injury, and perhaps none at all."

"Hmm," considered Yamamoto. "Be wary of over-confidence, young Captain."

"Always, Yamamoto-taichō," replied Tōshirō with a low bow.

Turning to the kidō warrior present, Yamamoto asked, "And you, Hachi-san. Do you believe that this will succeed?"

"It will depend on whether we can catch him unawares as Suí-Fēng-taichō did," replied the other meekly. "If we are able to do so, then I believe that we are assured of success. If not, then it will depend on the tenth captain's skill. We will do our best either way."

The Captain Commander closed his eyes and remained silent for a time.

"Very well," he said at last. "You may take the warriors required and go."

"Thank you, Yamamoto-taichō," bowed Tōshirō. "We will not fail."

"So too said Suí-Fēng-taichō," retorted Yamamoto.

Tōshirō swallowed uncomfortably. "Yes, sir," was his only reply before he and Hachi turned and left the First Captain's chambers.

"What warriors do you need?" asked Tōshirō as they stepped into the afternoon sun again.

"I have three who are well-trained and will be able to compliment me perfectly," smiled the pink-haired Shinigami. "Together, we should be able to weave the kidō in but a few seconds and to hold it for as long as is necessary."

"Good," nodded Tōshirō. "Fetch them and instruct them to prepare for immediate travel to Karakura town. As soon as we locate the Espada, we will move."

"Perhaps he has indeed decided to return to Hueco Mundo," suggested Hachi, tilting his head slightly in thought. "His reiatsu has not been sensed there since his fight with Suí-Fēng-taichō."

"He indicated both to myself and to the Second Captain that he had no intention of leaving," replied the Tenth Captain. "I'm sure that he is still there; he is simply in hiding for now."

"Hm," nodded Hachi. "Well then..."

A flash-step suddenly brought a ginger-haired woman before them, dropping to one knee respectfully.

"Taichō," exclaimed Rangiku.

"Well, Matsamoto?" asked Tōshirō.

Rangiku lifted her eyes to look at her captain seriously.

"I have found him, Taichō."

* * *

Nighttime found Orihime tossing and turning on her soft mattress. She just couldn't seem to get comfortable. It wasn't as though anything was exactly wrong, but she still couldn't convince herself that everything was alright. She tried to calm herself and to tell herself that everything was fine; she was fine; Ulquiorra was fine. He was asleep in the living room, just as she _should_ be asleep in her room. But no matter how many times she told herself this, she found her mind again and again succumbing to the horrible human weakness of the fear of the dark: the fear that because she couldn't _see_ that everything was alright that somehow it wasn't. It didn't matter that it didn't make sense; it didn't matter that she knew otherwise. The dark could drive the calmest and sanest mind into paranoia if allowed to do so, and Orihime would never have called herself the calmest or sanest person she knew.

Finally she couldn't take it anymore. She threw back the covers, rose from her bed, and padded softly into the living room.

"Ulquiorra," she whispered quietly.

"Yes?" came his deep, melodious voice.

Orihime bit her lip. Her eyes were well adjusted to the darkness, and she could see as his face turned to look at her. She swallowed.

"What is it?" he asked, seeing that she didn't speak.

"I..." Orihime bit her lip again. "I just ... can't sense you."

"That is the purpose of this gigai," he replied.

"I know," mumbled Orihime quietly. "But ... I don't like it."

"Nor do I, but we have no choice."

Orihime lowered her eyes, twisting her hands nervously. "I just..." She licked her lips and looked at him nervously. "I don't like it ... that I can't even feel whether you're still here or not."

Ulquiorra looked at her for a moment without speaking. Then, still silently, he rose to a sitting position and extended a hand to her. Orihime blinked and stepped forward to accept it. Gently he drew her to himself, pulling her down to sit beside him, and then, taking her in his arms, laid her next to him. Orihime blushed as he drew the coverlet over the both of them.

"Ulquiorra?" she squeaked nervously.

Ulquiorra gently wrapped his arm around her waist, settling himself as if to go back to sleep. "Now you can feel that I am still here," he said softly.

Orihime blinked. She looked back at him and smiled. Leaning her head against his chest, she sighed and closed her eyes contentedly.

"Thank you," she murmured.

* * *

"Matsamoto," sighed Tōshirō wearily. "There is no one in the apartment other than Inoue Orihime."

"Taichō, if you actually look inside yourself, you'll see," replied Rangiku, pointing to the open window in the apartment across the street from the rooftop where they stood. "Orihime is there, but she's in bed with a boy."

Tōshirō blushed slightly. "And you were spying on them?" he demanded.

"It's not a human boy!" exclaimed Rangiku. "Whoever it is has no reiatsu at all!"

"There are some humans with very, very weak reiatsu," suggested Hachi. "Orihime-chan may have ... grown close to such a one."

"You can see for yourself," argued Rangiku. "Whoever it is has no spiritual presence at all. There's no way that a living human would have no reiatsu; all of them have at least enough to show that they're alive, and this boy has none!"

"A reiatsu-suppressing gigai," murmured Tōshirō.

"A perfect hiding-place, if it's true," admitted Hachi. "He could be right in front of our eyes, and yet we wouldn't notice him."

Again, Tōshirō frowned. "Can you be sure that it's the Hollow, Matsamoto? There can be no mistake. This trap would kill any human caught in it, and we can't take that chance."

"He's not human," shrugged Rangiku. "And he's not Shinigami. Whatever he is, he's wearing a gigai that completely conceals his reiatsu, _and_ he's lying in bed with Orihime. I can't imagine anyone else that it could be." Glancing at Hachi, she added with a wink, "After all, Hirako-taichō is still in Soul Society, isn't he?"

"Matsamoto!" snapped Tōshirō.

Rangiku shrugged and crossed her arms, saying nothing more. Hachi waited quietly, and Tōshirō again sighed. Finally, without another word, Tōshirō flash-stepped away. The other two waited only briefly before he returned.

"Alright," he growled. "I'm willing to admit that it is most likely the Arrancar in disguise. The only other possibility is a life-sized doll, and I do not think that Orihime would have something like that."

"Ooh!" exclaimed Rangiku. "I wonder if I could get one of those! Would it be──"

"Matsamoto!" snapped Tōshirō again. Turning then to the kidō warrior, he continued, "The two are in bed together. Both appear to be asleep, so it is the perfect time to capture him. However, it will not be possible to remove Orihime without waking the Espada."

Hachi shook his head. "This spell is too powerful to risk binding Orihime-chan," he said. "We need to catch the Arrancar alone."

"How long could she bear it?" asked Tōshirō.

"Hitsugaya-taichō," exclaimed Hachi, wide-eyed. "It would kill her."

"But not immediately. I'm asking how quickly?"

"Taichō!" gasped Rangiku. "You're not going to risk Orihime's life to capture a Hollow, are you?"

"How long, Hachi-san?" growled Tōshirō impatiently.

Hachi looked uncomfortable but replied, "Orihime-chan is strong, I know." He considered. "Perhaps ... five or six seconds."

"And how long would the Arrancar need to be bound before his reiatsu is such that his hierro will no longer be of use?"

Again, Hachi fidgeted slightly. "At least ... five seconds, Taichō."

Tōshirō gave a single nod. "It will be close, but──"

"Taichō!" exclaimed Rangiku again. "You can't really plan to do this!"

"Hachi-san," continued Tōshirō, still ignoring his lieutenant. "I will wait exactly five seconds before striking down the Hollow. However, if anything goes wrong, you will release the spell before Orihime can be fatally injured. Is that understood?"

"It will be hard to judge," grimaced Hachi. "As I said, Hitsugaya-taichō, she is strong, but..."

"I will trust your estimate," stated Tōshirō. "At five seconds, if Orihime is danger, release the kidō."

"Yes, Taichō," bowed Hachi reluctantly.

"Bring the other three," continued Tōshirō. "Explain to them what they are to do, and be sure that they understand that no sound must be made from the moment we enter the apartment until the Arrancar is bound. We cannot risk waking them. You and they will prepare the binding chains as silently as you are able."

"The chains should make contact with his skin to be most effective at draining his reiatsu," said Hachi. "Is he covered?"

"They're under a blanket," nodded Rangiku.

"That should be removed, if possible."

"Also, he's in a gigai; will that matter?"

"No," Hachi shook his head. "The binding of the gigai with the soul will enable perfect transfer of the draining power of the kidō chains. Cloth, however, will weaken the effect."

"Very well," nodded Tōshirō. "Matsamoto, as soon as the kidō is ready, you will remove the blanket covering them, such that the chains will make contact with his skin as soon as they fall. There must be no delay, however. The chains must fall the instant the blanket is removed. If there is even the slightest delay, he may escape."

"Taichō," mused Rangiku hesitantly, "suppose..."

"What is it, Matsamoto?" growled the little captain impatiently.

"Well, I know that more exposed skin is preferred, but ... exactly how _much_ skin? What if they're not dressed under that?"

Tōshirō again blushed slightly. "We can hope that that is not the case." Turning back to the pink-haired kidō warrior, he concluded, "Explain to your assistants, and meet us inside.

With that, he and Matsamoto flash-stepped off of the neighboring roof together.

* * *

The night was warm and quiet. No one who was not in the room would guess the tension that filled the small space of this human dwelling as six Shinigami warriors prepared to ambush a Hollow more powerful than any being currently in the Land of the Living. The four kidō warriors positioned themselves around the sleeping couple, a few paces back. The small Shinigami captain held his drawn Zanpakutō at the ready, preparing for any surprises. The red-haired lieutenant stood nearby, ready to do whatever was required.

In the midst of this small group lay the sleeping couple, wholly oblivious to the danger around them. Lying together in the middle of Orihime's living room floor, their soft breathing made up the only sound in the quiet night. Orihime lay almost on her back, leaning partway into the male's chest. Ulquiorra (as they assumed) lay on his side, one arm apparently wrapped around Orihime's waist under the blanket. Neither stirred as the silent kidō spell gradually took form in the air above them.

Soon enough, a barely glowing mesh of powerful chains hung suspended a few feet above the sleeping couple. Hachi nodded to Tōshirō. The young captain took a breath, gripping the hilt of his Zanpakutō in preparation. He then turned to nod to Rangiku. Just before he did so, the lieutenant reached forward and snatched the blanket away, inadvertently moving too soon.

Instantly, the Arrancar was awake.

"Now!" screamed Tōshirō, knowing that it was already too late. Due to Matsamoto's timing error, he knew that the Espada could sonido away before the chains hit.

The quick eyes of the little captain followed the even quicker eyes of the Arrancar as he recognized his danger. Rather than leave, however, he used the tiniest fraction of a second that their ineptitude had allowed him to throw his body over Orihime, blocking the falling chains from making contact with her.

Immediately, Orihime awoke also and gave a squeal of terror. Ulquiorra pressed his forearms to the floor on either side of her, struggling to hold off the powerful chains. His entire back, however, was exposed to the strong suppression forces, such that his reiatsu was instantly reduced enough that he couldn't break them. To Tōshirō's relief, the Espada was only bare from the waist up, and Orihime was also dressed, though only in a thin nightgown. It wasn't much, but at least it was something. The bare back of the Arrancar, however, provided more than enough skin for the kidō to do as was needed.

"Orihime!" exclaimed Rangiku, seeing her little friend in trouble. "Taichō, she'll be crushed!"

It was true. Struggle as he might, Ulquiorra was being forced into the ground by the powerful, crushing forces of the kidō spell. Only, it wasn't simply ground beneath him: it was the woman he was trying to protect. Tōshirō knew that he was supposed to kill the Hollow quickly, but, in this position, there was no safe way to do so. With him bound to the ground, the only way to do it would be to drive his Zanpakutō into him through the chains, but, with him lying on top of Orihime, she would likely be slain also.

"What's happening?!" screamed Orihime, gasping beneath the weight. "Stop! What's going on?" She looked around, seeing the Shinigami, but none answered her.

"Let her go!" came the strained voice of the Espada. "Take me; let her go."

Again, he struggled to lift himself off of her, but succeeded only in allowing her room to breathe for a moment before being thrust down upon her again.

"It's you we want," replied Hitsugaya. "If you will agree to stay, then we will let her go."

The Espada's body began to tremble, though whether it was from fighting the kidō or from emotion the Shinigami could not tell. Hachi looked to Tōshirō questioningly, but the little captain was calm now. The Espada was trapped. He could not leave. Orihime was in danger of being suffocated by the weight, perhaps, but that would take some time. He could afford to wait until the Arrancar made his decision.

"I ... I accept," gritted the Hollow at last. "Let her go!"

"Ulquiorra!" exclaimed Orihime, still gasping. "What's happening? I don't want to leave you!"

Tōshirō motioned to Hachi again, and he nodded to his fellow kidō warriors. Together, the four of them carefully released a small amount of the pressure of the spell. Ulquiorra again rose off of Orihime with a struggle, still held down by the weight of the chains and able only to lift himself an inch or two above the human below him. Immediately, Matsamoto caught hold of Orihime by the shoulders and drug her out from under him. No sooner was this accomplished than the spell was returned to full force and more, and Ulquiorra was slammed to the floor, unable to move, as the chains continued to eat away at his ever-decreasing reiatsu.

"No!" screamed Orihime, struggling against Rangiku's firm grip. "What are you doing to him?! Stop!"

As soon as Orihime was safe, the Espada had ceased his struggles. He lay still, looking Hitsugaya-taichō in the eye. Tōshirō had expected to see rage or perhaps fear from the other, but there was nothing in the Hollow's expression. He was calm. He did not move or speak. He did not resist. Tōshirō found himself hesitating a moment, surprised at this, before setting his jaw firmly. Silently, he lifted his Zanpakutō. The Espada's eyes merely drifted shut with a quiet sigh of resignation.

"No!" shrieked Orihime, finally breaking free from Rangiku's grasp. "Stop!" Rushing forward, Orihime threw her own body over Ulquiorra's, effectively halting the descending blade. Her chest to his back, her arms spread along his, and her legs over his also, she looked into Tōshirō's face with pleading, ignoring the glowing mesh of kidō chains now beneath her.

"Stop!" she cried again as tears streamed down her face. "Leave him alone. Don't hurt him!"

As soon as she fell over him, the Arrancar's eyes shot open and fear touched his expression.

"Orihime," he pleaded quietly. "You must get off of me. These chains will kill you."

"No! I won't let them do this! I won't let this happen!"

"Orihime, please!"

Ulquiorra's voice was not alone in pleading with her. Tōshirō gave a single, sharp word of disapproval, and Matsumoto attempted coaxing, telling her that she was only endangering herself, and even Hachi spoke to her, being careful not to lose his own concentration. Orihime, however, wouldn't listen. She gripped Ulquiorra's wrists through the chains, shut her eyes, and shook her head.

"No," she whispered. "I won't let them hurt you."

There was nothing she could do, however. The chains quickly ate away her own strength. Again, Ulquiorra struggled as he sensed her reiatsu fading. He fought against the bindings, but it was useless. As Orihime's grip loosened in weakness, Tōshirō again motioned to his lieutenant, and Rangiku quickly took hold of her and lifted her from the body of the Espada.

"Orihime," Matsamoto soothed as the girl continued to cry, too weak to resist now, "it'll all be over soon. Hush. There now, don't watch."

At those words, Tōshirō saw a flash of anger flicker through the eyes of the Espada, but the latter still did not speak. Ulquiorra lay still, waiting, knowing that it was useless to struggle. As Tōshirō again lifted his Zanpakutō, however, he suddenly felt Orihime's reiatsu spike.

"Tsubaki, _Koten Zanshun_! I reject!"

The little fairy sprang suddenly to life and attacked with a ferocity that none there had ever seen. All of the force of Orihime's emotional strength ─ power and determination far beyond anything she had ever before felt ─ was poured into this single defensive attack. There was greater resolve in that strike than any that Tsubaki had had behind him before then. The four kidō warriors were physically thrown back, interrupting the main strength of the spell. Even Hitsugaya-taichō was startled at the power of the attack, having to step back to avoid the glowing blade.

Once the immediate danger was removed, the tiny, golden blade-shield turned and slashed through the now-weakened kidō chains as if they were paper. In the blink of an eye, the chains were dashed to pieces which in turn dissipated into the air. Ulquiorra slowly drug himself to a sitting position, turning to look at her in surprise.

Stumbling forward again, her own strength not yet returned, Orihime threw herself into Ulquiorra's waiting arms. She gripped him tightly, crying again, and resting her head on his shoulder now. For his part, Ulquiorra drew her close, holding her in his protective embrace and whispering soft words of comfort to her. Even so, his eyes remained sharp, looking around at the Shinigami still watching them. They all knew that his strength was far drained and would take time to return. Even unbound, it was clear that he could not escape them at this time.

Hitsugaya straightened himself, looking at the couple with a frown. Turning to the other Shinigami, he said simply, "Prepare another binding kidō." To Matsamoto, he said quietly, "Be ready to draw Inoue away from him again."

Ulquiorra's muscles tensed. Tōshirō suspected that he would have fled immediately, had he the strength. As things stood, Tōshirō knew that the Hollow's reiatsu would be quickly returning to him, and he might soon be able to leave himself, but only if he shoved Orihime off of himself. With the way that they were gripping each other, Tōshirō suspected that he would want to take the girl with him, which would mean that he would have to wait even longer.

"Hitsugaya-kun, why?" demanded Orihime, turning to look at the little Shinigami captain. "Why do you want to kill Ulquiorra? He's not evil now."

"He is the Fourth Espada," replied Tōshirō firmly. "He is a threat to all living things."

"No, he isn't!" argued Orihime. "Not anymore! He's kind now; he's not going to hurt anyone."

"He has warped your mind, Orihime," snapped Tōshirō. "Don't you see that you are defending an Arrancar?"

"I don't care! I ... I love him!"

The eyes of all of the Shinigami snapped open at that.

"Orihime..." murmured Matsamoto.

"Rangiku-san," pleaded Orihime. "I know that you think that Ulquiorra is controlling me, but he's not! He wants to stay with me, and I want to be with him. Please! You have to believe me. I _want_ him to stay!"

"This Arrancar fought for Aizen, Orihime-chan," said Hachi.

"But Aizen's gone now," protested Orihime. "He's not fighting for him anymore."

"Orihime," sighed Tōshirō.

"Please, you have to believe me, Tōshirō-kun! Kurosaki-kun, Ishida-kun, and Sado-kun will all tell you. He's not bad now. And ... and _I_ want him to stay."

Orihime's tear-filled eyes moved from one Shinigami to the other, silently pleading with each of them to believe her. Matsamoto clearly did so, and she turned her own large eyes to her captain almost imploringly. Hachi hesitated, lowering his own gaze to the floor, but Tōshirō merely glowered at all of them.

"Even if what you say is true," he growled, "it does not change our orders. No matter what his intentions or purpose in being here may be, he is still a Hollow. He has no right to be in the Land of the Living. His soul must be purged."

"No!" exclaimed Orihime. "You can't kill him! I won't let you!"

"He is not alive, Inoue Orihime," argued Tōshirō. "He is already dead. He belongs with the dead, not with the living."

"But ... he belongs with me," replied Orihime, struggling to keep her voice firm. "And I belong with him!"

"Orihime-chan, you can still see him," smiled Rangiku encouragingly, seeming to reach a happy conclusion in her own mind. "Remember that he'll just be going to Soul Society now where he'll be whole again. And when you come to visit us there, you can find him! Who knows? Maybe he'll even become a Shinigami taichō himself in time! Won't you be proud of him then?"

"I don't want to see him as a Shinigami!" cried Orihime. "I want him here with me now! I don't want him to go to Soul Society!"

"That isn't your choice," stated Tōshirō. "His soul must be purged. A Hollow cannot remain on this plane of existence. It is the duty of the Shinigami to send him to the next world."

"It's not right!" exclaimed Orihime. "What you're doing isn't right! He's kind now; he's a good person. You can't just kill him!"

"Orihime-chan, he's not going to die," soothed Rangiku, laying a comforting hand on her friend's head. "His soul will go to Soul Society where it belongs. This isn't a goodbye."

"Do not give her false hope," came the calm voice of the Espada.

"Eh?" asked Rangiku curiously. "You know that that's what will happen. How is it false hope?"

"A Hollow who is slain by a Shinigami's Zanpakutō is sent to the Soul Society," replied Ulquiorra quietly, "or to Hell."

The Shinigami looked at him in surprise.

"As I said," repeated Ulquiorra. "Do not give her false hope. You yourself cannot know where my soul will be sent when you purge it."

"You should know," growled Hitsugaya. "And if you are a soul bound for Hell, then all the more reason for us to send you on your way. You have no right to exist in this world."

"No!" exclaimed Orihime. "You can't! He's not like that anymore. He's not evil. Please!"

"Orihime," soothed Rangiku, "whatever he did as a Hollow doesn't matter. The Zanpakutō can──"

"──can purge all sins committed after death," interrupted Ulquiorra. "All of my actions as a Hollow, as an Arrancar, and as an Espada, will be meaningless. It is only my actions before my death that will matter."

The Shinigami again looked at him silently.

"Is there something that you'd like to tell her about that?" asked Hitsugaya. "Something, perhaps, that she doesn't know about you?"

"You misunderstand me," answered Ulquiorra. "The truth is simple: I myself do not know where I will be sent. Some Hollows retain the memories of their past life after their Hollow transformation, but most do not. I am one who does not. I have no memory of my life as a human, therefore I have no way of knowing whether I will go to Soul Society or to Hell when my soul is purged. I will say it again: do not give her false hope. It is possible that she and I will meet in Soul Society at some time, but it is also possible that, when you slay me, she and I will never see each other again."

Orihime tightened her grip on him, pressing her face into his chest as she struggled to hold back her tears. "I won't let you go!" she whispered. "I want to stay with you forever!"

"Well, there goes my strongest argument," pouted Rangiku with a shrug. "Still, there's a chance, you know."

"It's true that there is no guarantee," sighed Hitsugaya. "But this still changes nothing. You are a Hollow; your soul must be purged. You cannot remain in the Land of the Living."

"No," came Orihime's soft voice. "I won't let you take him!"

"You cannot stop the decree of the Gotei 13, Inoue Orihime. You can fight against us, but you would be spitting into the wind. In the end, you yourself may be hurt."

"I'd rather you killed me!" she cried vehemently. "Take my soul, if you have to take someone. Leave him!"

"Orihime," whispered Ulquiorra reprovingly.

"I can't lose you again," whimpered Orihime, gripping him tightly. "I can't. Not again."

Ulquiorra stroked her hair gently, looking down at her in silence as the four kidō warriors around the room shifted uncomfortably. Hachi looked to Tōshirō for instruction, but the latter did not acknowledge him. Rangiku too looked at her captain, saying nothing. Tōshirō waited for a short time, considering, and then opened his mouth.

"Shinigami Taichō," came Ulquiorra's voice, before the other could speak.

"Eh?" asked Hitsugaya.

"How old are you?"

"What?!" exclaimed Tōshirō, clearly offended at the question.

Ulquiorra lifted his calm, powerful gaze to meet the icy blue eyes of the little Shinigami before him.

"How old are you?" he repeated.

"What difference?" retorted the other, speaking through his teeth.

"I would guess that you are under a century," continued Ulquiorra. "But I would guess that you are, by far, the youngest Shinigami present. Would I be incorrect?"

"What is your point?" demanded the other.

"Inoue Orihime is human. She has, most likely, fifty or sixty more years to live in this world. Allow me to remain with her for that time. I will not cause trouble for Soul Society. I will not harm the humans here in the Land of the Living, neither those alive nor dead. I will remain by her side only. If you will grant this, then I promise you this likewise: at the end of Orihime's life, when a Shinigami comes to perform the Konsō on her soul, I will allow him to purge mine also. I do not ask that you disregard your orders; I do not ask to be spared; I ask only that you grant me a temporary reprieve. What difference is half a century to the Shinigami? It will come and pass as nothing."

"Ulquiorra," breathed Orihime quietly.

Tōshirō was quiet, considering. It was clear from the creases in his forehead that he didn't like this suggestion. However, he didn't like his other options either. In truth, he knew that he didn't have the ultimate right to make this decision. Unless...

"If I refuse," he said slowly, "then what will you do?"

Ulquiorra looked back at him with a calm, expressionless countenance. His voice was again a perfect monotone as he replied, "Then I will fight for my life ... for the sake of Inoue Orihime."

Orihime turned her head also to look Hitsugaya-taichō in the eye. "And I will fight at his side," she said firmly. "I won't let you take him."

Matsamoto gave a sigh of romantic contentment, watching the two young people in each other's arms, vowing to protect each other until the end. This, however, served only to annoy Tōshirō even further.

"That decision is not mine to make," he said at last. "Yamamoto-Taichō and the Gotei 13 would have to make that decision, and I would not suggest that you hold any hope on that count."

"Tōshirō-kun," pleaded Orihime, turning to face him. "Would you take me to them? Would you let me speak with them?"

"No," replied Tōshirō firmly. "Yamamoto-Taichō would not approve of you coming to him unbidden, and you, as a human, would have no say in the decisions of the Gotei 13 regardless." He sighed. Looking again at Ulquiorra, he asked, "Have you the strength to fight us now if we refuse to leave?"

"I would fight for Inoue Orihime, even if I had no strength."

"Our orders are to capture you and to send you to the next world," stated Tōshirō firmly. "Whether that is to Soul Society or to Hell is irrelevant; I cannot disobey my orders."

"Taichō──" began Matsamoto.

"But," Tōshirō cut her off suddenly, " _if_ , through our own carelessness in under-estimating the will of Inoue-san in her desire to defend you, it _happened_ that you were to escape and that we were not able to find you, then we would have no choice but to report back to Soul Society and request new orders."

Ulquiorra eyed him silently.

"We would, of course, report all that you have said and requested to the Commander General, and he would then decide what would be done. But remember," continued Tōshirō, frowning darkly now, "if the orders remain unchanged, then it will likely be a stronger captain who is sent the next time: one less willing to talk."

"I understand." Ulquiorra gave a single nod.

"Tōshirō-kun," breathed Orihime, beaming at him through half-dried tears. "You're letting him go?"

In response, Tōshirō merely smirked. "Of course not," he replied. "I must follow my orders, as I stated." Turning again to Hachi, he said firmly, "Prepare another binding kidō."

Rangiku gasped, but it was not at her captain's words. Tōshirō merely rolled his eyes and frowned at his subordinate's surprise as the human and the Hollow before them suddenly vanished. After all, what had she expected?

"Attempt to locate them," Hitsugaya ordered in a bored voice, turning to leave the room. "Report back to me here in one hour."

The four kidō warriors bowed and left quickly. Rangiku alone followed her captain out onto the balcony. Standing there in the night air, Tōshirō crossed his arms silently, looking up at the stars.

"Taichō," smiled Matsamoto. "You _can_ be romantic."

"You're not exempt from the order, Matsamoto," growled the little Shinigami. "Go and try to find the Arrancar. Remember: if we return in failure, it may not go well for us."

"Taichō! You may be the sweetest man I know!" Matsamoto gave him a beautiful smile before disappearing herself, moving quickly before he could yell at her in frustration.

Left alone, Tōshirō closed his eyes and sighed wearily. He knew that he ought to obey his orders; he knew that what he had been instructed to do was right. And yet, somehow, he felt that a delay of half a century would not be too much to ask. After all, the Espada had not tried to escape when he was given the chance: he had chosen to protect Orihime, even at the expense of his own life. If his actions were not deceiving (and Tōshirō couldn't see how they could be in this case), then he was speaking the truth. He wanted to stay with Inoue Orihime, and that was all. It seemed very likely that that was, in fact, his only reason for being here. And if that was the case, then a simple delay in the purging of his soul could be allowed perhaps.

Tōshirō could only hope that the rest of the Gotei 13 might agree.

* * *

 **A/N:** **I know that a lot of people have written about Ulquiorra's pre-Hollow life; I also know that some Hollows retain their memories from pre-death. However, not all do, and I think it clear, if you pay attention to Ulquiorra's conversations, that the Cuatro Espada does not remember his. It is clear that he has no memory of what it was like to actually** _ **be**_ **a human.**


	16. The Torment of the Mind that Cares

_**Chapter 16**_

 **The Torment of the Mind that Cares**

* * *

 _ **A/N: WARNING: If you don't like mild-to-moderate cliff-hangers, don't read this chapter, until I get the next one or two finished also.**_

* * *

Alone, deep in the forest outside of Karakura, Ulquiorra stopped and set Orihime on her feet. His strength hadn't fully returned, and the reiatsu-suppressing gigai didn't help, so he was now badly in need of rest himself. Of course, he was careful not to let Orihime see this.

No sooner was she on her feet than Orihime turned wrapped her arms around him tightly, pressing her head to his chest as her shoulders trembled with suppressed sobs.

"I was so scared, Ulquiorra!" she whimpered. "I don't think I've ever been that scared in my life!"

Ulquiorra sniffed, slightly amused. "I'm sure that you were more afraid for Kurosaki Ichigo when I first killed him," he countered. "Or was that all an act in Hueco Mundo?"

Orihime stuck out her lip in a pout. "That's not fair." She held him more tightly and took a deep breath. "I thought ... I thought that they were really going to kill you."

"They would have," replied Ulquiorra, "if not for you. And they yet will, if they find us."

Orihime gripped him more tightly. "No!" she gasped. "They can't! I won't let them!"

"I will not allow them to find us," soothed Ulquiorra. "Have no fear. I was careless in assuming that they would not notice my presence, so long as I was wearing this gigai. It is clear that they have other means of locating me."

Orihime gasped. "You don't think that Urahara-san is helping them, do you?" she exclaimed.

"No," replied Ulquiorra. "I do not."

"Then..." Orihime blinked in confusion, but Ulquiorra didn't answer the unspoken question.

"It doesn't matter," he said. "What matters is that we do not let them find us."

"But we're safe for tonight at least, right? I mean, Tōshirō-kun let us go, so he's not──"

"He did not let us go," interrupted Ulquiorra. "He allowed us to escape; nothing more. If he captures us again, he may not allow us to leave a second time. We cannot take that chance."

"Didn't you see Rangiku's face?" argued Orihime, shaking her head and drawing back enough to look at him. "And even Tōshirō-kun? The rest of the Shinigami might still think that you're bad, but Tōshirō-kun and Rangiku don't now. They know that you're not a threat to them, and they know that you're staying to be with me. They won't come after you, as long as──"

"They have their orders," Ulquiorra interrupted again. "If they disobey them, then they will be viewed as traitors of Soul Society." He ran his fingers gently through her hair as he looked at her. "...just as you are now, it would seem."

Orihime pressed her lips together resolutely. "I don't care what they think about me. I'm not going to let them hurt you!"

Ulquiorra said nothing. He carefully brushed a stray lock of hair from her face, tucking behind her ear. Orihime bit her lip, as he then gently brushed away one of the tears that had gathered in her eyelashes.

"I ... I won't let them..." she breathed.

Cupping his hand around her cheek, Ulquiorra slowly leaned forward. Orihime's eyes widened as she stared at him. Her own head tilted back a little to meet his, following his eyes as they moved from her own to her lips. In a moment, she could feel his warm breath mixing with her own. There was the lightest touch of soft skin against her lips, and then Orihime turned away, the tears again gathering in her eyes.

"No," she whispered, shaking her head slightly.

"Orihime?" Ulquiorra asked, clearly confused.

"I ... I want my first kiss ... to be you," Orihime answered, closing her eyes now.

Ulquiorra continued to look at her in silence, and Orihime sniffed and turned to look at him again. Lifting her own hand, she brushed her fingers over the tanned skin and strong flesh of the face that he was now wearing.

"This isn't you," she continued sadly. "It doesn't look like you, or feel like you, or smell like you, or anything!" She shook her head again. "I want my first real kiss to be _you_."

Ulquiorra emitted a quiet sigh as he took her hand in his, drawing it down from his face.

"I cannot remove the gigai at this time," he said tonelessly. "My presence would be too easy for them to find."

Orihime nodded. "I know," she said. "I ... I know." Wrapping her arms around him again, she pressed her face to his now-muscular chest. "I hate this gigai," she murmured.

A hint of a smile pulled at Ulquiorra's mouth. "So do I," he responded.

"Can we go somewhere that you won't need to wear it?"

"There is nowhere in the Land of the Living where that would be the case, so long as Soul Society is looking for me."

"But what about if we went to Australia? Or ... or America? Somewhere far, far away from here? They wouldn't find us then!"

"Orihime," sighed Ulquiorra. "There is nowhere in the Land of the Living where my presence would not create a disturbance. No matter where I was, if they were looking for Espada or even for strong Hollows, they would sense me."

Orihime frowned sadly, but then her face suddenly lit again. "We could go back to Hueco Mundo!" she exclaimed. "We'd be safe there. We could live in your tower again, just like before, only this time I wouldn't be a prisoner, and maybe you could show me around the rest of your tower, and──"

Ulquiorra lifted a hand and pressed his fingers to her lips. "Enough," he said. "I will think of something."

Orihime pouted at first, but then she sighed and smiled. Pressing her own hand to his, she kissed his fingers before drawing his hand down to rest over her heart. "I know you will," she murmured.

Ulquiorra continued to look at her for a long moment before speaking again. "We should get some sleep."

Orihime blinked in surprise, glancing around them at the woods. "Here?" she asked.

"Here," nodded Ulquiorra. "As you said, the little Shinigami captain allowed us to escape, so it is likely that he will not pursue us intently tonight. I will need time to think, and we will both need strength for whatever we must do next. Sleep is the wisest course right now."

Orihime nodded. "Okay," she agreed. "I guess you're right."

"Come."

Ulquiorra stretched himself on the ground, lying on his back, and drew her down to lie on top of him. Orihime blushed only slightly as this was done.

"Won't you get dirty?" she asked nervously.

"It is only a loathsome gigai," he replied. "It doesn't matter."

Orihime giggled softly at that. She then relaxed, pressing her head to his chest with a gentle sigh, and closed her eyes.

"I love you, Ulquiorra," she whispered sleepily.

Ulquiorra said nothing. Only his hand moved as he stroked her long hair. He listened to her breathing growing calmer as she slowly drifted off to sleep.

For his own part, however, Ulquiorra remained wide awake. Though he had tried to assure her that they were safe for the time being, Ulquiorra knew that it was not so, and that they no longer had the luxury of time. If the Shinigami wished to find him, they could now do so with ease. What he had not wished to tell her, and what he was pleased to see that she had not yet guessed, was simple: they no longer had to look for him. They could look for her. His new gigai fully masked his own presence, but it was not so with Orihime. As a human, she already inhabited a physical body, so she could not simply don a special gigai as he had done. She could not conceal her reiatsu completely.

It's true that the little Shinigami captain tonight had suggested that he would present Ulquiorra's request to the Gotei 13, but he had also made it clear that they were not likely to accept it. The probability of someone else coming ─ someone stronger and less reasonable ─ was very, very high. Indeed, it was almost a definite. Even tonight, if the Shinigami currently in the Land of the Living were to change their minds, they could find the two without great difficulty. Perhaps they had a little time now; perhaps they did not. Even if they did, Ulquiorra knew that they had far less than he would have liked.

What were they to do now? Ulquiorra could keep hidden from them easily, if he were alone, but he could not do so while with Orihime. Nowhere in this plane of existence would be beyond their reach. But if they were to go to another, could they be safe there? Couldn't he simply take her back to Hueco Mundo as she had suggested? She was willing to do that. It would be beyond the reach of the Shinigami. They would be together. They would be safe there.

No, Ulquiorra knew. _She_ would not be safe. Hueco Mundo was the world of Hollows, and although he could protect her, it was not a place where Orihime could thrive. It is true that she had lived there for a time, but to live there for the rest of her life was not something to which he would subject her. She had seen only Las Noches; he had seen all of that world. The barren wasteland that stretched onward forever; the acrid winds that howled across the landscape; the perpetual night with the ever waning yet never changing moon; the constant shrieks and howls of the Hollows who lived, hunted, and died there. It was no place for a human. Yes, he could keep her safe, he was sure, but to find food and water fit for a human would be impossible. Las Noches had had everything that was needed, but Ulquiorra had seen from the world of worlds the disrepair into which the great fortress had fallen. It was no longer a fit place to live. And really, even if it was, could she live there for the rest of her life, never seeing another human? Never seeing her human friends? Could she abandon forever the friends who had risked everything including their own lives to come and to save her from that very place? Surely not. He knew how much they all meant to her. He would never ask that of her.

She must stay here, in the Land of the Living, where she belonged. But where here could they be safe from the ever-present Shinigami? She had suggested another country here in the Land of the Living, but that would be only a temporary solution until they were again found. They could, perhaps, live a life on the run, never staying for long in one place. It was possible that that would be enough to evade the Shinigami hunting him. Even so, it presented some of the same problems that Hueco Mundo did: she would be cut off from her friends, from the life that she had known for so long. She would have him, but she would have only him, and he would still be forced to wear this abhorrent gigai at all times, meaning that it would never seem like it was truly him with her.

The gigai too would be a problem: in this plane of existence, he would have to wear it always, but it would not last forever. She could repair it, it was true, if it was only somewhat damaged, but what if it were to be destroyed? Only Urahara could create a new one, and there would be no way to acquire it or even to request it without alerting Soul Society to their presence. To go away together would only delay the inevitable: he would eventually have to leave regardless. Even if the gigai lasted forever, if he was to take her away and into hiding, no matter where they went, Orihime would, for all practical purposes, be alone for the rest of her life. Ulquiorra could not and would not ask that of her. A life on the run, forever watching the path behind them, forever questioning every shadow, every breath of wind. No, he couldn't subject her to that. It wasn't fair; it wasn't right. Orihime deserved to live a life of joy and freedom. She needed sunlight and happiness and friendship, not darkness and secrecy and solitude. He could not take her away from here, only to live in secrecy and fear for the rest of her life.

He had to go alone.

The pain that this thought brought him was excruciating, but he knew that it was true. He could not take her from this place. But he could not stay with her. The attack tonight had shown him that the Shinigami were not above endangering her to capture him. So long as he was near to her, she was in danger. He had to leave her.

But where would he go? He supposed it would be simplest to return to Hueco Mundo himself. Indeed, that was the one place into which the Shinigami would not pursue him. He could easily survive there.

... _survive_.

The word echoed in his mind, sounding the lonely knell of emptiness once again. He had 'survived' there for so long. He had ... existed. There was nothing there for him. There never had been. Until Aizen had come, his existence had been meaningless. After Aizen was gone, it was meaningless once more. Orihime had given him meaning; had given him purpose. Without her, what was the point of existing? Would he return to the emptiness from which he'd risen? Could he return to the lifeless, cold, indifferent world that had so perfectly reflected his own empty soul for so many years? Could he go back to what he was? For what purpose? Why?

For her.

To save her, he would do it. He saw now that he could keep her safe only by leaving her. For her sake, he could return to what he had been. Yes, he must leave. He must disappear from her life. He could not tell her that he was leaving; he could not tell her where he was going. If he did, she would surely come after him. She would follow him even to Hueco Mundo, and he could not allow that. He was determined to ensure that she was safe, and if never seeing him again was what would keep her safe, then that is what he would bring to pass. After all, the Shinigami would not harm her, if he was not with her.

Ulquiorra's eyes shot open in horror as fresh realization hit him.

No, the Shinigami _would_ still hurt her. They would not know that he had left for good. They would assume that he had merely gone into hiding, probably nearby. They would take her, assuming that she would know his whereabouts. They would hold her hostage, imprisoning her against his return. As he had done with her so long ago, holding her to bait the Shinigami into coming for her, so he knew that they would do likewise. Orihime would be taken, this time by Soul Society, and held as bait for himself. He had no doubt of it. Only this time, he would not be the one assigned to protect her in her captivity. Would the Shinigami hurt her? Of course, they would, he told himself. After all, they had been willing to catch them both in the same spiritual net even tonight: one which would have done him no lasting harm but which could have destroyed her life entirely. Yes, they would use her; they would not hesitate to hurt her, if it meant allowing them to capture himself.

Even if Ulquiorra were to end his own life to free her of his presence, the Shinigami would not believe it. She could say that he died in front of her, and they would say that she was lying. She would be taken prisoner just the same, and what would they do to her? How long would they hold her? Ulquiorra himself would no longer be there to come and rescue her. It wasn't as though Kurosaki Ichigo would have the ability to do so either. No one would be able to save her.

Ulquiorra felt a sense of futility come over him as he saw that there was nothing that he could do. There was nowhere he could go. He could not stay with her; he could not leave her; he could not take her away. So long as she was with him, she would be in danger. So long as he was on the run, she would be in danger. By accepting his presence as she had and by declaring their love to the Shinigami tonight, her own fate had been sealed. She would now be declared an enemy of Soul Society in the eyes of the Shinigami. Even if not an enemy, she would be considered an accomplice and a source of information to be taken and used as needed. No. He would not allow that. He would keep her safe. He would do anything that it took to accomplish that. But what could he do?

Over and over, around and around, Ulquiorra wrestled with his thoughts. There was so little time! How soon would the Shinigami return for him? A week? A day? An hour? Something had to be done, and it had to be done immediately. For all he knew, they could be hunting for Orihime and himself even now. There was no time.

Like a cold fog on a dreary night, a solution gradually came to him. Wrapping its cold appendages around his consciousness like a harbinger of despair, the thought informed him that there was _one_ way. For a long time, Ulquiorra fought against it, wanting there to be another way. Surely there was some option that would enable them to remain together or to at least give the hope that they might one day be together again, even if not for right now.

No. There wasn't. Struggle as he might, he knew that there was only one option: one way to keep her safe. There was only one thing that he could do to ensure her safety, once and for all. She would not understand. If he tried to explain, she would never allow him to do it. He could not tell her. It torn at him to think that she might feel that he had abandoned her, but he knew that he had no choice. He knew what he had to do. And for her sake, he would do it.

Pressing his arms around Orihime's shoulders once more, trembling as he crushed the urge hold onto her forever, he lowered his head to kiss her hair. He breathed in her scent. He drank in the softness of her hair and body. He memorized the feel of every curve, pressed against himself. Then, forcing himself back again, he slid his left hand carefully under her stomach to press the spiritual release on his belt.

Standing above her and looking down at her again, Ulquiorra had never been so grateful for his gigai nor so passionately inclined to destroy it. The lifeless body that she had earlier described as 'attractive' lay beneath her, its right arm draped across her back as the left hand still touched the release. Ulquiorra was tempted to move the left hand back to her shoulders in the hopes of delaying her recognition of what had happened, but he did not do so. Instead, he knelt carefully beside her, gently pressed his cold lips to her right temple, just above the ear, then rose again without a sound. He knew what he had to do. He knew that she would not understand, but he hoped that she would someday forgive him.

It was the most difficult thing that Ulquiorra had ever done as he tore himself away from gazing at her. He turned his back and stood silently, eyes closed, facing the dark forest and sensing for any nearby presence. There was nothing that could be any threat: neither beast nor human, neither Hollow nor Shinigami. He extended his senses even further to be sure. There was nothing beyond the small woodland creatures of the night. With a quiet sigh, he again opened his eyes. Then, refusing to look back, he sonidoed into the darkness.

* * *

"Ishida Uryū."

Uryū woke with a start, feeling a powerful, dark presence very close to himself. When he saw the silhouette standing over him, he leapt out of bed, forming his bow instinctively, and pressing an arrow to the string. He then paused. The figure hadn't moved.

"Ulquiorra-san?" he asked.

"Yes."

Dropping his arm and allowing the bow to shrink back to nothingness, Uryū switched on a lamp and lifted his glasses from the nightstand with a sigh.

"May I ask what you are doing in my room?" he asked calmly, straightening his spectacles.

"Inoue Orihime is in need of protection ... and comfort."

Instantly, Uryū's head jerked upward as he stared at the Espada in shock. "What?" he demanded.

"You will find her in the midst of the woods, about three miles south-west of here. I would be grateful if you would go to her."

"What happened?"

"I do not have time to explain. She can tell you, when she awakens."

"Is she hurt?"

"No. She is sleeping."

"Then..."

"Will you go to her?"

Ishida hesitated. "You're not going to tell me what happened? Nor why you want _me_ to go to her, rather than going yourself?"

"No."

Again, Uryū sighed. He pressed his glasses back a bit further and then nodded. "Very well," he answered. "I will go."

"You will keep her safe?"

"Of course. I would never let anything happen to her."

"Thank you."

"Ulquiorra," said Uryū quickly as the other started to turn away. "Where are _you_ going?"

Ulquiorra paused. His gaze fixed on the wall, and he didn't answer immediately. At last, he said simply, "I'm going to make sure that she is kept safe; that no harm will come to her on my account."

"I don't know what's going on," replied Uryū, "but I think that when she's with you, she's already safe."

"No," Ulquiorra shook his head. "Not anymore."

Ishida stepped forward to stand in front of him. "What happened?" he asked firmly.

Again, Ulquiorra did not reply. His expressionless eyes betrayed nothing as he returned the Quincy's firm gaze.

"Go to her," he said at last. "Keep her safe." He turned away but then paused. Glancing back, he said, "If you would refrain from waking her for at least one hour, I would be grateful."

* * *

With that, he turned and disappeared from the room, leaving Uryū in silence and darkness.

Tōshirō stood on a grassy knoll, waiting for his third and fourth seat to report back to him. He had instructed Matsumoto to take Hachi and the other kidō warriors and to return to Soul Society with their report, while he himself supervised a final survey of the area with his third and fourth seat warriors. He didn't expect them to find anything. The Espada was far beyond their level. Of course, the Arrancar did have the woman with him which could slow him somewhat, but Tōshirō still doubted that it would be enough.

Interrupting his thoughts and startling him greatly, the Hollow in question appeared suddenly before him. He was no longer hidden in the spiritual suppression gigai, but rather stood calmly, undisguised, dressed in his pristine Arrancar robes with his Zanpakutō at his side. Tōshirō snatched for the hilt of his own Zanpakutō, but the Espada simply looked at him non-threateningly. Tōshirō hesitated, not drawing his blade.

"Well?" he asked.

Moving slowly and deliberately, Ulquiorra removed his Zanpakutō, still in its sheath, and offered it to the little captain before him. Tōshirō simply frowned.

"I surrender myself to you, Shinigami-taichō."


	17. The Torment of the Body that Cares

_**Chapter 17**_

 **The Torment of the Body that Cares**

* * *

"Where is he?! Where did he go?!" demanded the hysterical young women as Ishida attempted again to calm her.

"I don't know, Inoue-san," he repeated. "But I'm sure that he's alright. He said that he was going to make sure that you were safe."

"But why would he leave?!"

Orihime burst into tears, burying her face in her hands as her shoulders shook with the violent sobs. Feeling a bit awkward, Ishida gently wrapped an arm around her comfortingly. To his relief, Orihime sank into his half-embrace, calming her crying slightly.

"Why wouldn't he wake me first?" she whimpered. "It's not safe! He said so. And he didn't take his gigai! Oh, Ishida-kun, we have to find him right away!"

"Inoue-san," said Uryū hesitantly. "I don't know where he is, but there is someone else who might know."

* * *

Ulquiorra had not been in Soul Society for more than an hour before he realized that he was a fool. He had known for all of his Hollow lifetime, and indeed had had it confirmed to him during his time as one of Aizen's Espada, that the word of a Shinigami is not to be trusted. Why had he acted now as if it were otherwise? Before entering the Senkaimon, he had delivered his Zanpakutō to his captors as the little Shinigami captain assured him that his request for clemency would be considered and that his voluntary surrender would speak in his favor.

During the passage, he had been "guarded" by several Shinigami with drawn weapons. Once through, he had been met with a group of guards who immediately placed spiritual suppression cuffs on his wrists and ankles, severely limiting his reiatsu. Once this was done, the young Shinigami captain had instructed the others to place him in a cell and had then addressed himself to Ulquiorra, informing the latter that he would speak to the Commander General immediately. All of this, Ulquiorra had expected.

The short Shinigami had left, and Ulquiorra had been taken away. Far from being placed in a prison cell as he had expected, however, he was taken to what was clearly a laboratory. Unease had filled him, and he had considered attempting escape then and there, but the suppression devices already placed on him as well as the absence of his Zanpakutō made him hesitate. By the time he was inside, it was too late. He was taken to a room where far stronger suppression devices were placed on him. His jacket was removed, and he was fastened to a table by bonds that, in his now weakened state, he could not hope to break.

The bonds had not even been fully secured before an individual entered who, judging by the inhuman face alone, could have been Shinigami, Arrancar, or something else altogether. The madness in the other's eyes would have rivaled that of Szayelapporo Granz. The broad grin completed the horrific face, enhancing the insanity that seemed to emanate from him.

"Ulquiorra Cifer, Cuarta Espada," chuckled the strange Shinigami. "I would ask you to confirm, but I see that that is no longer a guess." With another chuckle, he ran a long, sharp fingernail over Ulquiorra's gothic tattoo, clearly exposed now that his jacket was gone. "I've read much about you and your comrades in the copious notes that your Octava Espada compiled. You have _many_ interesting abilities. At the moment, I'm especially interested in two of them. Perhaps you'd care to tell me about them yourself?"

Ulquiorra stared at the other with a perfectly cool, indifferent expression. Did this madman truly expect an answer? No. Time with Szayel had given Ulquiorra ample insight into a mind like this, and he knew that no answer was needed.

"No?" grinned the Shinigami. "Just as well. I'll want to experiment myself to see how they work. The first is what your comrade called _Solita Vista_. I understand that you have the ability to record what you've seen and replay it by removing your eye and then crushing it in your hand. Tell me, is this ability something that you choose to activate and deactivate? That is, will your eye record everything that you see, or only that which you want it to relate?"

Ulquiorra made a conscious effort to keep himself relaxed and not tense his muscles in expectation of what was to come. _Damn you, Szayel,_ he cursed inwardly. This Shinigami meant to take him apart quite literally. At this point, he would normally have turned his head away and closed his eyes, indicating that he had no intention of answering. Given the question just asked, however, he had no doubt that such an action would be interpreted as his own pathetic attempt to protect his eyes from the reach of this Shinigami. That, he would not do. Hence, he simply turned his gaze to the ceiling, keeping his expression always impassive, and not closing his eyes.

"Well, if you don't care to tell me," continued the other, "then I suppose I'll have to find out for myself. Nemu!" With that, he reached forward and, more carefully than Ulquiorra would have expected, took hold of Ulquiorra's right eyeball and forcefully yanked it from its socket.

Ulquiorra did not react. The pain was considerable, particularly in his weakened state, but it was not more than he had experienced in the past. As he had never shown pain in the past, no matter what the circumstances, so too he did not show any pain now.

The Shinigami held up the white and green orb, observing it closely while his female assistant leaned forward to examine the empty socket in Ulquiorra's skull. The Shinigami then turned again to Ulquiorra.

"Does it matter how it is crushed?" he asked. "Must it be by your hand? Or can it be by another's? Must it be by a hand at all?"

Still, Ulquiorra did not move or speak. Chuckling at his reticence, the Shinigami took Ulquiorra's bound hand, pressed the eyeball against the palm, and closed the fingers over it. Ulquiorra would have liked to have fought back against this, but he knew that it would do no good. Any struggle or resistance on his part would serve only to provide entertainment to his captors. So, again, he forced his muscles to relax, allowing the Shinigami to press Ulquiorra's own hand over the extracted eyeball, crushing it to powder.

The sparkling dust filled the room, and the Shinigami researcher again cackled with glee as he watched Ulquiorra's final interactions in the Land of the Living with the little captain, where Ulquiorra surrendered his Zanpakutō. He followed their journey through the Senkaimon and into Soul Society, and he watched the Espada being brought into this very room. When the visions ended, the Shinigami actually clapped his hands in delight.

"Wonderful!" he exclaimed. "I _must_ know how this works!"

Without further warning, and to Ulquiorra's surprise, the other reached forward immediately and roughly plucked Ulquiorra's left eyeball also from him. Ulquiorra could not fully suppress the surprised gasp which escaped him as this was done. With no sight then left to him whatsoever, he now found it a little more difficult to maintain his calm demeanor. His eyes had been all that he had had for most of his Hollow life. His other senses had opened to him with his Arrancar transformation, but he had still relied most heavily on his sight, using the other senses as tertiary enhancements to his experiences, never as primary. Even when he would, at times, relay information to Aizen-sama, using the ability that now so intrigued the madman who stood beside him, Ulquiorra had always had his second eye until the first regrew. Now, for the time it would take his weakened regenerative abilities to reproduce his most treasured organs, he was completely without sight. It was not the temporary rest of when he would close his eyes himself, either in boredom or mild frustration; it was not the temporary darkness of sleep; it was temporary, he told himself, but it was not by his choice. Knowing this, he knew too that he had no assurance that it would remain temporary: if the Shinigami had the ability to take his eyes from him now, and if Ulquiorra had no ability to resist, then his captor could and would do so at any time he chose. It was with great difficulty that Ulquiorra suppressed the shudder that rose within him at the thought of his dearest sense being now at the mercy and whim of the Shinigami counterpart of the mad Octava Espada.

Focusing on his resolve, Ulquiorra forced his breathing to remain calm and his body to remain relaxed. Whatever would happen would happen, and he would face it and accept it with the fortitude and indifference for which he was known. He would not yield to any sort of emotion, least of all to fear.

The Shinigami did not crush the second eyeball, or at least not in the little room. Ulquiorra's hearing and _pesquia_ informed him as the other turned and left the cell, very shortly after retrieving his new prize. The female Shinigami remained, most likely still observing the empty holes left from the removed organs. No longer caring what they would think, Ulquiorra allowed his eyelids to close, knowing that there was now nothing for them to cover.

No sooner was this done, however, before a finger forced his right eyelid open again. A small device of some sort was placed on it, holding it open. Ulquiorra felt his muscles tense as the process was repeated with his left eyelid. Would they leave him with no dignity? Was he not permitted even a little peace while his body rebuilt itself? No. Why would he have expected it? The Shinigami was doubtless as interested in his ability to regrow his eyes as he was in the eyes themselves. Hadn't he said that there were _two_ abilities in which he was interested at the moment? Ulquiorra felt that he could now guess what the second one was. Inwardly he sighed, not wanting to think about what lay in store for him now.

* * *

Even without having all of the facts, Ishida found himself silently cursing the stoic Arrancar. Orihime stood beside him, tears again streaming down her face, as she attempted to process what Urahara had told them.

"You're saying that they took him with them to Soul Society," summarized Ishida.

"Yes," nodded the shopkeeper morosely. "Yoruichi-san followed them, and she'll return with word as soon as she knows what they plan to do with him."

"We have to rescue him!" wailed Orihime. "Tōshirō-kun said that they were going to kill him! We have to save him before that happens!"

"Orihime-chan," soothed Kisuke, stepping forward to pat her head gently, "we'll do whatever we can. But you have to be strong now. Ulquiorra-san went with them of his own free will; they didn't capture him. You should try to trust that he knows what he's doing."

Ishida sniffed contemptuously. "He may think that he does," he stated, "but I doubt that he has any idea of what they have in mind for him."

"He knows," whimpered Orihime, shaking her head. "He knows that they'll kill him."

"I don't think that they will," replied Ishida, placing a hand on her shoulder gently. Then, with definite venom in his voice, he added, "That is, they won't, if the Shinigami decide to treat him as they would a Quincy." When Orihime looked at him, he continued, "You met him; the Shinigami I mean. The one who took and held my grandfather alive for some time before finally killing him. Do you remember?"

Orihime thought hard. She thought back to when she and Ishida-kun had traveled together through Soul Society to try to rescue Rukia-san. She remembered the Shinigami Taichō who had met them and offered to take them both _alive_. She shook her head again.

"No," she said quietly.

The voice from the distant past that had haunted her in half-remembered nightmares, even though she knew that Soul Society was now on her side, returned to her: " _Woman, would you consent to be my test subject? ... Rest assured, I'm gentle with the ladies. ... I'll limit drug therapies to eight times per day and mechanical experiments to only five times per day."_ The thought of Ulquiorra being in the hands of such a being was enough to make her sick.

"No! We have to save him!"

"Inoue-san," interrupted Kisuke again, waving his hands. "Yoruichi is in Soul Society now, trying to find out what is happening. Until we know that, there's really nothing that can be done."

"We could go after him!" exclaimed Orihime. "We rescued Rukia-chan. If Kurosaki-kun helps us, and if Sado-kun──"

"I'm sorry to have to remind you," interrupted Kisuke, "but Kurosaki-kun would be of no help this time, and I doubt very much that you would succeed without him."

Orihime bit her lip, lowering her gaze to the floor. "There has to be some way."

Urahara and Ishida exchanged hopeless glances, and the shopkeeper shook his head.

"We'll do whatever we can," promised Kisuke, forcing a fake smile across his face. "But until Yoruichi-san comes back with news, we'll just have to wait."

* * *

Mayuri's questions were not endless, but they were unpleasantly numerous. Regarding Ulquiorra's _Solita Vista_ alone, he had enough questions to fill over a week's worth of testing. For example, what was the maximum length that could be recorded by the Espada's eye? Was the recording process left to his discretion, or was it a natural, unstoppable phenomenon? Was there a difference in the quality of one eye over the other? Could the eyeball continue to record information after it was removed from the body of the Arrancar? If both eyes were removed at once and crushed at once, then would the visions appear in a more 3-dimensional aspect, as if the viewer were seeing things with two eyes him or herself?

Even before the testing of these had been finished, others began. Mayuri had no qualms about researching several aspects of the Arrancar's being at the same time, having no regard for the well-being (either physical or mental) of the subject, so long as he lived through the experiments. Ulquiorra quickly found that Mayuri knew about Ulquiorra's greatest strength being his regenerative abilities. While the others of the Espada had traded healing for strength, Ulquiorra had maintained the ability to restore his own body from any wound, so long as his brain and vital organs remained intact. Concerning this concept, Kurotsuchi-taichō had even more questions than of his eyes: which of Ulquiorra's limbs and organs would regrow if removed, and to what extent? How quickly would they regrow? How many times? What if they were merely damaged but not removed entirely? Would some extremities regrow more quickly than others? Would lack of nourishment and sleep affect the speed of his regeneration? What of concurrent injuries? That is, how many injuries could he sustain at a single time before his body would lack the strength to restore itself without help? When multiple injuries were inflicted at once, would the body heal the smallest first or the most dangerous first? What effect would spiritual suppression devices have on the regeneration? Already, enough of these suppression devices were placed on and around Ulquiorra to prevent the latter from escaping; how would increasing their suppressive forces influence the regeneration process?

Then, regarding his vital organs, how badly could these be damaged before they would be unable to regenerate? Which were truly considered vital? Before beginning testing in this area, Mayuri assured the Espada that he had taken the precaution of making several copies of Ulquiorra's various organs, such that they could be replaced by himself should they not regenerate properly. He smilingly informed Ulquiorra that he (Mayuri) would _never_ allow a research subject to die before every possible experiment and observation was complete, hence Ulquiorra should have no fear on that score. Mayuri reaffirmed this when, on the fifth day, he announced that he was going to temporarily sever Ulquiorra's head from his body, wanting to see whether the body would attempt to regenerate the head, or whether the head would attempt to regenerate the body, or whether perhaps both would occur, giving two copies of the Arrancar. Ulquiorra knew that neither would occur, and by that point he found himself secretly hoping that Mayuri would not be able to restore his (Ulquiorra's) life after this horrific experiment.

He was disappointed.

Indeed, by the end of the first day in Kurotsuchi-taichō's hands, Ulquiorra had decided that it would have been far better to have challenged the little Shinigami to whom he had surrendered himself to a fight to the death. Of course, he would have allowed the other to win in the end. Death by a Zanpakutō, regardless of where his soul then went, would have been far, far better than this.

By the end of the second day, he had decided that it would have been better to fight every Shinigami that Soul Society sent, killing them all, one by one, until he was finally slain himself. He would start with the little Shinigami who had taken him prisoner rather than killing him and had then consigned him to his current fate rather than to a prison cell, and he would continue with every Shinigami who dared to enter his sight thereafter.

By the end of the third day, he decided that before destroying all of Soul Society and every Shinigami in it, whether they opposed him or not, he should return briefly to the Land of the Living and kill Kurosaki Ichigo, very slowly and painfully, as payment for his daring to convince the former Espada to come to the Land of the Living in the first place.

By the end of the fourth day, Ulquiorra had given up on his hatred of those who had caused him to be in this position and had decided instead that he had been right from the start: that no emotion was worth the pain of loss and that emotions in general were an inhibition to ultimate happiness, and that happiness was indeed achieved by perfect nihilism. No love; no hate; no joy; no sorrow; no comfort; no pain. Where nothing existed, there was happiness. That was, once again, his goal, his ambition.

It was, therefore, less than a week before Ulquiorra ceased reacting at all to any of Kurotsuchi-taichō's experiments. From the start, he had refused to react emotionally. He would say nothing. He would indicate nothing of what he was feeling or thinking, so far as he was able, even though the maniacal captain would press him with questions almost constantly throughout the experiments. By the time five days had passed, he stopped showing even pain. Nothing could produce a reaction in him.

Even when Kurotsuchi decided that he wanted to examine Ulquiorra's Espada tattoo in his own, unique way, the Arrancar remained expressionless, although, it must be admitted, it was very difficult to do. Mayuri wanted to know how Aizen had managed to permanently mar the flesh of one whose body returned to its natural state whenever damaged. However, rather than examine it as was, he informed Ulquiorra that he wished to run tests that required the tattoo to be in machines in which he could not fit the entire Arrancar. Therefore he cut deeply into the flesh of Ulquiorra's chest, down the center and around the entire left side, then scraped and lifted the full piece of flesh right off of his bones, such that for the space of several seconds (until his regeneration began to work) a person could clearly see the Arrancar's actual ribs, not merely their imprint beneath his flesh. Mayuri had had no interest in this sight, however, and had simply left with his prize, leaving Ulquiorra to cough up a little blood from the few wounds to his left lung, until his body restored itself. Even so, Ulquiorra refused even to show pain.

The closest that Mayuri came to producing a reaction was not in taking Ulquiorra's tattoo (which did not reappear on the regenerated flesh), but rather when, on the sixth day, Kurotsuchi-Taichō decided to remove the final piece of Ulquiorra's Hollow mask ─ his half-helmet. Upon being informed of what was about to happen, Mayuri's ever observant eyes noticed the slightest trembling in the Espada's hands. Curious about this, Kurotsuchi-taichō pressed the matter, describing the process in detail, but the reaction was not repeated. Ulquiorra lay with an empty expression, ignoring the Shinigami. He had seen the masks of other Arrancars removed by force (not through the Hōgyoku), and he knew the pain and damage that it would cause them, but this was of no consequence to him. It was not the pain that he feared. His mask was what identified him as what he was. Its existence proclaimed to all that he was Hollow; its broken state declared that he was Arrancar: ascended above the state of a normal Hollow. Its pristine condition (no cracks) showed that he was strong enough or at least cunning enough to defend himself against all who would come against him. It was an integral part of his identity. Yes, he had been visibly without it for some time while in the faux body that Urahara had provided him, but he had been able to bear this mental discomfort with the knowledge that it was still firmly in place in his true form. The thought of having it removed was enough to spur him to action, to make him actually want to fight back. Even in this extremity, however, Ulquiorra's ever-present self-control was enough to hold these futile longings in check, although he could not fully hide his abhorrence of the suggestion.

The process was, indeed, excruciating, and, when it was finally torn from him, the mask came away with both flesh and hair, ripped from the side of his head and face. Even so, the Arrancar refused to show anything to his tormentor beyond the small reaction he had shown at first. Gradually his regenerative abilities began to work as the Shinigami Taichō watched with glee. His face rebuilt itself; the hair regrew; but the mask did not reform. Kurotsuchi-Taichō was clearly thrilled with this development and ordered his lieutenant to keep a close watch on "the subject" for any sign of the mask returning. Ulquiorra simply continued to ignore them both. He had, by this time, accepted the situation. One might accurately say that he had fully abandoned hope. Indeed, he was now only waiting to die.

* * *

"I'm a bit surprised with young Hitsugaya's persistence," said Yoruichi, licking her paws calmly. "He's insisting that the Arrancar should be allowed to return here to live with Orihime."

"Are the others agreeing with him?" asked Kisuke.

"At the moment, only Yamamoto has heard his full argument. The others have heard bits and pieces, of course, but mainly through rumors. They're having a captain's meeting on the subject tomorrow, and, as I understand it, the Arrancar's fate will be decided then."

Kisuke sighed. "I should tell Orihime-chan and her friends."

"There's nothing that they can do," replied Yoruichi, stretching a bit. "It would be better to wait until a decision is made and tell them then."

"Orihime-chan is coming over every day, begging to hear news," argued Kisuke. "I've only held her off by telling her that you hadn't returned. How do I keep telling her that I haven't heard anything now?"

"You're good at lying, Kisuke," smirked Yoruichi. "I'm sure that you can do it convincingly."

"Ah, you wound me, Yoruichi-chan!" grinned the blond Shinigami. He chuckled, then became serious again. "I suppose it would only make it worse if they tried to get into Seireitei to try anything."

"It would," nodded Yoruichi. "There isn't any way that they could do anything, particularly without Ichigo."

"Orihime-chan would try, even if she knew she couldn't win."

"I know. That's why we shouldn't tell her yet."

"She'll be upset when she finds out, you know."

"The captain's meeting is tomorrow. Just keep from telling her until then."

Again, Kisuke sighed dejectedly. "Life just gets so complicated sometimes."

Yoruichi simply smirked at him again before curling up on the mat. Life was _always_ complicated.

* * *

Death seemed to dance around Ulquiorra's thoughts in an alluring and yet taunting manner. It was so close, promising relief from his suffering, but he now doubted that promise. He had died previously in the battle with Kurosaki and had then been cast back into this nightmare that most people called life. Pointless. Was he destined to live in an endless cycle of hope and disappointment, always reaching and never attaining? Was this his own Hell? After all, who could say whether his death this time at the hands of the Shinigami would bring the peace that he sought? Would it bring only more questions? More struggles? Would his mind at last be free from the agony of the unknown and unknowable, or would it again be cast back into this realm or another, still searching for answers that could never been found?

Aizen had promised him answers. He had promised strength, meaning, purpose. Before Aizen, Ulquiorra had wandered in a seemingly endless of pursuit of _anything_ , until he had realized that _nothing_ was what he truly wanted. He had found it. He had lain in that blissful abyss, that pure absence, until Aizen had found him. The promises; the assurances; these had drawn him from his solitude to follow another: to follow hope.

But Aizen had been defeated. Ulquiorra had been left with nothing once more, but this time it was less than nothing. Hope disappointed was worse than having no hope in the first place. Ulquiorra knew this. He had experienced it firsthand. So then why then had he once more embraced hope?

He knew now that he had been a fool for ever imagining that he, a Hollow, could live life among the living, mingling with their colorful, energetic essences as if he was one of them. A Hollow, thinking that he could live with a Human? That he could ... _love_ a human? It was laughable. It was ridiculous. He had to have been mad to have even considered such a thing. He was a heartless Hollow, a being incapable of human emotion. His lot was with the dead, not with the living. Their lives were forever beyond his reach.

No one can touch the stars.

Orihime had spoken to him of "love." He had known then that it was foolishness. Had he not told her that it was a mere figment of their weak imaginations; a vain attempt to rescue them from the vanity of their short, pointless lives? So why had he himself embraced this nonsense, striving for what he knew that he could never attain? What madness had possessed to hope for anything beyond his empty existence? He was a fool. He had been drawn into the fantasies of a mind that he knew he could never understand. He had joined her building castles of "hope" and of "joy" and of "love" in the clouds of nonsense, failing to see that they would be blown apart with the slightest breath of cold, hard logic. He had been flying with her toward that which can never be reached, believing that which could never come to pass. It was nonsense. It was foolishness. Love was a non-existent idea. He could pursue it forever and never be closer to that foolish dream than he was here now on this table of torture. Life has no meaning. Life has no purpose. All is futile. All is empty. Love does not exist.

No one can touch the stars.

* * *

The captains stood in the hall of meeting as Hitsugaya-taichō presented the situation to all present. It had been a full eight days since the capture of the Espada, and the meeting to decide his fate had finally come. To be fair, for such a subject as this, Tōshirō knew that he should be glad that it had happened inside of a month. One week wasn't too long to have had to wait. Even so, he wanted this over and done with as soon as possible, preferably with a favorable outcome for the human friend of his lieutenant and ally of Soul Society.

"In summary," he said at last, "the Espada has requested a half-century hiatus, during which he would remain in the Land of the Living without eating human souls. I expect that he would consume other Hollows, if he needed sustenance, but these souls would be released when his own soul is purged. He has given his word that he will submit to the soul purge at the end of the hiatus, or, more specifically, when Inoue Orihime herself dies. He wishes to remain with her for the duration of her own mortal life. I see no reason to doubt that he is sincere, so I would suggest that we grant his request."

"We do not make deals with Hollows!" snapped Suí-Fēng. "There's no reason to do so now."

"Didn't you say, however, that he spared your own life?" asked Ukitake quietly. "I would think that that fact deserves consideration."

Suí-Fēng pressed her lips together angrily but didn't answer. Ukitake waited only a moment before continuing.

"I also think that it is worth considering the fact that Kurosaki Ichigo ─ the one who originally defeated this Espada ─ is the one who is now responsible for bringing him to the Land of the Living. Perhaps the Hollow is not as he was."

Komamura-taichō frowned. "Regardless of how he may have changed," he stated, "he is still a Hollow and an Espada. As such, he is strong enough to do incredible amounts of damage, and we would have no way of stopping him without wreaking havoc in the Land of the Living. Kurosaki Ichigo may have defeated him once, but he would not be able to do so again."

"He's right," nodded Rose. "It wouldn't be safe to trust a Hollow to live peacefully among humans."

"Ironic," muttered Mayuri, looking at the Vizard captain with a sneer.

"Did you have something to say to me, Kurotsuchi-taichō?" demanded Rose.

"I just think it strange that _you_ of all people would say that," replied Mayuri with a shrug. "After all, there isn't much difference between an Arrancar and a Vizard now, is there?"

Rose and Kensei both looked furious at this, but Shinji lifted a hand to mollify them.

"There's a world of difference," he replied firmly, looking darkly at Mayuri. "There are similarities in power, perhaps, but we are nothing alike in essence. Besides, you may remember that we Vizards secluded ourselves from the humans while we were in the Land of the Living. One of the reasons was that we didn't want to hurt them unintentionally. With an Arrancar, that risk would be far, far greater than it was with us. Rose is correct; it's not worth the risk."

"This Arrancar has been in the human world for some time now, causing no problems," argued Tōshirō. "We assumed that he was formulating some plan, and that that was why he had made no aggressive moves, but I now believe that he is speaking the truth when he says that he will cause no harm in the Land of the Living."

"No harm, you say?" grumbled Kensei. "Did you not say that he wished to be with the human girl? What does he mean to do with her?"

"I understand that they are ... emotionally attached," answered Tōshirō, trying not to stutter.

"Romantically, you mean?" smiled Kyōraku-taichō.

"Romantically?! With a human?" exclaimed Kensei. "Such a thing goes against the very natural order itself! It must not be allowed. Suppose that they were to produce offspring: what then? Would they be Hollow? This must not be!"

"Have you forgotten that Kurosaki Ichigo himself is a result of such an 'unnatural union'?"

"There is a world of difference between a Shinigami and a Hollow!"

"If the fear is that they will produce offspring," interjected Mayuri, "then I would not be concerned. I sincerely doubt that such a thing is possible."

"And if it is, you, of course, would be more than happy to know it, wouldn't you?" hissed Suí-Fēng. "Why shouldn't we suppose that you simply want more test subjects?"

"I am not advocating sending him back to the Land of the Living," retorted the twelfth captain. "To the contrary: I prefer to keep him where he is. I am merely stating facts as I see them."

"If he is indeed no threat, then I see no reason to hold him here as a prisoner," protested Tōshirō again. "Inoue Orihime likewise pleaded that he be allowed to stay with her. If we now──"

"She was his captive!" snapped Suí-Fēng. "Nothing that she says concerning him can be trusted. And as to him having caused no problems to this point, that is still no reason to assume that he does not have an underlying motive or plan that he is working to get into place. There is no reason to believe what he says about why he wishes to stay."

"If I may," came the gentle voice of the fourth captain. "I believe that I can shed a new light on this Espada's motives or lack thereof." Turning to the commander general, Unohana asked, "May I bring one of my officers into the meeting to testify? He has had first-hand experience with this Espada, more so than any captain here."

General Yamamoto frowned but nodded silently. With a smile, Unohana turned motioned to the guard at the door who opened it to reveal a cringing, frightened Shinigami. He entered hesitantly, bowing very low.

"Yamada Hanatarō," called Unohana gently. "Would you please tell the captains here what you told me about the Fourth Espada?"

"Um," stuttered Hanatarō, looking around himself fearfully. "Ulquiorra-sama was very kind to me. He saved me from the Hollows in Hueco Mundo, and he kept me safe. While we were staying in the strange world together, he helped me to help human souls who were being attacked by other Hollows. He never hurt me or any human soul."

"Perhaps you should explain from the beginning," smiled Ukitake. "For myself, I haven't heard this tale, and it is rather confusing. You spent time with the Fourth Espada in another world?"

"I'm sorry, sir. Yes, sir," nodded Hanatarō, bowing quickly. "It was just after the battles in Hueco Mundo. I was separated from the others and left alone there." Hanatarō then went on to describe his being accidentally left behind in the world of the Hollows, Ulquiorra's rescue of him, and the subsequent time that he spent in the World of Worlds. He told of his desire to assist lost human souls that he could see through the gateways and of how Ulquiorra would help to rescue them, sometimes killing the Hollows that had attacked the human souls.

"Ulquiorra-sama was very kind to me," insisted Hanatarō at last. "He never hurt me, and he never hurt any of the human souls that we saved either."

"Why did he suddenly decide to go to the Land of the Living?" queried the commander general. "Did he speak to you of his intentions while he was there?"

"Ulquiorra-sama really didn't speak to me at all," the trembling youth admitted. "Well, he spoke to me when he said that he was going to the Land of the Living. He said that he would take me there too, if I wanted, but I didn't want it, so he didn't, at first. He did later though, and that's how I was able to return here. I think that he went because Kurosaki-san asked him to come. At first, he said that he didn't want to go, but he changed his mind when Kurosaki-san wouldn't stop asking."

"So you see," said Tōshirō, crossing his arms, "it is as I said. I see no reason to believe that he is a threat."

"You see no reason to believe that he is a threat," repeated Shinji, "but I see no reason to believe that he isn't. It seems that your arguments are based on silence: he hasn't done anything wrong, you say. But I don't see that he has done anything _right_ either. Yes, he helped Yamada-kun, but he formerly helped Aizen too. He actually died for Aizen. What if he finds out that Aizen is still alive, merely imprisoned? Do you really think that he'll simply ignore that? And, if you do, are you willing to bet the lives of every human in Karakura Town, not to mention many Shinigami, on that?"

Tōshirō frowned but didn't answer. He pressed his lips together and lowered his eyes, considering what he should say. Before he could answer, however, Shunsui again spoke.

"I think that one important fact has been overlooked," he said with a gentle smile. "The Espada was not captured; he surrendered himself. Now, why would he do that? After pleading with Hitsugaya-taichō to allow him to go free, and even after escaping the Taichō's grasp, he returned and surrendered. Since his imprisonment here, he has not attempted to escape. I think I may have an answer: he's in love."

There were various reactions to this declaration, but Shunsui merely gazed into the distance, still smiling, as he continued to speak.

"Love does strange things to a man, you know. It makes any man act in strange ways. The Hollow wanted to stay with the pretty girl, but he didn't just ask for a week or a month or a year: he wanted to stay with her for her life. When the tenth captain here first tried to capture him, we're told that he had opportunity to escape, but he didn't take it, preferring to stay and defend the little lady. Then, when he did escape, he took her with him. When he returned to surrender, he left her behind. I'd say that his actions as well as his words point to a very strong emotional attachment to this female." Looking around at the others present, he concluded, "I'd be willing to trust him, at least enough to let him have a chance."

* * *

Matsumoto suppressed a shudder as she walked through the halls of the 12th division's research facility. This wasn't a place where she would normally come by choice. She was here on a mission today: the Espada was to be brought before the Gotei 13 for judgement, and she, as the lieutenant that had helped to capture him, was given the dubious honor of fetching him from his place of imprisonment.

"Lieutenant Nemu," she greeted the other with a slight bow. "I assume word was sent to you already?"

"Yes," replied Nemu blandly, bowing also. "You are here for the Arrancar."

Matsumoto nodded.

"Come," was the simple response.

Ignoring the crawling of her skin, Rangiku followed the apathetic lieutenant through a few more halls and into a testing room. There on a medical bed lay the Espada.

Rangiku could not fully suppress a gasp. True, the creature had appeared unnaturally thin and pale when she had last seen him, but now he looked even more dead than a Hollow would normally look. He lay flat on his back, strapped to an examining table by strong suppression cuffs on his wrists, ankles, waist, and neck. His eyelids were held open with small clasps, and he stared at the ceiling with a lifeless gaze. He wore nothing, although a narrow strip of cloth had been laid across his nether regions, giving him the barest semblance of modesty. What shocked Matsumoto the most, however, was that four thin rods had been thrust through him: one through each shoulder and one through each hip.

"What──" she exclaimed. "Why── What is this?"

"The Espada's body heals from any nonlethal wound," replied Nemu indifferently. "Kurotsuchi-taichō wished to know whether a wound which was not given opportunity to heal would scar, as would a human. These rods have been in him for fourteen hours now. The bleeding stopped shortly after they had been placed, but it was found that the wounds remained open. Skin did not form inside the holes around the rods, as would be expected."

Nemu stepped forward and yanked the rod out of the Arrancar's right shoulder. She then leaned forward to observe the hole, making comments to no one in particular. Rangiku decided that she was taking notes of the healing time, but she didn't care about that. Her own gaze was fixed on the face of the creature whom she knew was the current love interest of her dear human friend. The fact that he didn't respond to their presence and showed no hint of pain or even discomfort as the 12th lieutenant continued to remove the rods disturbed her. She didn't say anything about it though.

Once all four of the inflicted injuries had healed, Nemu removed the clips from the Espada's eyelids. She then fetched a simple white robe and several strong spiritual suppression cuffs before proceeding to unbind the Arrancar from the table.

Rangiku licked her lips. In this condition, he probably wasn't going to make the best impression on the gathered captains.

* * *

"The Espada has arrived, Taichō."

"Bring him."

The door opened, and Lieutenant Matsumoto appeared, escorting the former Cuarta Espada into the midst of the captains. Heavy, powerful suppression cuffs had been placed on his neck, wrists, and ankles, and strong chains bound these together. He wore a white robe, like those given to prisoners. It was bound around the waist with a single tie, but the robe itself was clearly too large for him, hanging loosely from his thin shoulders. Despite the obviously heavy weight of his bonds, the Espada stood tall and walked straight, his head only slightly bent forward and his eyes fixed ahead of himself. His gaze, however, was so empty and devoid of life that it would have been anyone's guess as to whether he actually saw anything before himself. There was no expression on his pale face, nor was there any life in his empty, green eyes.

Suí-Fēng and Hitsugaya, both having seen the Hollow in the Land of the Living, looked surprised.

"What have you done to him, Kurotsuchi-Taichō?" growled Tōshirō, frowning at the other.

"Tch, I have performed a few tests, nothing more," shrugged the 12th captain.

"He looks ... unwell," said Ukitake hesitantly, fully aware of the fact that he was speaking of a Hollow.

"Far less well than when I brought him here," confirmed Tōshirō, still looking at Mayuri through narrowed eyes.

"If you want to examine him, feel free to do so," snapped Kurotsuchi in an annoyed fashion.

He strode forward, took hold of the collar of Ulquiorra's robe, and yanked it off of the other's shoulders. The robe fell to his waist, hanging now by the tie there and revealing the pale skin of the Espada's back, arms, and chest for all to see. The Arrancar himself did not move or react to this.

"You'll find not a mark on him," continued Mayuri nonchalantly, returning to his place. "No scars; no injuries. My tests were all perfectly safe. Come! Examine him yourself, if that's what you want."

Ukitake looked a bit uncomfortable, and he didn't answer. Tōshirō merely continued to glare.

"I'm sure that there's no need to disrobe him here," murmured Kyōraku-taichō. "He's not in your laboratory, Mayuri."

"Tch," came Kurotsuchi's contemptuous response as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Hitsugaya, however, stepped forward. With a dark frown, he looked at Ulquiorra's left pectoral region.

"He formerly had a marking here, indicating his Espada rank," Hitsugaya stated, looking again at Kurotsuchi. "Where is it?"

"If you must know, I removed the marking." Kurotsuchi waved a hand dismissively. "What of it? It was only a marking. Without Aizen and the rest of his comrades, it isn't as though the ranking serves any purpose now."

"Did he not also have a fragment of a Hollow mask?" asked Ukitake. "I thought that all of the Espada had that as well."

"It was unnecessary for any function," sighed Kurotsuchi in exasperation. "I removed it also."

"What else have you removed from him?" growled Tōshirō.

"The Espada's physical condition is not under discussion right now," came Yamamoto's firm voice. "The question is whether to allow him to live in Hollow form and to return to the Land of the Living. The rest can be discussed later between yourselves as you like, but it does not pertain to the subject at hand."

Tōshirō's lips pressed together, but he returned to his place without another word. Yamamoto lifted his heavy gaze to rest on the diminutive Hollow before him.

"Arrancar," he rumbled. "We have discussed your request. Several here speak for you, which is something unheard of for a Hollow. However, taking their arguments into consideration, we are prepared to grant some of your request, provided you will abide by certain conditions set by Soul Society. Are you willing to swear to these?"

Ulquiorra's eyes never moved through this. Even as the commander general finished speaking, he continued to gaze unblinkingly at nothing. Several of the captains frowned, and Ukitake cleared his throat.

"Ulquiorra-san," he said quietly. "I understand that that is your name. We are willing to help you, if you will agree to it. Will you at least discuss it with us?"

There was still no response.

"If you refuse," growled Yamamoto, "then we may choose to treat you as the enemy that you, by nature, truly are. Is that what you wish?"

Even with this threat, the Espada did not move or speak. If he heard them at all, he gave no indication of it.


End file.
